Joan Wolf - His Lordship's Desire

Diana had not exactly been brought up at Standish Court, but no one corrected her.

“So you will give the Sherwoods vouchers to Almack’s, Sally?” Lady Standish asked.

“I could hardly refuse you, Amelia, now could I? We have been friends for too long. Yes, I will give the Sherwoods vouchers for Almack’s.”

Lady Standish was jubilant as they got into the coach outside Lady Jersey’s house. “You probably don’t appreciate how important this is, Diana, but it is tremendously important. Once you have been given the approval of the patronesses of Almack’s, then all of society is open to you.”

“It will be such fun, Diana,” Sally enthused.

“Yes,” Diana said. “I’m sure it will be.” But she wasn’t sure at all anymore.

The ladies stopped at Hookam’s Library to pick up some books to read before they returned to Grosvenor Square. Diana immediately went up to her room, looked around for her dog and remembered that he had been left at home. She went to the chair by the fireplace, sat down and cried.

“Oh, Freddie, how could I have left you at home? I miss you so much.” Diana’s spaniel had been the runt of the litter, and the earl had given him to her when nobody else wanted him.

But everyone had told her that he would be better in the country, that there was no place for him to run free in London, that she would be too busy to even miss him.

But she did miss him. She needed him now, needed his unconditional, adoring love. “No one will ever love me like you do, Freddie,” she sniffled into her handkerchief.

I wish we were all young again. I wish it was like it was before Alex left to go into the army. I was so happy then. Will I ever be happy like that again?

It seemed to her that she had never truly been happy since Alex had left; but now that he was back, she felt even worse, knowing that she could never be that way with him again.

I have to put Alex behind me, she thought. I have to look ahead. Surely there is some man who can make me happy, who will be able to give me the stable home that I need so badly.

A knock came upon her door. “Diana?” Sally’s voice called. “May I come in?”

“Just a moment,” Diana said, as she scrubbed at the tears on her face. She took a deep breath before she bade her friend to enter her room.

At dinner that evening, Alex said, “Would you like to take the horses for a gallop in the park tomorrow morning, Dee?”

Her whole face lit up. “I should love to.”

“What horse will you be riding?” Mrs. Sherwood asked a little nervously.

“Monty,” Diana said.

Mrs. Sherwood looked at Alex. “Has Monty ever been out of the country? You have to walk through the streets of London before you get to the park.”

“I’ll look after Dee, Cousin Louisa,” Alex said.

“How about Bart?” Diana asked. “Is he accustomed to traffic?”

“Bart’s accustomed to bullets firing all around him,” Alex returned. “I think he can handle the London streets.”

Mrs. Sherwood looked worried, but she didn’t say anything else.

It was seven in the morning when Diana, dressed in her old riding habit, went out to the stables to meet Alex. He was wearing a russet-colored riding coat and brown leather breeches—country clothes. The air was cool, with a slight wind blowing. Their two horses were standing on the cobblestones of the stable yard, all saddled and ready to go.

Diana felt as if a weight had lifted from her chest. She was going to ride again. Everything always looked better to her from the back of a horse. She actually grinned at Alex. “I hope you know how to get to the park, because I certainly don’t.”

“I drove you there the other day, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, shall we get started?”

“I’ll give you a leg up,” he said, cupping his hands so she could put her foot into his gloved brace. In a moment she was in the sidesaddle, crooking her leg around the horn and gathering the reins into her competent hands.

It was a short walk from Grosvenor Square to the Cumberland Gate entrance to Hyde Park, but London was amazingly busy for such an early hour.

Wagons piled high with fruits and vegetables lumbered through town on their way to the Covent Garden market; fishmongers carried their purchases from the wharves to their various shops; and haunches of freshly slaughtered animals bled through the bottoms of wicker baskets as they were driven by cart to the butcher shops. The large number of people who lived in London had to be fed, and this was the hour at which their food was moved.

Monty sidled a little at all the traffic and threw his head about, but Diana spoke soothingly to him. He had been on the roads at home, of course, but not very frequently. Mostly Diana had ridden him through the many wide and well-kept rides that cut through Standish Park.

As they crossed the main street to get into the park, a particularly noisy wagon came along and Monty bucked in protest.

“Are you all right?” Alex asked as Diana urged Monty forward, away from the noise.

“We’re fine,” she answered calmly. “He’s just a bit worried by these new surroundings.”

They entered into the welcome greenness of the park and when they reached the path along the lake, Diana was delighted to see that it was empty.

“Marvelous,” she said. “No one’s here.”

“How about a good gallop to wake them up?” Alex asked.

She was gone before he finished his question.

He caught her up in a moment, and the two horses thundered along, side-by-side, under the greening oaks. To Diana, it felt glorious. The feel of Monty under her was so familiar, and it was familiar, too, to look out of the side of her eye and see Alex galloping beside her. They had always ridden out early; both of them liked the fresh morning air.

When Diana felt Monty start to slow, she sat back a little and let him come down to a canter. Alex did the same. From the canter they dropped to a trot, then to a walk. They looked at each other and smiled.

“That felt grand,” Diana said.

He nodded. “It’s been a long time since we rode together, Dee.”

Some of her good mood vanished. Whose fault was that? she thought.

Alex patted the neck of his big black horse. “Damn, but I love this horse,” he said.

Diana regarded Bart. “He’s splendid,” she agreed. “I imagine a cavalryman becomes very attached to his horse.”

“They can be the difference between life and death to a man sometimes.” His black hair had tumbled forward over his forehead and his light blue eyes were serious.

He looked the same as when he left, yet he also looked different. He was bigger now; his shoulders were wider, his chest broader and there were strong muscles under the tight-fitting riding breeches that he wore. He had gone away a boy and come back a man.

She heard herself saying, “I’m nervous about being introduced into London society.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he replied. “You’re under the wing of my mother. Everything should go very smoothly for you.”

She confided her deepest fear. “We’re going to Almack’s tonight. What if no one dances with me?”

“Don’t worry about that,” he assured her. “Haven’t men wanted to dance with you all your life?”

“But that was in the country, where people knew me.”

“Believe me, I don’t think you’ll have any problem, but if you do I’ll round up some men to dance with you. Don’t worry, you won’t be left sitting with the chaperones.”

She gave him a smile. “Thank you, Alex. It’s just…I never expected to feel so out of my depth.” Tears stung behind her eyes. “And I miss Freddie. I should never have left him home.”

“I can send for him if it’s that important to you.”