Lois Richer - Rocky Mountain Daddy

“It’s not an aversion. How could anyone have an aversion to this sweetheart?” Heart aching, Olivia smiled at Grace and then sighed, knowing she wasn’t fooling Victoria. “It’s pure fear and you know it. I’m terrified to be responsible for any kid.”

“Because of what happened years ago when you babysat in those foster homes.” Victoria covered Olivia’s hand. “Sweetie, the kid that died in the fire—you were too young to be looking after anybody back then, and his death was an accident. The child that drowned—that didn’t happen because of anything you did, either.”

Vic had pried the truth of Olivia’s ugly past out of her when they were fourteen.

“But I was in charge—”

“The point is, you shouldn’t have been, Liv. The authorities even said so. You were a strong, competent and responsible kid, yes, but you weren’t the adult in that home. Those parents were wrong to blame you. They should have been watching their kid and you and the pool. It wasn’t fair to expect you to be in charge. The fire was an accident and it was not your fault.” Vic patted her shoulder.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t change anything inside my head, Vic. Caring for kids, being responsible for them still terrifies me.” Olivia rose, uneasy with those awful memories and unwilling to revisit them. “It’s just the way I am. Sorry.” She made a face at Grace, who only giggled.

“But to keep avoiding children means this fear robs you... Livvie, don’t you want to have your own children someday?”

“No!” Seeing that her sharp response had drawn frowns from the kids, Olivia smiled at them reassuringly before resuming her seat. She wasn’t going to tell Vic about Martin or that she’d given up on marriage because he’d pretended he wanted to marry her even though he was already married to and living with someone else. Betrayer. “I just want to start my new job, prove myself and earn the things I’ve never had.”

“Things are worth more than family?” Vic sounded disapproving.

“No, and it’s not a competition. It’s just—it’s best for me.” She shrugged, relieved to see Gabe emerge from the woods, though he wasn’t alone. “Looks like he found some stragglers,” she mused.

“Those two again.” Victoria stood, her lips pressed tight together. “That pair has caused more than enough problems today.”

“I doubt they’ve done anything as bad as what we did at that summer camp, before the aunties brought us here,” Olivia reminded. “We four girls terrorized everyone.”

“True. Think this is my payback?” With Grace in her arms, Victoria straightened her shoulders before striding forward to meet the threesome. She listened to what Gabe said, shook her head at the pair and ushered them to the meadow where they were supposed to be learning to rock climb with their group.

Olivia watched it play out, marveling at her sister’s ease in handling these troubled youth. Judging by the slump of their shoulders as they walked down the path with her, the two had been strongly chastised.

“Vic’s good at this job, isn’t she?” Olivia murmured, her gaze now focused on Gabe. His attention seemed riveted on his son.

“Vic’s like your aunts. A dragon lady lives under that big generous smile of hers.” Gabe glanced at her, then back to Eli. “Any trouble?”

“With Francie and Franklyn in charge?” She rolled her eyes. “Not yet, but there will be. Did you read your letter?”

“Didn’t get a chance before I found those two.”

“What are you going to do about Eli?” Olivia was curious to hear his plans.

“Ask the aunts if he can stay here, I guess.” He shrugged at her surprise. “I live in a bunkhouse, Olivia. There’s barely room to turn around let alone fit in a kid. It never mattered before, but—”

“It does now. You need to start looking for a home.” She could see the idea surprised him. “He’s a little boy, Gabe. He’s been pulled from the only place he knew. He needs his own home. With his father.”

“What kind of a home?” He shrugged at her confused look. “I’m clueless. I’ve been saving for my own spread for years, but—”

“Buy it,” she interrupted.

“Can’t. I’ve never found what I want. But even if I had, I have to consider...things.”

“Such as?” Why did she feel he was hesitating?

“Such as—it might be dangerous for a kid from the city to live on a ranch. Maybe a temporary place in town is better.” Gabe’s suddenly narrowed stare made Olivia uncomfortable. “You wouldn’t have time to help me look, would you?”

“Me?” Olivia blinked. “What do I know about finding a home for a little boy?”

“Probably more than me. It doesn’t have to be right away,” Gabe quickly added. “Eli could stay here for a while. Your aunts wouldn’t mind. In fact, it might be better if he settled in here.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” Olivia wasn’t sure why it felt so important to get Eli into a home of his own with his father. Maybe it was because she’d sensed an inner angst in the child. Or maybe it was because at Eli’s age she’d always longed to belong to someone. Or maybe it was Gabe himself.

Granted, she didn’t know him well, but she’d always thought him too easygoing, too laid-back, too prepared to wait for things instead of making them happen, like staying in a bunkhouse instead of getting the spread he obviously wanted.

Kathy had said Eli was almost six. Hadn’t father and son waited long enough?

“Why wouldn’t it be good for him to stay here long-term?” Gabe frowned at her.

“Because though he’s welcome, Eli’s a visitor here. Kids need a place where they feel secure. Being shunted around, not having a permanent parent in his life, nothing to call his own—that’s no way to start off your life together. That boy needs a home of his own, with you, his dad. Pronto.”

“Strong feelings much?” Gabe’s blue eyes twinkled. “So, you’re offering to help?”

She’d fallen right into that. Olivia sighed.

“Fine. I’ll help you look for a place to live, Gabe. But that’s all. I won’t help you decorate it or buy furniture for it or any of that stuff.” As if she had any clue as to how to make a house into a home for a cowboy and a kid. Organizing systems, creating efficiency, that was her specialty. Not helping somebody belong.

“Okay,” the big cowboy agreed easily. “I can always ask salesclerks about furniture.”

Oh, brother.

“This home is for you and Eli. You should make the decisions about it together. You do know I’m leaving soon, probably next week, but for sure no later than the end of June.”

“When do you want to start looking? Tomorrow?” And she’d thought Gabe laid-back. “I’m off in the afternoon.” He looked very eager now.

After her first glance at Eli, Olivia had wanted to help him. But she didn’t do kids. Fear of the past happening again, of being responsible and failing, kept her from interacting with her own nieces and nephews. What was so different about Eli that he made her feel he needed her?

Olivia exhaled. She had no idea why this child tugged at her heart. All she knew was that she had to do what she could. And the sooner she helped Eli, the sooner she’d feel okay about leaving The Haven to get on with building her future. Alone. As usual.

Helping Gabe had nothing to do with it.

“Tomorrow afternoon is good,” she agreed.

* * *

Gabe,

First, I apologize. I should have told you about Eli years ago. But you had your dad and your ranch. Eli was all I had. I guess I wanted to punish you for not making me stay with you, so I kept the two of you apart. That was stupid and selfish. All I did was cheat my son of knowing his father, someone he’s asked about since he first learned to speak. I cheated you of knowing him, too, and I’m so sorry. He’s a wonderful boy, Gabe. So curious, so generous. His heart is so tender. Now he’s hurting, worried that I’m dying, and he’ll be left all alone.