Cathy Williams - Summer Loving

His shoulders stiffened, but he carried on pushing buttons. Only when the familiar sound of coffee percolating echoed through the kitchen did he face her.

‘You know that bit in a movie when you know the good guy has done something really bad and is going to get it in the neck but you keep rooting for him anyway?’

Ava set her camera down before she dropped it. ‘Yes?’ Her voice emerged shaky.

‘That’s not me, Ava. I’m the bad guy, who selfishly took what he shouldn’t have, then compounded his situation by making things a million times worse.’

‘How have you made things worse?’

He shook his head as if words failed him. She moved towards him, her feet hardly making a sound across the hardwood floor.

Cesare heaved a breath, struggled to calm the riotous feelings rampaging through him. He raked a hand through his hair, unable to bear the thought of telling her what he’d woken to—what the future held for them.

When he lowered his hand, Ava reached for it. He focused on her, his heart thumping now to a different beat, the hard pounding of want, of the selfish need to forget the last ten minutes. To go back and suspend time at the exact moment he’d woken up in Ava’s arms.

But questions flooded her eyes—questions she’d grown so tired of asking but had never diminished nonetheless. What had she asked him? What was wrong? As if he’d spoken aloud, she nodded. ‘Tell me,’ she demanded firmly.

He tried to speak but the words wouldn’t form. To speak would be to condemn him to hell for ever. But he’d known as he’d torn himself from Ava’s warmth this morning and seen the missed call from Celine that he’d run out of time.

His hand tightened around hers and he led her to the living room and urged her down onto the sofa. He paced, yearning with everything inside him not to have to shatter her peace. She watched him, her expectant gaze gradually turning into a frown.

‘For God’s sake, whatever it is, just spit it out. Please,’ she added, her plump lips trembling before she firmed them. ‘You’re scaring me with that bringer-of-the-Apocalypse look.’

Sucking in a breath, he sank down next to her. Immediately her evocative scent filled his nostrils. The urge to remain silent, to breathe it in and just drown in her heady essence almost overcame him. He suppressed a grimace.

He clasped his hands to stop their shaking. ‘Celine called this morning but I missed it. I called her back ten minutes ago.’

The fear that entered her eyes chilled his heart. ‘And?’

‘She had the results. Roberto died from Late Onset Tay-Sachs syndrome.’

A shake of her head. ‘I’ve never heard of it.’

‘It’s not a common condition. According to Celine, it is almost always misdiagnosed. Most people only know about it when it affects them.’

‘Is it...did Roberto suffer?’ she asked in a pained whisper.

His breath shuddered through his chest. ‘Sì. It’s a horrible disease.’

When she put her hand on his cheek, he nearly lost it. He greedily absorbed the touch because he knew it would be gone soon, once she knew the whole truth.

‘I’m so sorry, Cesare. For you and for what Roberto went through.’

‘Save your sympathy, cara. I don’t deserve it.’

Her fingers trembled against his cheek. ‘Why would you say that?’

‘Because the condition...it doesn’t begin and end with Roberto. It’s a genetic defect that is passed down from parent to child.’

Her eyes remained blank, then slowly widened, filling with horror as the implications of his words finally sank in. Her hand dropped like a stone and she paled, the freckles dusted along her cheeks standing out against milk-white skin.

With everything inside, he wanted to take the pain away.

Ava fought to breathe. Moments ago, she’d been harbouring hope that they were about to discuss how to find their way back to each other.

Instead, he’d dropped this...this...

‘Are you saying...that...you and Annabelle both have this gene?’ The words scoured her throat.

Pain ripped across his face. ‘Yes. I passed it to her. You called me bringer-of-the-Apocalypse. You were right.’

‘But...she’s perfectly healthy. Other than the odd cold, and what she suffered with the earthquake, she’s never been sick a day in her life. And you’re not sick either.’

‘No, I’m...not.’

Something in his response caught her attention. ‘Cesare, what aren’t you telling me?’

His glance held a wealth of pain that made her heart lurch. ‘Because both my parents carry the gene, what happened to Roberto could happen to me.’

‘Did your parents know?’

‘I’d like to think they wouldn’t deliberately keep something like this from Roberto and me. I saw what losing him did to my mother. I’m guessing they don’t know. Like I said, most people don’t know they have it until they fall ill.’

For one blazing second she was fiercely glad his parents had been ignorant because they’d not only brought Cesare into her life, they’d also given her Annabelle. Then a thought trickled through, further chilling her blood.

‘So what are the repercussions for Annabelle?’

His eyes took on a haunted look that stilled her heart. ‘It could remain dormant all her life, or...the gene could mutate and she could develop complications,’ he replied starkly.

A dark sound tore from her throat. Horror built, overcoming every other emotion as her insides screamed with disbelief at what he was telling her. Her daughter, her lovely daughter who had survived an earthquake, susceptible to a potentially life-threatening disease...

‘Did you suspect something like this? Is that why you kept Roberto’s illness from me?’ The thought made her heart crack with pain. ‘How long had he been seriously sick?’

‘He’d been deteriorating for a year. It worsened in the last six months.’

Shock made her draw back, tears swiftly following as emotions tumbled through her. ‘You knew all that, knew that something was very wrong and you kept it from me?’

He tried to reach for her. ‘These were all second-hand reports. I didn’t know just how bad he was. And I wanted to protect you—’

‘Don’t you dare say you were trying to protect me! You had no right to keep such a thing from me. What if Annabelle had fallen sick and I didn’t know what was wrong?’ Terror clutched her heart. ‘Dear God, Cesare, what if she’d...’ She couldn’t voice the words. When he gripped her arms, she didn’t move because she couldn’t find the strength. Her insides felt numb and the horrific reality gripped her.

‘Don’t think like that.’

Slowly she raised her head. ‘Why not? It’s what you’ve been doing. At least now I understand the look you get when you look at Annabelle. You’ve been expecting the worst, haven’t you?’

Cesare paled even more and the lines around his mouth compressed. ‘I needed to be sure. It was why I postponed coming back to Bali. Roberto refused my attempts to see him. But six weeks ago, just before we left for Bali, he asked for me.’ He sucked in a shuddering breath. ‘He’d taken a turn for the worse. I think deep down he knew he wasn’t going to make it. When I found out the extent of his illness, I contacted Celine. She tried to make him see a specialist but he refused. It was almost as if he’d given up...which was why we suspected suicide.’

‘Oh God...’ A strangled sob emerged.

His hands tightened on her arms. ‘Cara, I’m sorry—’

She wrenched away from him. ‘You shouldn’t have kept all this from me, Cesare.’

He gave a grim nod. ‘I regret that. But I wanted to spare you the pain.’

‘You had no right to shoulder this alone. We were thousands of miles away. What if something had happened to you?’ The thought brought a fresh bolt of horror.