Tuhin Sinha - Daddy

If you live in a metro city, chances are that you’re not entirely happy with your living situation. You may find your flat too cramped or the area too noisy and yet you’re not in a tearing rush to look for a better place. It happens when you lead a hectic life and shifting homes is an ordeal you can do without. When a baby comes into the picture, you’ll be in no mood for a compromise. Naturally, you’ll want what is best for your child—a place that is safe, peaceful and has enough room for your baby to move about freely.

Ramyani and I shifted to a new place two months prior to Tanish’s birth. We wanted a bigger house for him to crawl around and explore. We also wanted my parents and Ramyani’s mom to spend more time with us, which meant getting a larger space. We gave the flat we owned on rent and shifted to a bigger rental accommodation. It seemed like an unusual solution at the time, but another friend whose wife got pregnant a few months after Ramyani did the same after seeing how much it helped us. Shobhit also sold his flat and shifted into one that was tailor-made for babies. The flat was small in size but it made up for that with an adjoining balcony which was as big as the rest of the house. “We wanted a private playground for the baby where he could crawl around freely. Mumbai apartments simply don’t provide that,” he reasoned.

In India, there are families that look beyond size and safety while choosing a new address; superstition also plays a part. If you feel that a particular house has brought you bad luck, you might want to shift to one that has a more positive energy. Like I said before, I have an ambivalent attitude to such matters. A couple in my building changed homes soon after the wife started expecting. The husband later told me, “My wife had had two sudden miscarriages even when everything seemed alright. Somehow we were convinced that our flat was jinxed. When my wife conceived this time, we consulted a spiritual guru who asked us to shift out of the house. And it worked.”

Moving houses is an expensive proposition and could add to your already mounting costs. The next best option would be to make your current house as child-friendly as possible. A few days before her due date, when Ramyani returned from work, she insisted we visit a mall. She picked up an assortment of soft toys, art paper and oil paints. By the next morning she had created a colourful baby corner in the room. There were miniature bears, dogs, monkeys and penguins on the bed-stand and paintings of animated mushrooms, butterflies and fish on the walls. I wondered if Ramyani’s efforts were futile. Wouldn’t the baby be too small to appreciate art! Also, I wasn’t too thrilled to see her exerting herself in that precarious state. But the joy and excitement on Ramyani’s face made it worth it.

Your first introduction with your baby, even before the birth, will be through ultrasounds. I would eagerly await these sessions. With every passing scan you can see your child evolve from a foetus to a full-grown baby. Asad too echoes my sentiments. Like me, he was obsessed with ultrasounds! “The first sonography was the most moving and we looked forward to seeing our baby each month and then every 2 weeks. There were some weeks we didn’t need a sonography/doplar, but we would joke about dropping by for one anyway,” he says.

Ramyani’s first ultrasound was in her seventh week. My research told me that this is when you can hear the baby’s heartbeat. Unfortunately while Tanish’s growth was on track, the heartbeat I longed to hear couldn’t yet be deciphered. A week later when we went for another ultrasound, we were both quite nervous. I hadn’t been able to get much work done in anticipation of this moment. And then there it was—a vibrant, robust heartbeat. It sounded a bit like a young horse breathing rapidly but at that time it felt like music to my ears.

Five weeks later came the all-important nuchal translucency scan. This is also the scan after which most people break the news to the world. A nuchal scan helps identify higher risks of chromosomal defects, including Down’s Syndrome in a foetus. ]This scan is carried out at 11–13.6 weeks of pregnancy and assesses the thickness of the soft tissues at the nape of neck. From the information I got off the Web, I learnt that the nuchal thickness ought to measure less than 2.2 mm. Hence, I was fixated on this figure throughout the scan.

As the doctor took us through the different body parts of the foetus, I stopped and asked, “Hold on, will you first please tell me the nuchal thickness?” The doctor looked back in surprise. He wondered how I was aware of such technicalities. “1.2 mm,” he answered quietly. “Oh, great! You can proceed with what you were saying,” I replied in relief. Ramyani stifled her laughter as the bemused doctor continued the scan.

The other crucial hurdle is the mid-semester scan. As the name suggests, this is done mid-way, around the 20 thweek of pregnancy. If your radiologist is not in a tearing rush to move on to the next patient, this one can go on for a good half hour. I assure you by the end of it you would count it among your most beautiful experiences ever. I was told that if the expectant mother consumes something sweet just before the ultrasound, the baby’s movements are more pronounced. We couldn’t wait to test this theory. The logic behind it is simple—sugar increases the glucose levels in the blood, leading to increased activity of the baby. In this scan, each body part is focused upon in turns. For the first time we got a clear look at the shape of the baby’s head, the limbs and heart.

The baby held both his hands together, as if greeting us with a Namaste. On our way out I told Ramyani, “I think I noticed something.” “What?” she asked unsuspectingly. “That it’s probably going to be a boy,” I said.

A few weeks before Tanish’s birth, Ramyani and I signed up for stem cell banking. There are several private or personal banks in the country that store stem cells extracted from the amniotic fluid of the child. This can later be accessed by the person whose stem cells have been banked or his/her immediate relatives in case of a medical emergency. The concept of stem cell banking has been active for many years in India but the parents I spoke to were all sceptical about the credibility of the companies. Since it is originally a western concept, I guess they were doubtful if the services in India could match international standards.

I was very keen that we go in for it while Ramyani was not. I looked at it as medical insurance for the baby. ‘Why cut corners when it comes to shielding your baby from potential health risks,’ I thought? Our doctor said we should opt for it if money was not an issue. The rates ranged between Rs 70,000-1,00,000 at that time. We chose an offer by Cordlife India. Asad opted for a brand called Life Cell. “They were prompt and almost professional. It was only after Aishwarya Rai Bachchan decided to be a spokesperson for it and their full page ad in The Times of India did the service get a tad bit slow. I guess they were overwhelmed with calls!” he says.

The exorbitant rates of stem cell banking could pose as a deterrent for those considering it. My friend in Bangalore, Zahid H Javali, decided against it because he felt it was too large an investment on something that may or may not be worth it. “The practice isn’t as standardised and widespread as it is in the western countries. The proper care and upkeep of stem cells is a concern. Not too many people are qualified and committed to the cause of medical hygiene,” reasons Zahid, who runs his own custom publishing firm. His concerns seem to be valid, but then again, there are parents who did not go in for stem cell banking for the same reasons, and regret it now. In such cases, Zahid says parents can make things right by opting for dental stem cell banking which can be done while the child still has milk teeth.