Kerry Barrett - I'll Be There For You

The relief I felt at knowing I wasn’t the only witch this had happened to was almost overwhelming. I felt tears well up in my eyes just because I wasn’t on my own any more.

‘Mildred,’ I typed. ‘Thanks so much for telling me about your friend and offering to help. I’m so desperate to get this sorted out but I don’t want to tell of my closest witch friends or family ‒ there’s too much at stake.’

I reduced the screen and started working on the staff rota Nessa and I had just put together, until a small ping told me I had a reply.

Mildred had messaged me privately on the website.

‘My friend had been through a lot of stress,’ she wrote. ‘We did a bit of research and discovered it’s not uncommon for witches to lose their powers like that.’

But I wanted to know the end of the story.

‘Did she get them back?’ I typed. ‘What did she do to get better?’

A reply pinged back straight away.

‘She did get them back,’ Mildred wrote. ‘It wasn’t easy but the first thing she did was to go…’

The message stopped.

I stared at the screen.

‘Where?’ I typed. ‘Where did she go?’

Nothing happened.

‘Mildred?’ I wrote.

Nothing.

I clicked on her name on her last message. Offline it said. Oh great. The first bit of hope I’d got, and it had disappeared almost as fast as it had arrived.

Grumpy, I slammed my laptop shut. It looked like I was on my own.

Chapter 6

From: Jasmine55

To: MildredHubble

Dear Mildred,

I’m sorry to message you, but I was really interested in what you were saying yesterday about how your friend managed to get better. I’m not sure what happened but I couldn’t see the end of your message.

Anyway, I’m not sure if you’re still checking in on the website, but I’m finding it helpful to write all this stuff down, even if you’re not reading it, so I thought I’d carry on.

It’s a chicken and egg situation, I think. I’ve lost my powers and I don’t know if I’m feeling so lost, and unhappy because they’ve disappeared or if I’ve lost them as a result of how hopeless I feel. Does that make sense? The worst thing is that I feel so guilty for feeling bad. What do I have to feel down about? I’ve got a great partner, gorgeous kids, a lovely house, no money worries. People have it a lot harder than I do. So why can’t I cope?

Don’t feel you have to reply, Mildred. In fact, delete this message if you like. I’ll never know, after all.

But if you are reading, I’d love to know more about your friend and what she did to get her powers back. It’s silly, really, because I’ve got a brilliant support network – my mum, friends, my partner – but it’s hard to tell them how I’m feeling right now. I’m quite a perfectionist, I’ve always been really driven, and admitting I’m not feeling that way is really hard. I think that’s why I’m finding it easier to write it all down, and tell you instead. Please drop me a line if you can – and if I haven’t scared you off by being so needy.

Jasmine x

From: MildredHubble

To: Jasmine55

Dear Jasmine,

I’m sorry I’ve taken a while to reply. Things are sometimes tricky at home.

Anyway, I know all about perfection, believe me. I’m a real control freak and so’s my husband. He’s properly type-A, as the Americans say. We should probably lighten up a bit, but that’s the way we are, I suppose, and we’re not going to change now.

Anyway, I’m so pleased you feel you can talk to me and I hope that if I can help you it will go some way to making amends for how I let my friend down. If I’m honest, I feel like I’ve let a lot of my friends down over the years. Family life gets in the way, you know? It’s hard to keep in touch with everyone when you’ve got little ones to look after – I’m sure you know how that feels.

Maybe online friends are the way to go? After all, we do everything else online now, don’t we? I do the weekly shop on the Internet, I read books on my kindle, I watch films online – it’s all digital. So it makes sense to have digital friends, too. Maybe we can be each other’s online friend? I’d like that. It’s easier to be honest, I think, when you’re not face-to-face.

And I’d really like you to be honest with me, Jasmine. It sounds to me like you’re having a rough old time of it, and I want to help.

I have to go now – my husband’s on his way home and I need to tidy up before he arrives. Perfectionist, remember? I’m going to have a think about what’s happened to you – maybe have a look in some books – and I’ll get back to you. Can you tell me a bit about what sort of witch you were before?

Love, Mildred x

From: Jasmine55

To: MildredHubble

Just knowing you’re on my side has made me feel better already. Does that sound mad? Knowing you understand what I’m going through and what’s happening to me means I feel better able to deal with it all.

So you asked what kind of witch I was before. Where to start? Witchcraft is everything to me. It’s my life. I’ve always been a very powerful witch and because my family, most of them at least, share my skills, I’ve had amazing support my whole life. Until things went wrong, I used witchcraft every day, in every part of my life. I use it for all the boring stuff like cleaning, finding a parking space, sorting out the laundry – you know. I’ve tried to use it for cooking but it doesn’t always work – decorating cakes is about the only thing that works in my experience. Trying to bake the cakes themselves using spells is always a disaster. At least that’s what my mum claims – she’s a brilliant cook and she never uses witchcraft to bake. My business is based around witchcraft. I use it at work every single day – at least, I did. And though my partner isn’t a witch, most of my friends are. So what kind of a witch am I? One who has witchcraft oozing through her veins. What about you?

Love, Jasmine. X

From: MildredHubble

To: Jasmine55

Dear Jasmine,

Oh, I wish I was like you. With witchcraft in the very essence of your being. But I’m not like that at all. I’m a perfectly capable witch. Competent. Practical. I don’t work any more – I’m a stay-at-home mum now – but when I did I used witchcraft most days. Only for things like filing, though. It was never the main part of my job, and it’s still not a big part of my life, not really.

I was a PA back then. I like to think I was a good one. In fact, I must have been doing something right, because I married the boss! I met my husband when I started working for him, and he soon swept me off my feet. My husband is a witch too. A very good one, in fact. He sounds a bit like you – using it every day and in every way. Though I’m not sure he’d have married me if I’d not been a witch. He’s quite keen on making sure our powers aren’t diluted and that they’re passed on to future generations. He doesn’t really mix with people who aren’t witches at all. In some ways it’s a relief that both my parents have passed away – they weren’t witches and it would have made things quite tricky for me. He was the only witch in his family, and his parents couldn’t cope at all. His dad really favoured his younger brother, even though it was my husband who was the talented one. It’s left him with a few issues about keeping to ourselves – he thinks it’s easier that way.

Anyway, Jasmine, enough of me wittering on. Please keep in touch. I feel like we’re friends already.

Mildred x

***

The rest of the week was pretty normal. Louise and I actually spent a couple of evenings together catching up on Breaking Bad and eating dinner at the same time for once. It was really nice and I felt less gloomy about things, largely because I felt like I’d found an ally in Mildred. It was strange to feel connected to someone I didn’t know from Adam, but I was pleased to have someone to listen to my problems.