Leigh Bale - His Amish Choice

“You are truly all right?” Eli finally asked, peering at Lizzie’s forehead.

“ Ja , I’m fine,” she said, briefly touching the bandage as if it embarrassed her.

“I didn’t expect this.” He gestured toward the retreating men.

“Neither did I.” Her voice wobbled.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me working here?” he asked.

She glanced at him. “I don’t have much choice.”

True. With her daed in the hospital and the bishop’s stamp of approval, she would have to accept Eli’s aid.

“I never meant to hurt you, Lizzie. I know I left rather suddenly,” he said.

She snorted and stepped back in exasperation. “ Ja , you sure did.”

“I know I should have spoken to you about it first, but I feared you might tell my eldre or the bishop and they would have tried to make me stay.”

“ Ach , so you ran away. You took the coward’s route and fled.”

He stared in confusion. He’d been gone four years. Why was Lizzie still so angry at him?

“We were only fourteen when I first proposed to you,” he said. “I’m sure you agree that was way too young for marriage. When I left, neither of us was ready to start a familye . If only you had come and joined me.”

“To Denver?” she asked with incredulity.

He nodded.

“ Ne , I would never leave my people. You knew that.”

“But I had to go. I wanted a rumspringa .”

“So, nothing has changed. You still seek the world.” Her voice sounded bitter.

He snorted, feeling frustrated, but unwilling to explain about Shannon and all that he had recently lost. “Believe me, a lot has changed. I’m not the same person anymore.”

“And neither am I, Eli. You’re homesick for your familye , that’s all. But before long, you’ll get homesick for the world out there that you left behind. We don’t drive cars, use electricity, or swim the inner net. You’ll get tired of us and leave again.”

Swim the inner net?

He tilted his head in confusion, wondering what she meant. Then, he chuckled as he understood her words. “I think you mean surf the internet .”

She shrugged, her voice thick with conviction. “Whatever. We don’t do that. Pretty soon, you’ll become weary of our quaint, boring ways and leave again.”

Oh, that hurt. More than he could say. Never had he considered his Amish people to be quaint or boring. In fact, quite the opposite. The science of farming tantalized his intellect. The hard work and life here was definitely far from mundane. It was always a challenge to fight the weather, improve their machinery and produce a better crop...especially in Colorado. He also loved the solitude of fertile fields and the camaraderie of belonging to the Gmay . He always had.

“ Ne , I’m here to stay, Lizzie-bee.” But his words lacked the conviction hers had held. After all, his memories of Shannon were in Denver. When she’d died, he’d wanted to leave, but now he missed going to their old haunts where they’d fallen in love. He missed her.

“Don’t call me that.” Her lips pursed with disapproval and tears shimmered in her eyes.

Lizzie-bee.

He held perfectly still, wishing he hadn’t used his old pet name for her. It had slipped out. How he wished he could go back in time and mend the rift between them. That they could be friends again. He could use the comfort of a good friend to help him deal with his broken heart, still full of love for Shannon.

“For the help you will give, you are welcome here on our farm, Eli Stoltzfus, but don’t expect anything else. I don’t trust you anymore and that’s that.” She whirled around and headed toward the house, plodding over the wide furrows of alfalfa with singular purpose.

I don’t trust you anymore.

Her words rang in his ears like the tolling of a bell. He watched her go, his heart plummeting. More than anything, he longed for a friend to confide in. Someone to talk with about Shannon and his loss. But it obviously wouldn’t be Lizzie. Not only had he lost her friendship, but he’d also lost her confidence and there was no going back.

Chapter Two

“I like Eli. He’s so nice,” Annie said later that night.

Lizzie jerked, her fingers losing their grasp on the tiny rubber band she was using to tie off the end of Annie’s braided hair.

The little girls had both had their baths and Lizzie was finishing their hair before going to bed. Each child sat on the wooden bench in the kitchen, the gas lamp above the table shining down upon their heads. Their bare feet peeked out from beneath the hems of their simple flannel nightgowns. The air carried a slight fruity smell from the detangler she’d used on their hair to get the snarls out.

“Eli is nice, but you can’t like him,” Marty said. She tugged the comb through a particularly stubborn knot in her own damp hair.

“Why not?” Annie asked, her forehead crinkled in a frown.

“Because he hurt Lizzie’s feelings, that’s why.”

Both girls turned and looked at Lizzie, as if waiting for a confirmation.

“Of course you can like him.” Lizzie laughed it off, not wanting to explain how much she’d loved the man and how he’d broken her heart. Everyone in the Gmay had known they’d been going together and planned to marry one day.

“We can? You’re okay with it?” Marty asked.

“ Ja , it’s not our place to judge,” Lizzie reiterated, trying to believe her own words.

“But you were gonna get married to him. Emily Hostetler said he left you to become an Englischer instead,” Marty said.

“You were gonna marry Eli?” Annie asked.

Lizzie inhaled a sharp breath and held it for several moments before letting it go. Hearing Eli’s betrayal put so bluntly made her mind scatter and she had to regather her thoughts before responding. As he had pointed out, they’d only been fourteen when he’d proposed. Way too young to marry. Because they’d been so young, he hadn’t taken it seriously, but Lizzie had. When he left, they were seventeen and she’d thought they would wed the following year. It’s what they had talked about. But he’d obviously changed his mind—and hadn’t felt the need to tell her.

“That was a long time ago. It was Eli’s choice to leave. When the time comes, we each must make that decision for ourselves, but I dearly hope both of you will stay.” She placed Annie’s kapp on her head, then hugged the girl tight.

“I’ll never leave,” Marty said.

When Lizzie released her, Annie stood, her inquisitive gaze resting on Lizzie. “Is that true, Lizzie -bee ? Eli really left you to become Englisch ?”

Lizzie-bee. The nickname Eli had given her when she’d been barely thirteen years old because he thought she was always as busy as a bee. Back then, Lizzie had loved Eli to call her that name. Now, it was a reminder of all that she’d lost.

“Where did you hear that name?” Lizzie asked a bit too brusquely.

“It’s what Eli called you when he came into the house to take Fannie home after she bottled our applesauce. You were upstairs,” Annie said.

Fannie was Eli’s mother and a dear friend. She was as generous as the day was long. It had hurt her deeply when Eli left.

Lizzie sat very still, looking at her two sisters. Marty had been six when Eli had left, so she undoubtedly remembered him. Annie had been only three. Lizzie didn’t want to discuss what had happened, but neither would she lie. Nor did she have a right to speak ill of Eli.

“Is it true?” the girl persisted.

“ Ja , it’s true,” she said, tucking an errant strand of hair beneath Annie’s kapp .