Kate Hewitt - Modern Romance April 2016

Jaz was almost beyond speech, her breath coming out in fractured, pleading bursts. ‘Yes...oh, yes... Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.’

He started moving again, each thrust making her wild with need. He put one of his hands on the wall beside her head to anchor himself as he drove into her with a frantic urgency that made the blood spin, sizzle and sing in her veins. He brought his hand down between their joined bodies, his fingers expertly caressing her until her senses exploded. She clung to him as the storm broke in her, through her, over her.

He followed close behind, three or four hard pumps; a couple of deep, primal grunts and it was over.

Jaz wriggled her knickers back in place and smoothed her dress down as the lift continued up to their floor. ‘I reckon you must hold some sort of record for getting a condom on,’ she said into the silence. ‘It’s like a sleight of hand thing. Amazing.’

He gave her a glinting look as he zipped his trousers. ‘Always pays to be prepared.’

A shiver danced its way down her spine as he escorted her out of the lift to their suite, his hand resting in the small of her back. Once they were inside their suite he closed the door and pulled her to him until she was in the circle of his arms. ‘Happy with how tonight went?’ he said.

Was he talking about her business or their love-making? ‘I’ve got a meeting with the expo organisers next week,’ Jaz said. ‘It’s an exciting opportunity. I’m hoping it will lead to bigger events, maybe even internationally.’

He smoothed a wisp of her hair back off her face. ‘Why did you choose to design wedding gear? Why not evening, or fashion in general?’

Jaz slipped out of his hold, feeling a lecture coming on. Of course he would think weddings were a waste of time and money. He was a playboy. A wedding was the last thing on earth that would interest him. But to her they signified everything she had dreamed about as a child. Her parents hadn’t married. They hadn’t even made a formal commitment to each other. They had just hooked up one night and look how that had turned out. She had been passed between them like a parcel no one wanted until finally her mother had dumped her with her dad without even saying goodbye or ‘see you later’.

‘Jaz?’

She turned to look at him, her mouth set. ‘Do you know what it’s like to grow up without a sense of family? To have to borrow someone else’s family in order to feel normal?’

Jake frowned. ‘I’m not sure what that has to do with your choice of career but—’

‘It has everything to do with it,’ Jaz said. ‘For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be normal. To have normal parents, not one who’s off her face most of the time and the other who hadn’t wanted a kid in the first place. I didn’t have anything from either of my parents that made me feel a part of a unit. I was a mistake, an accident, an inconvenience.’ She folded her arms and continued. ‘But when a couple marries, it’s different. It’s a public declaration of love and commitment and mostly—not always, but mostly—one expressing a desire to have children.’

Jaz looked at him as the silence swelled. Had she said too much? Revealed too much? What did it matter? She was tired of him criticising her choices. ‘A wedding dress is something most brides keep for the rest of their lives,’ she said. ‘It can be passed down from a mother to a daughter. General fashion isn’t the same. It’s seasonal, transient. Some pieces might be passed on but they don’t have the emotional resonance a wedding dress has. That’s why I design wedding gowns. Every woman deserves to be a princess for a day. I like being able to make that wish come true.’ Even if I can’t make it come true for myself.

Jake gave a slow nod. ‘Sounds reasonable.’

‘But you think I’m crazy.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

Jaz went to the drinks fridge and poured a glass of mineral water, taking a sip before she turned to face him again. He was looking at her with a contemplative look on his face, his brows drawn together, his mouth set in a serious line, his gaze centred on hers. ‘I’m sorry if tonight’s been absolute torture for you but this weekend’s really important to me.’

His mouth tilted in a wry smile. ‘You’re not one bit sorry. You’ve enjoyed every minute, watching me squirm down there.’

Jaz smiled back. ‘It was rather fun, I have to admit. I can’t wait to see what press photos show up. I wonder if they got the one of you with the bouquet. Or maybe I should text it or post it online?’

He closed the distance between them and pulled her down to the bed in a tangle of limbs. ‘Cheeky minx,’ he said, eyes twinkling with amusement.

Jaz stroked the sexy stubble on his face, her belly fluttering with excitement as his hard body pressed against hers. His hooded gaze went to her mouth, his thumb coming up to brush over her lower lip until it tingled, as if teased by electrodes. ‘What are you thinking?’

‘You mean you can’t tell?’ he said with a wicked sparkle in his eyes.

She snatched in a breath as his body moved against her, triggering a tide of want that flooded her body, pooling hotly in her core. ‘When you hook up with someone, how many times do you have sex with them in one night?’

A frown creased his forehead. ‘Why do you want to know?’

Jaz traced the trench of his frown with her finger. ‘Just wondering.’

He caught her hand and pinned it on the bed beside her head, searching her gaze for a pulsing moment. ‘Wondering what?’

‘If you’ve done it more with me than with anyone else.’

‘And if I have?’

She looked at his mouth. ‘Is it...different...? With me, I mean?’

He nudged up her chin with a blunt fingertip, locking his gaze with hers. ‘Different in what way?’

Jaz wasn’t sure why she was fishing so hard for compliments. He had made it clear how long their fling was going to last. Just because he had made love to her several times tonight didn’t mean anything other than he had a high sex drive. He was, after all, a man in his sexual prime. But their love-making was so different from anything she had experienced with other partners. It was more exciting, more satisfying, more addictive, which was a problem because she couldn’t afford to get too used to having him. ‘I don’t know...more intense?’

He slid his hand along the side of her face to splay his fingers through her hair. It was an achingly tender hold that made Jaz’s heart squeeze as if someone had crushed it in a vice. Could it be possible he was coming to care for her? Really care for her? Was that why their intimacy was so satisfying? Did their physical connection reflect a much deeper one that had been simmering in the background for years?

But she didn’t love him.

Not the slavish way she had as a teenager. She was an adult now. Her feelings for him were mature and sensible. She knew his faults and limitations. She didn’t whitewash his personality to make him out to be anything he was not. She was too sensible to hanker after a future with him because he wasn’t the future type. He was the ‘for now’ type.

Falling in love with Jake Ravensdale once had been bad enough. To do it twice would be emotional suicide.

‘It is different,’ Jake said. ‘But that doesn’t mean I want it to continue longer than we agreed.’

‘I’m not asking for an extension,’ Jaz said. ‘I can’t afford to waste my time having a long-term fling with someone who doesn’t want the same things I want. I want to get on with my life and find my soul mate. I want to start a family before I’m thirty.’

His frown hadn’t quite gone away but now it was deeper than ever. ‘You shouldn’t rush into your next relationship. Take your time getting to know them. And what’s the big rush on having kids? You’re only twenty-three. You’ve got heaps of time.’