Charlotte Maclay - Between Honor And Duty

Minivans didn’t usually burn rubber. But Janice wheeled out of the driveway so fast the tires squealed. Within two blocks she slowed, realizing she’d never be able to outrun her own wayward thoughts.

Junipero Serra Elementary School was a relatively new one, a sprawling one-story complex with two big play yards. Because of population growth, however, the school district had added four trailers for additional classrooms and there was talk of developing a new school on the north side of Paseo del Real to take the pressure off existing facilities. Taxpayers weren’t thrilled with the idea.

Janice parked the van and walked toward the separate building that housed two classes of kindergartners. Smiling, she acknowledged other mothers who’d come to pick up their children, some of them pushing strollers or holding the hand of a toddler. Regret slid through Janice’s chest at the thought she’d never have another baby to hold in her arms. Thank God Maddie had come along despite Ray’s insistence that one child was enough.

The adjacent play yard for the kindergarten children had one corner blocked off with a yellow tape where a three-foot-deep construction pit had been dug to install a new piece of play equipment. Vaguely, Janice wondered if that bit of construction wouldn’t have been better and more safely accomplished during the summer vacation. A yellow tape, like those used around crime scenes, hardly seemed strong enough to keep out curious children.

Like a cork on a bottle of champagne popping, the classroom door flew open and a stream of five-year-olds burst free. Maddie was in the middle of the swarm. She made a beeline for Janice and flung herself into her mother’s arms.

“Mommy!” she sobbed.

Kneeling, Janice caught her daughter. “What is it, sweetheart? Did you hurt yourself?”

“Uh-uh.” She shook her head. Her eyes were red-rimmed and tears tracked down her cheeks.

“Then what—”

“Hello, Mrs. Gainer.”

Seeking an explanation for her daughter’s distress, Janice looked up at Miss Sebastian, the kindergarten teacher. Her youthful complexion and pert ponytail made her look as if she should still be in high school, not a second-year teacher.

“I told the students this morning about Daddies’ Day in our classroom next week. I like to involve their fathers as much as I can in the children’s education. I’m afraid that’s what upset Maddie.”

Janice drew a painful breath.

“My daddy’s dead.” Sobbing, Maddie mashed her face against Janice’s shoulder.

“I tried to explain that grandfathers or uncles would be welcome, or any man who is special in their lives.”

Standing, Janice lifted Maddie, and the child hooked her legs around Janice’s waist. Her heart was breaking for her daughter. She hadn’t realized Maddie’s grief was still so raw. She was such a happy child, but now it was obvious the wound had only healed on the surface. Down deep, she was still hurting. Janice should have realized a month wouldn’t be nearly long enough for her children to adjust to such a drastic change in their lives.

“I’m afraid our family is all in Missouri,” Janice explained.

“Quite a few of the children don’t have a father at home, or their father works at a job where he can’t get off. Maddie won’t be the only child without someone here that day. I’m sorry.” Despite her youthful appearance, Miss Sebastian looked sincerely apologetic. “It had slipped my mind that you’d lost your husband so recently.”

“We’ll work out something. Maybe she can bring his picture—”

“No! I want my daddy!”

Pursing her lips, Janice hugged her daughter more tightly and fought her own tears. “Let’s talk about this at home, honey. Okay? Logan Strong is there fixing our washing machine.”

Maddie sniffled. “’Kay.”

Janice gave the teacher a weak smile. “She’ll be all right.”

“I am sorry—”

Nodding, she carried Maddie out to the van. No doubt this would be just one of a long list of adjustments she and the children would have to make over the coming months and years. But they were strong. All three of them. They’d come through this just fine. Janice would see to that.

BY THE TIME Logan returned from the hardware store, Janice’s van was back in the driveway. He parked out front and walked to the side entrance, carrying the supplies he’d purchased to repair the washing-machine hose.

The house showed lots of signs of deferred maintenance—peeling paint, bubbling stucco where water had seeped up from the ground, a swing out back with a broken chain. No doubt Janice’s honey-do list could keep him busy for years.

A chance to see her smile or hear her laugh would keep him coming back even longer if he allowed that to happen. Which he wouldn’t. Helping her transition to single mother was his only goal. Plus easing his own sense of guilt for not having acted to save Ray’s life, he admitted.

He rapped on the door before stepping inside.

“Did you get everything you needed?” Janice stood at the kitchen counter making a sandwich.

“Yep.” He held up the four-foot-long rubber hose he’d purchased. The necessary clamps were in a small sack he carried.

Maddie sat at the kitchen table, her chin propped on her elbows. She looked as though she’d had a really hard day at school.

“You want a sandwich before you start?” Janice asked. “I can give you a choice of peanut butter or tuna salad.”

“I’m having peanut butter and jelly,” Maddie said with a minimum of enthusiasm.

“Why don’t I work on the washer first? It won’t take me long.”

He went about the business of pulling the washer away from the wall so he could disconnect the old hose. Within minutes he sensed Maddie standing behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder. “What’s up, sprite?”

“Nuthin’,” she said glumly. “How come you call me sprite?”

“Because I think you’re cute and bubbly.”

She watched silently as he pulled off the old hose and connected the new one. As he attached the first clamp and started to tighten it with a screwdriver, he felt vaguely pleased she was interested in what he was doing. He remembered watching his father—

“Would you be my daddy?”

His head snapped up, nearly giving him a whiplash, and the screwdriver slipped from his hand, clattering to the floor. “What did you say?”

“I want you to be my daddy.” She stood there with big brown eyes, as serious as an old woman.

“I think your mom might have something say about that.”

“Say about what?” Janice asked, returning to the kitchen from wherever she’d been.

“Logan’s going to be my daddy.”

His gaze collided with Janice’s. Her cheeks were turning as pink as his felt. “I don’t know where she got—”

“Maddie, honey, I don’t think Logan wants to—”

“But it’s only for one day!”

His gaze dropped to the child. “What are we talking about?”

Janice stepped forward, looping her hands over her daughter’s shoulders and pulling the child back against her, holding her snugly against her own body. “Her teacher invited the children’s fathers to a Daddies’ Day at school next week. Maddie got terribly upset she didn’t have anyone to bring.”

“Oh.” Odd how he wished Maddie’s request had been for something more permanent. “Guess that is a problem.”

“Not if you’ll be my pretend daddy.”

“Honey, Logan may have work that day, and even if he doesn’t, he may have other things he wants to do.”

Maddie’s lower lip jutted out, and her eyes filled with tears.

Janice was providing him with all the excuses he could possibly need. But Logan couldn’t turn down Maddie’s request, not with those big soulful eyes pleading with him to be her daddy, if only for a few hours. Hell, no man would be able to resist such a tempting little minx.