Cathy Glass - Can I Let You Go?

‘Are you packed and ready?’ I asked as we went in. I closed the door.

‘Yes.’

‘Bring them in here!’ Wilma called from the living room.

‘Whoops,’ Faye said, smiling as she realized this was what she was supposed to do.

‘No worries,’ I said.

We followed her into the living room where Wilma was sitting on the sofa exactly as I’d left her three days earlier. Stan was getting to his feet, using his stick for support.

‘These are my daughters, Lucy and Paula,’ I said to them both.

‘Hello,’ Wilma said, running her eyes over them. I wondered if she disapproved of what they were wearing. They were dressed fashionably but tastefully, although very differently to the way she dressed Faye.

‘Nice to meet you, ladies,’ Stan said to the girls, propping himself on his walking stick. They smiled back.

‘And you,’ Paula said politely.

‘Faye is packed, her bags are in her room,’ Wilma said matter-of-factly. ‘We’re seeing her Tuesday? Becky said to check with you first, but she felt Faye should be with you all day tomorrow to settle in.’

‘Yes, Tuesday is fine with me,’ I said. ‘What time?’

‘Becky said between eleven o’clock and three. You’ll come with Faye on the bus to begin with?’

‘Yes, and then I’ll return at three o’clock to bring her home. It’s only one bus – number forty-seven. She’ll soon get used to it.’ I smiled at Faye.

‘After she’s done the journey with you three or four times she should be all right by herself,’ Wilma said.

‘OK.’ Obviously it would have been easier for me to take and collect Faye in my car, but that wouldn’t have helped her independence.

‘Fetch your things then,’ Wilma said to Faye.

‘Shall we come and help?’ Lucy asked, stepping forward.

‘Yes, please,’ I said. ‘And don’t forget Snuggles,’ I called after them.

‘As if she would!’ Stan said indulgently. ‘He’s been sitting on top of her case all morning.’

I smiled. ‘And her maternity folder and mobile phone are packed?’ I asked.

‘Yes, they’re in the case,’ Wilma confirmed.

The girls returned almost immediately from Faye’s bedroom. Lucy was carrying a suitcase, Paula a shoulder bag and Faye Snuggles.

‘Is that everything?’ I asked, surprised.

‘Yes,’ Wilma said. ‘She can always collect some more clothes if she needs to when she visits.’ Which was true. ‘Although she hasn’t got that much that fits her now. She’s been wearing my clothes, but I need them here.’

I guessed money was tight living on state benefits, and Wilma didn’t strike me as the sort of person who would spend money on maternity wear that would only be worn for a few months.

‘I was thinking of taking Faye shopping for some maternity clothes, if that’s all right with you?’ I asked diplomatically. ‘As you know, I receive an allowance while Faye is with me.’

Wilma nodded.

‘That would be good,’ Stan said. ‘We’ve told Faye that staying with you is like going on holiday, so those can be her new holiday clothes.’ Which was a quaint way of putting it.

‘Good. I’ll take her shopping for some new outfits then,’ I said. ‘See you on Tuesday. Would you like Faye to telephone you this evening?’

‘Only if she wants to,’ Stan said. ‘She sees more than enough of us.’

I smiled. ‘But do phone us if you want to chat. You have my phone numbers?’

‘Yes, Becky gave them to us,’ Wilma confirmed.

We all said goodbye, and Wilma stayed where she was on the sofa while Stan came with us.

‘Faye, aren’t you going to kiss me goodbye?’ Wilma called after her.

Faye stopped in the hall, looked at us and chuckled. ‘Oh dear,’ she said, clamping her hand over her mouth. ‘I nearly forgot!’

The girls and I laughed too, while Stan tutted fondly. Faye clearly had a sense of humour and now that she was more relaxed around us it was starting to come out.

‘She’d forget her head if it wasn’t screwed on,’ Stan said affectionately as Faye returned to the living room to kiss her gran goodbye. ‘But she’s a good, kind kid. She wouldn’t hurt a fly. We’re going to miss her.’

‘I’m sure you will,’ I said. ‘But it’s not for long and I’ll look after her.’

‘Thank you,’ he said gratefully. I thought that Stan felt a lot more than he showed.

Faye returned from the living room and hugged her grandpa goodbye. ‘Look after yourself and enjoy your time at Cathy’s,’ he said to her.

‘I’m going on holiday,’ she replied happily. ‘Say goodbye to Snuggles, Grandpa.’

‘Bye, Snuggles. Behave yourself,’ Stan said. It was lovely the way he accepted her for who she was.

Leaning on his stick for support, he opened the front door and then took a couple of steps out of the flat. He stood in the corridor and watched us walk to the elevator, then called goodbye and returned indoors. It was clearly an effort for him to walk and his left side was still weak from the stroke.

‘Is your house a long way away?’ Faye asked as we waited for the elevator.

‘No, not far. About a twenty-minute drive,’ I said. I’d mentioned this at my previous visit, but she must have forgotten or not understood.

‘I have a watch!’ she announced and drew up her left sleeve so we could see her wrist watch.

‘Excellent,’ I said. ‘That’s good. I can show you how long it is to my house.’ It’s so much easier to explain time with the aid of an analogue watch or clock. I always make sure the children I foster have one.

‘Which is the minute hand, do you know?’ I asked her.

‘Yes, the big hand,’ she said.

‘That’s right. It’s pointing to five now so in twenty minutes it will be there, on the nine. Do you know what the time will be then?’

She studied her watch for a moment and then said, ‘Quarter to three.’

‘Well done. So twenty minutes isn’t long; it’s from there to there,’ I said, showing her on the watch.

‘It’s not long,’ she told Lucy and Paula, and they smiled.

The elevator doors opened and we got in. ‘The lift smells,’ Faye announced, sniffing the air.

‘Yes, it’s disinfectant,’ I said. ‘I think it’s just been cleaned.’

‘Gran says some naughty people use it as a toilet late at night,’ Faye said.

‘Urgh gross!’ Lucy exclaimed, horrified, and peered down at the floor.

Faye looked bemused and a little alarmed at Lucy’s outburst. ‘What does gross mean?’ she asked me.

‘Dirty, not nice,’ I said.

As the elevator descended I saw Faye eyeing Lucy and Paula curiously and I wondered how much contact she normally had with young people. From what I’d learnt so far she seemed to spend most of her time with her grandparents, apart from two days a week when she went to the stables and the day centre. The elevator stopped, the doors opened and a middle-aged couple who knew Faye were waiting for the elevator. They smiled and said hello to her.

‘I’m going away but I’m coming back,’ she told them.

‘I know,’ the woman said kindly. ‘Your gran said. See you soon.’

We crossed to the car where Lucy and Paula loaded Faye’s suitcase and shoulder bag into the boot. I asked Faye if she would like to sit with me in the front, or in the rear. She wanted to sit in the rear so Paula sat with her, as it was Lucy’s turn to sit in the passenger seat. Despite their ages, my children still coveted the front seat, just as they had done when they were younger, and took turns to sit there, unless Adrian was with us, when it was his seat, as he needed the extra leg-room.

‘Five minutes has passed,’ Faye announced, looking at her watch as I started the engine.