Justine Davis - Operation Unleashed

“His choices led to everything that happened. Can’t you see—”

He cut himself off when he realized he was just repeating the exact words that had started this whole thing this morning. Just like that they were back in that circular rut. He determined to make her see, and she determined to hang on to her rose-tinted memories.

And the way things were going, they could well spend the rest of their lives there, endlessly circling.

He was going to lose her. He could feel it. What they had was a facade, a construct that had served a purpose that was now accomplished, and should be demolished before it collapsed under its own weight.

They weren’t just circling each other, they were circling the drain.

Chapter 4

“Please, Mom?”

Luke’s voice had taken on the wheedling tone that made Alyssa laugh but drove Drew nuts. But he didn’t react. He knew it was because it reminded him of Doug, who had had that perfected at Luke’s age. He hated to think there was anything of Doug in this boy he thought of as his son, although he knew there likely was. It was bad enough that he looked so much like him, but any hint that he’d inherited other things worried him.

But now he made himself chalk it up to typical six-year-old behavior and not a sign of hereditary, blatant self-absorption. And he told himself the actions of a six-year-old were not a predictor of the man Luke would become.

But he had less luck telling himself that the very thing that irritated him about that tone was what made Alyssa laugh; it reminded her of the man she’d loved. Still loved. Didn’t the fact that she still wore that damned necklace that Doug had given her prove that?

“Dad? Can I?”

“Not by yourself, if that’s what you mean,” he said.

“I should say not, young man,” Alyssa said, her tone so heartfelt in its agreement that Drew felt his irritation ebb away. Luke was just a six-year-old boy who wanted something, not a fledgling narcissist.

“Well, you could come,” Luke said. “We can even walk on the sidewalk if you want,” he added generously.

“Well, now, there’s a selling point,” Drew said drily.

Alyssa laughed. She did so easily now, and Drew caught himself again remembering the days when she had been too ill, and too frightened for herself and her son to laugh at all.

Seems like we switched places, he thought. She’d blossomed, while he’d...retreated. He supposed he should be thankful she wasn’t the nudging, prying sort, or he’d lash out even more; a public display of his private pain wasn’t in his nature. Or hadn’t been, until lately.

Of course, maybe she wasn’t the nudging, prying sort because she didn’t care. She might appreciate him—yeah, he hated the word all right—but that didn’t mean she felt anything more.

“Please? He might be there already.”

Drew snapped himself out of his useless reverie. “Or he might not be at all,” he warned.

“He will be. I just know it.”

It wasn’t what he’d planned on doing this Saturday morning, but Drew found himself assenting anyway. He didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been peaceful, relatively, even pleasant for the last week, but they’d been kind of walking on eggshells, too.

“All right. I’ll go with you.”

He felt rather than saw Alyssa’s startled glance. Usually she was the one to give in first.

Luke crowed. “Yahoo!”

“But you’re still restricted,” Drew warned. “You stay in sight at all times, no running off on your own.”

Usually Alyssa thought his penalties a bit too strict, but she had no quibble with this one. Which told him how scared she’d been last week. She’d already been on edge, thinking somebody had been watching her. And Luke taking off had been the tipping point.

“Go get your duck boots on, a sweater, and your blue jacket,” she instructed.

The boy grimaced, but was wise enough even at six not to push his luck. He darted up the stairs.

“I can go with him,” she said when he was out of earshot.

“I think we both should,” he said.

Her brow furrowed. He frowned; was just the idea of a walk with him so bad?

“I’m sure you have other things to do,” she said.

Was there annoyance in her voice, or was he imagining it? There had been a time when he’d been able to read her better. But she wasn’t the same foolish girl she’d been when she’d run off with Doug at seventeen, believing they were eloping, only to find he had no intention of marrying her. Not even—or rather especially—when she’d gotten pregnant.

Nor was she the same shattered woman he’d found two years after Doug’s death, alone, in a hospital and seriously ill, and unable to care for herself or her toddler son. Alyssa had been a broken woman. And the nephew he’d never even met was in the custody of Child Protective Services.

No, she’d healed, gradually, gotten stronger. And she’d grown up. Rather quickly, once she saw the chance to get her son back. Then she’d sacrificed everything to keep Luke safe and happy.

She’d even married him.

She was staring at him now. “Two sets of eyes to keep on him,” he said.

“You don’t think he’ll run away again?” Anxiety spiked in her voice.

He hadn’t meant to do that. “No. But it can’t hurt, can it?”

He wanted to ask if the idea of a walk with him was that horrible, but he didn’t want to hear the answer so he kept quiet.

“No. It’s a good idea. If he sees us going together, maybe he’ll think—”

She broke off suddenly, as if she’d realized what her next words would have sounded like.

Drew didn’t need to hear them to know what she’d been going to say. Maybe Luke will think we’re okay, that we’re a real family, that the only parents he’d really known were really together.

When in reality they were anything but.

Without a word, he walked over to the coatrack by the door and grabbed his rain jacket. He took Alyssa’s down as well and held it for her as she slid her arms in. A nice, husbandly gesture.

Right.

He knew too well he would never be able to make Alyssa happy, not in the way Doug had. No amount of telling himself it had only been teenage infatuation could change that.

They walked, slowly since the rain had for the moment lightened to more of a heavy mist. He wished he could kid himself that they were a normal, ordinary, happy family out for a Saturday morning walk. But his own actions, calling out to Luke to remind him to stay in sight, were a reminder they were not. As was his wife’s nervous edginess, the way she keep looking around, over her shoulder, as if she expected something or someone to jump out at her.

She must still be having that feeling of being watched. He didn’t sense anything, but he wasn’t sure he would. He was just a guy who went to work every day and tried to keep things together. Alyssa had the imagination in the family. Maybe that’s what had drawn her to Doug, who had always been full of wild, impossible plans.

But he didn’t discount her feeling. Because he knew something she didn’t yet, because he’d only found out the week before Luke vanished. He hadn’t been sure how to tell her, had been working up to it, and then the whole thing with Luke had happened, and even though that had turned out fine, she was still shaken. So he’d held off telling her what he’d learned. But he’d renewed the vow he’d made on the day she’d agreed to his plan. He would keep both her and Luke safe. And he would. No matter what.

* * *

“He is here!”

“Yes, it seems he is,” Alyssa said to her delighted son. “How did you know?”

Luke slid her a sideways look. “He told me.”

“Who told you?”

“Cutter.”