Anna Snoekstra - Little Secrets

Desperately, she’d wanted to impress him. To show him that he had underestimated her. That was why she’d given him the blow job, just to see what he’d do. But as soon as his dick was in her mouth she wished she hadn’t started it. She didn’t feel as powerful as she’d thought she would. Afterward, he just zipped up his pants, went back inside and still talked to her in the exact same dismissive way he always had.

Bazza was different. She had never even noticed him until the night of the big fire. She remembered it vividly. The acrid stink of smoke, the windows of the courthouse exploding, one after another. She’d stood there, hands over her mouth, trying not to cry. Out of nowhere, Baz was beside her.

“You okay?” he’d said.

She had just looked at him, and then his big arm was around her. Immediately, everything had felt a little easier, just like when she was with Rose. Every time she thought about him, she could still feel that warm, heavy, protective arm across her shoulders.

Rose came back into the bar, her hand over her mouth.

“What?” Mia asked, but Rose didn’t reply. Instead, a small smile crept out from under Rose’s hand.

“Who was it?”

“Don’t laugh,” Rose said, and her eyes were all lit up in a way Mia hadn’t seen for a while. Not since she’d told her about being short-listed for the cadetship. Something cold gripped Mia’s stomach.

“Just tell me.”

“I sent an article in to the Star.”

“The Star?” Mia asked, both desperately wanting to know what Rose would say and also frantically trying to put off knowing. “Don’t you think they’re a joke?”

She wasn’t ready for Rose to go. Not yet, not quite yet.

“I do, but who cares? I’ve got to start somewhere. I sent them an article this morning. They’re going to publish it!”

“What article?” Mia asked. “You didn’t mention it.”

Rose looked at her, and Mia knew her reaction was all wrong. “Just something stupid about those dolls,” Rose said. “It doesn’t matter though—it’s my first byline.”

“That’s fantastic!” Mia grabbed Rose’s hand and grinned. “I knew I could see your success in the stars.”

“I guess you did!” she said gleefully.

“This is so great,” Mia said, letting go of Rose’s hand and turning to put down the tea towel so that she could let her smile drop.

“And they said they want me to write a follow-up piece and they’ll publish that too!”

It was happening; Rose’s big breakthrough, her ticket out of Colmstock. Rose was always saying they’d go together, but Mia knew it would never happen. She couldn’t leave. She turned back around and threw her arms around Rose.

“Congratulations,” she said, squeezing her tight and trying her hardest to focus on Rose’s happiness and block out the fear of what her life would be like without her.

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