Kerry Barrett - I'll Be There For You

I felt like I wasn’t doing a good enough job at home with the twins, and I definitely wasn’t doing a good enough job at work because of my rubbish spells.

And then there was Louise. I felt like our relationship had really taken a back seat since the twins arrived ‒ inevitable I suppose. We were like ships that passed in the night during the week, I sometimes worked on Saturdays and she often worked all weekend. Plus, I had to admit I was beginning to feel a little resentful. Because I ran my own business I called the shots. Employing Nessa had freed up my time, my brother helped out when he was around, though I did have to keep a strict eye on him, and I often brought paperwork home. Louise’s job was completely different. She was at the beck and call of Edinburgh’s criminals. If she were working on an important case she would often not come home at all. Plus there were the out-of-hours bits ‒ she always said her team came up with their best theories over a pint and a bag of crisps. I believed her, of course, but it was hard not to feel a bit put upon when I was the one bathing the twins and putting them to bed and I knew she was in the pub. Admittedly, I never drank beer or ate crisps and the pub next to the police station was one I wouldn’t dream of setting my treasured Louboutins in, but that was beside the point.

I was beginning to feel this was all too much. Lou, the twins, my loss of power. Everything. I pulled the duvet over my head and went to sleep with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Chapter 4

I went to work really early the next day. I kissed a sleepy Louise goodbye and she stirred, then opened her eyes and stared at me.

‘Harry,’ she said. ‘What’s going on?’

I gave her a quick smile.

‘Nothing,’ I lied. ‘Everything’s fine. I just want to be in early because I’ve got a new reiki practitioner starting and I want to get everything ready for her.‘

I grabbed my bag and my leather jacket and headed downstairs. As I reached the front door, I heard Finlay crying and felt a brief glimmer of guilt that I’d probably woken him earlier than normal. I ignored it.

It was a glorious morning. One of those spring days when you feel like the whole world is waking up from hibernation. For the first time in months, I walked to work along the riverbank. It was a bit longer than going along the road, but much nicer and I smiled to see crocuses and daffodils appearing along the way.

It was quiet at In Harmony. We didn’t open until 10 a.m. and the staff normally didn’t start arriving until 9ish. I had about an hour before anyone got there. I locked the door behind me ‒ I was still a bit jittery about security after some bad stuff had happened a few years before ‒ then dumped my bags in my office.

I was really proud of my spa. It was calm and quiet and I knew our clients really valued what we provided for them. It had taken a lot of work to get it established but now we were booming.

I hadn’t been lying about the new reiki practitioner. I did have a new woman starting that day. But there wasn’t much to do. I just made sure her room was clean and neat, stuck her name label on the door and filled a jug with water. Then I went back to my office and shut the door.

Coffee, I thought, as I switched on my laptop. I twitched my fingers and, of course, nothing happened.

With a heavy sigh I got up and went back to reception where we kept a coffee machine. I stared at it for a few minutes, then eventually realised I had absolutely no idea how to work it. Life was hard when you had no magical powers. I’d have to wait until our receptionist, Nancy, arrived.

I stomped back to my office in a slightly over-dramatic fashion and slumped in front of my laptop.

I needed help and the only place I could find it was online – on the website I’d created in fact.

Inharmony.com was amazing ‒ a real gem of a website. I took no credit for that. I’d built it up with the help of some talented web designers, my ex-girlfriend Natalie, and all the users who’d been really helpful ‒ and vocal ‒ about telling me what they needed from a one-stop witch website.

It covered everything from eating out to legal advice, gardening, property, health and fitness, even education, all from a witch’s perspective. It was basically Mumsnet, or Football365 – but for witches.

Now I clicked on the parenting section ‒ slightly ashamed to realise it was the first time I’d so much as looked at that bit.

I scrolled through the options until I found details of local baby groups. There was one not far from where we lived on a Friday morning – one of my days off. The twee way the ad was written made me want to stick pencils in my eyes but I knew Fi and Finn would really benefit from being around other kids with similar talents and I couldn’t help them at the moment. I saved all the information, then I sat back in my chair and phoned Esme.

‘Let’s go out,’ she said when she answered the phone. Not even bothering to say hello. ‘Let’s you and me go for a long, boozy lunch, right now.’

‘It’s 8.45,’ I said, chuckling. ‘Did Clemmie have a bad night?’

‘It’s not even nine o’clock?’ Esme said, sounding genuinely surprised. ‘But I’ve been up for at least half a day.’

We swapped sleep horror stories for a few minutes and then I took a deep breath.

‘Esme, I need you to do me a big favour,’ I said.

‘Okay,’ she said doubtfully.

‘Will you come to a witches’ baby group with me on Friday?’

‘No,’ she said. Esme was a reluctant witch and was definitely not part of the local ‘scene’ as we called it.

‘Do you want to think about that?’ I said, sniffily.

‘It’s really not my sort of thing,’ she said.

She was right, it wasn’t. But the truth was, I needed her. I couldn’t let the other mums know I’d lost my powers ‒ there was far too much at stake. We had been approved to adopt the twins because I was a witch. What would happen if anyone found out I had no magic any more? Would we lose the kids? Would Louise still love me if we lost our children because of me? What about my job? The spa was built upon my witchcraft. Suddenly I saw a future where I’d lost everything. I let out a sob, which I tried to cover with a cough.

‘Harry,’ Esme said. ‘Are you okay?’

For a minute I couldn’t answer.

‘I just really need you to come with me,’ I said eventually.

Esme paused.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll come. But I’ve got a few conditions.’

I was so relieved I’d have agreed to anything.

‘Name them,’ I said.

‘Will you babysit for Clemmie so Jamie and I can have a night out?’ she asked.

‘Of course.’

‘And you have to come to my baby group on Thursday.’

‘Oh, Ez,’ I complained.

‘Please, Harry,’ she said. ‘I really want you to meet everyone. And if I’m coming to yours…’

I gave in.

‘Fine,’ I said. ‘But don’t expect me to enjoy it.’

Esme gave a delighted giggle.

‘But no magic,’ she said.

‘No magic,’ I repeated sadly.

After I’d said goodbye to Esme, there was a knock on my office door and Nancy came in with a cup of coffee.

‘Thank you,’ I said gratefully. ‘I haven’t had chance to get one this morning.’

She gave me a slightly odd look but didn’t push me.

‘Beth Taylor, the new reiki practitioner is here,’ she said instead. ‘Do you want to come and say hello?’

The morning passed quickly. I never scheduled any counselling on Mondays, preferring to keep it as an admin day, so I could show Beth around and more importantly I didn’t need to worry about my lack of magic, which was a big relief.

After lunch I had a break, so I opened my laptop again and logged into InHarmony once more.