Lois Richer - Rocky Mountain Daddy

I wish I’d eaten my pride ages ago, but now it’s too late. I’m too ill to come and find you. I’m in hospice and there are days I can hardly lift my head. I can barely hug Eli, so I tell him that I love him and that one day you’ll come for him. I don’t know where you are, Gabe, but I pray that somehow God will bring you and our child together. God is my best friend now. You’re the one who first introduced us, remember? My favorite Bible verse is, “He hath made everything beautiful in His time.” God will do that with you and Eli, I know it. Forget about me and how I ruined things between us and concentrate on this wonderful little boy who needs your love so badly. He needs a dad, too, and I know you’ll be a great father. Love him, Gabe.

While I’ve been ill I had to let my sister care for Eli, but please don’t leave our son with Kathy. He has a tender soul and she’ll crush him, just as she did me at that age. Contact the lawyer on the card I’ve included. On my death you’ll receive permanent custody of Eli. I so wish I would have told you this in person, but since I can’t, this is from my heart. Please, I beg you, love our son. Even if you never forgive me, Gabe, love Eli. He desperately needs you.

Eve

Sitting on his bed in his bunkhouse that evening, Gabe reread Eve’s letter several times. Every time he did, the knot of bitterness inside him wound tighter. Simple for Eve to say she was sorry. She was gone. She didn’t have to face him; she’d never answer for what she’d done. But he’d lost almost six years of his son’s life, six years when he could have watched Eli learn to walk, to talk, call him Daddy, share baby kisses and birthdays.

Forget the past. Focus on Eli, his logical brain ordered . Probably good advice, but Gabe doubted he could ever forget or forgive Eve for what she’d done.

So now what?

Lips pursed, he folded Eve’s letter and slid it back into its envelope. He selected a new envelope and wrote Kathy’s address on it. He filled out a check, signed it and slid it inside. Then he added a note. Use this for whatever you need . A father should be responsible for his kid’s expenses. Better late than never. He sealed the envelope and set it on a shelf, ready to mail.

Eve’s letter went into a small bronze box with a lid that Gabe snapped shut before shoving it into a drawer. Though the letter was hidden from his sight, it felt vividly alive in his seething brain.

Head and heart aching, Gabe went outside and sank onto the step, peering into the half-lit sky. Summer nights in the mountains never really got dark. Sunset and sunrise would meet soon. What would tomorrow hold?

“I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an unexpected end.” That verse had been Gabe’s life’s motto for years.

You’ve known about all of this for a long time, Lord. But I’m stunned, he prayed silently. I’ve tried to follow You as best I can, but—a son? I never imagined—show me the best way to win his heart. Show me how to be Eli’s father, Lord.

Gabe prayed until there were no more words left. But nervous worry, concern that he’d mess up and perhaps hurt this little boy he didn’t even know, plus uncertainty about his suddenly shifting world, did not abate.

His pastor’s Sunday-morning sermons last winter had been all about trusting God. Gabe had been so certain he’d been doing that. But Eli’s appearance today had rocked his world and shaken his faith. Almost six years—why had Eve done it? But more importantly, why had God let her? How could he trust God now?

Because a sense of futility hung over him, Gabe shifted his thoughts toward practicalities. How would he know what kind of a place to get for Eli?

Olivia’s image flickered through his brain. She didn’t seem to hesitate when making decisions. Maybe he could lean on her, let her take the lead in this house-hunting business. After all, she’d grown up at The Haven, certainly the best home in the area. She’d know all the things a good home should have.

The knot inside Gabe eased. Yeah, he’d follow Olivia’s lead. Could it be that’s why God had brought her back at this particular time? To be a friend? To help him?

Startled by awareness that he was allowing a pretty woman he barely knew to become so involved in his personal life, in direct opposition to everything he’d resolved after Eve’s departure and in the years since, Gabe’s brain whirled. He’d take Olivia’s help, he decided, but he would not allow anything more than friendship between them, because though she was very attractive, romance wasn’t for him. Never again would he let himself be that vulnerable.

When he finally retired, sleep was elusive because Gabe knew that no matter how great Olivia was at organizing things, the fact remained that Eli was not a ranch kid. He’d even shied away from Spot and Dot, the Spenser sisters’ mild-tempered dogs. What would happen when the kid met a horse?

Horses were Gabe’s world.

Were. But now he had a son. With whom he had nothing in common.

* * *

“This could be doable.” The following day Gabe tilted back on his cowboy boot heels, surveyed the interior of the tiny rental house he’d been told about and gulped.

“You’re kidding, right?” Olivia bristled with indignation. “You and Eli would have no time to spend together because you’d be constantly repairing something.”

“It’s a rental, Olivia,” he muttered. “ They’re supposed to look after all the maintenance.”

“Looks like they’re doing a bang-up job,” she muttered in disgust, flicking a finger against the peeling countertop, nudging a toe against a loose floorboard and obviously struggling not to inhale the overwhelming odor of too many cats. “Come on, Eli. Let’s get out of here,” she muttered, and headed out the door, stumbling on the faulty step.

Gabe steadied her before following to stand beside her in the long grass outside, next to Eli, who studied the tilted bilious green house with disapproval.

“That house stinks,” his son said, the first words he’d spoken since he’d climbed into Gabe’s truck after lunch.

“We’ll clean it out,” Gabe assured him, striving for a positive tone.

“Not without removing the carpets, curtains and wallpaper, which is what I like to call a gut job.” Obviously repelled, Olivia strode toward the truck. “Moving on.”

So they did move on. And again, several times. After the fourth house, Gabe began to lose hope in his wobbly dream of a home for his son. Olivia found problems with every single rental they viewed. Not that the problems weren’t there. They were, and Gabe knew it. But he had to find a place if he was going to keep Eli with him, if he was going to be a real father.

“Can we stop for coffee, please?” Olivia licked her lips. “I need a break.”

“Sure.” Gabe pulled up in front of the local diner, shoved the gearshift into Park and climbed out. He reached to help Eli, but the boy veered away from him and exited on Olivia’s side. It was one of several signs that Gabe interpreted to mean his son was upset with him, though he couldn’t figure out exactly why that should be.

Inside Olivia chose the best booth in the place, halfway between the entrance and the kitchen with a street view. It was like her to have automatically selected the best one, Gabe thought. She seemed to possess an inner ability that almost unconsciously prioritized every decision she made. Maybe it came from her years of working for the military.

He paused to admire her in the stream of sunshine. She looked lovely. Efficiently lovely, he corrected. Her navy slacks and coordinating navy-and-white sweater set were perfect for an afternoon of house hunting. Businesslike casual, Gabe would have termed it.