Leigh Bale - His Amish Choice

As she approached, the woman arched her back, displaying an obvious rounding of her abdomen. Eli figured she must be about six months pregnant.

“ Guder mariye , Abby. How are you feeling today?” Lizzie asked as the woman waddled toward them.

Ach , so this was Abby! Eli had heard all about her from his parents.

She rested a hand on her belly as Jakob Fisher joined them, taking her arm in a protective gesture. Before he’d left Riverton, Eli had known Jakob and his first wife, Susan, and their two small children, Reuben and Ruby. Jakob was older than Eli and they’d never been close friends, but Eli was sad to learn that Susan had died in childbirth while he was gone. Jakob had married Abby a year earlier and now they were expecting their first child together.

“I am well. The doctor has told me I’m perfectly healthy and should deliver just after the New Year,” Abby said.

“ Ach , you may deliver early. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a Christmas baby?” Lizzie asked, her voice filled with jubilation.

Jakob smiled wide. “ Ja , that would be the best Christmas gift ever.”

Abby just beamed, her face glowing with an ethereal beauty that seemed to accompany every new mother as she worked hand in hand with Gott to create a new life.

“ Hallo , Eli.” Jakob nodded to him. “I would like to introduce you to my wife, Abby.”

Eli smiled and nodded at the pretty woman. “I’m so glad to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she said. “I heard you are looking out for the Beilers while Jeremiah is laid up.”

“ Ja , the bishop thought it would be best,” Eli replied with a half smile.

“Because of the accident, I heard in town that they’re planning to put up more Amish buggy signs along the roads,” Jakob said.

“ Ach , it’s about time,” Abby said.

“ Ja , that would be gut . I just hope it gets the drivers to slow down,” Lizzie murmured.

Eli hoped so too. He hated the thought of any other members of their Gmay getting hurt.

The women stepped ahead of the men, moving off toward the kitchen. Marty and Annie joined Jakob’s two children, racing across the front lawn in carefree abandon. Church Sunday was a time to worship Gott , but it was also a time to socialize and relax from daily labors. Both adults and children alike usually looked forward to this day with happiness. But not Eli. Not when he glanced over and saw several older women watching him, their heads bent close as they chatted together. He couldn’t help wondering if he was the topic of their conversation, especially when Marva Geingerich eyed him with a look of revulsion.

“Don’t mind old Mrs. Geingerich. She doesn’t approve of anyone,” Jakob whispered.

Eli jerked, realizing that Jakob had stopped walking and was watching him closely. “Does my nervousness show that much?”

Jakob nodded, his mouth turned up in a generous smile. “I’m afraid so. When my Susan died, Marva didn’t approve of me either, simply because I was alone with two young kinder to raise. It didn’t matter that I had no control over my wife’s death or that I was grieving. Marva seems to be able to find anything and everything to disapprove of.”

When Jakob put it like that, it sounded rather silly, but Eli didn’t laugh.

“You must have been brokenhearted to lose Susan. How did you recover?” Eli asked, eager to know how to ease the gnawing pain he felt deep inside for Shannon.

“I’ll let you know if I ever do. Right now, I doubt a person can fully heal from losing someone they have loved. But you have to keep living. And the Lord blessed me with a second chance at happiness. I never thought it possible, but I’m so deeply in love with Abby and I can’t imagine living life without her.” Jakob’s gaze rested on Abby, his eyes filled with such wonder and devotion that Eli felt a lance of jealousy pierce his heart. Surely there would be no third chance for him.

Turning toward him, Jakob lifted a hand and rested it on Eli’s shoulder before squeezing gently. “I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to walk away from your familye when you left us, nor any easier for you to return. It took a lot of courage to come back and face your eldre . Now you have a second chance with Lizzie too.”

Eli blinked, not quite understanding. For the first time since his return, Eli wondered if everyone believed he still wanted to marry Lizzie. After all, none of them knew anything about Shannon. But Lizzie didn’t want him. Her words to him yesterday had indicated loud and clear that she didn’t love him anymore.

“Facing my eldre was easier than you might think,” Eli said. “They’re both relieved I’m back. But Lizzie is a different story. I think I’ve burned a bridge with her that can never be rebuilt.”

Jakob nodded. “No doubt she is still angry and hurt that you left, but she’s refused to look at any other man since then. She has a gut , forgiving heart. With time, I’m sure both of you will be able to let go of the past, just as I did.”

That was just it. Eli didn’t want to let go of Shannon. How could he forget what she had meant to him and the part he’d played in her death? It was his fault she had died, but he didn’t mention that to Jakob.

With one last smile of encouragement, Jakob turned and joined the other men as they lined up to go inside the spacious barn for their meetings. Eli followed, standing behind Martin Hostetler, who was three years older than him. With auburn hair, a smattering of freckles across his nose and blue eyes that gleamed with merriment, Martin was hardworking and filled with energy. Eli was surprised the man was still single.

Martin nodded and asked him several questions, but was cut off when they went inside, much to Eli’s relief. His thoughts were filled with turmoil. As they trailed into the barn and took their place opposite the women, he considered Jakob’s words. Yes, it had taken courage to return, and yet it hadn’t been so difficult. Not when he’d been yearning for home—and everything in Denver had reminded him of Shannon, filling him with grief and guilt. But now that he was here, he feared he’d made a mistake. People in his Gmay would expect him to marry. And he couldn’t do that right now. Maybe never. Perhaps he didn’t belong in this world anymore.

He glanced at Bishop Yoder’s pretty daughters sitting with Lizzie. The young women smiled shyly, then ducked their heads close together in a whispered conversation. Though he’d known most of them before he left, they all looked alike to Eli. Modest, chaste and pretty. With her creamy complexion and stunning eyes, Lizzie stood out among them, like a beacon of light in a sea of fog. Eli knew the Hostetlers and Geingeriches each had a daughter of marriageable age too, but he wasn’t interested. Not in any of them.

He glanced at Lizzie, who stared straight ahead at the bishop. As the vorsinger called out the first note of the opening song, she opened her mouth and sang in German from the Ausbund , their church hymnal. How ironic that she was the only woman in the room who didn’t seem to be looking at him.

Someone cleared their throat nearby and he glanced over to find his father’s disapproving frown aimed at him. It didn’t matter that Eli was a grown man. He was unmarried and still living in his father’s household. Trying to refocus his thoughts, Eli joined in with the slow harmony, the words returning to his memory like a dear old friend.

Almost immediately, the bishop and deacon stood, then disappeared into the tack room to hold the Abrot , a leadership council meeting to discuss church business. While they were gone, the congregation kept singing, with no musical accompaniment. Eli stared at the closed door, trying to clear his mind and relax. Forcing himself not to look at Lizzie again. Attempting to push her from his mind. But it did no good. Again and again, he glanced her way, his thoughts returning to her wounded gaze. She’d made her position perfectly clear when the bishop had asked him to work on her farm. They needn’t discuss the matter further. And yet, Eli couldn’t fight the feeling that they still had unfinished business between them.