Shannon Farrington - Her Rebel Heart

As eager as she was to be safely inside, Julia was not ready to endure divided seating arrangements and political barricades. When she stepped into the sanctuary, however, only Reverend Perry was present.

“Thomas!” the man said, immediately coming up the aisle to greet her father. “And ladies…how good of you to come.”

“I had several visits to make this morning,” Dr. Stanton said. “I feared we would be the last to arrive.”

“On the contrary,” Reverend Perry said. “You are the first.”

Julia glanced around. Though grateful there were no icy glares or judgmental remarks, her heart still sank. Will we be the only ones? Isn’t there anyone else who will pray for this city? For our brave men?

She brushed away the discouraging thoughts and lifted her chin with determination. I will do so. I will pray for Edward and for Baltimore.

If Reverend Perry was disheartened by the lack of attendance, he did not reveal it. He quickly led Julia’s family to the front pew and started the service.

“Let’s begin with a hymn.”

Without the benefit of pipe organ or additional singers, the four of them joined in singing, “How Firm a Foundation.”

The meager voices barely filled the space between the walls but Julia reminded herself that where two or three were gathered, God himself was in attendance.

They finished the hymn and sat down.

Reverend Perry then prayed. He did exactly as he had done before, praying for the safety of the city and for the protection of all soldiers involved in the war. When he fell silent, Julia’s father carried on. With heartfelt sincerity he prayed for the congregation. He asked that they would be able to put their political differences aside in order to present the gospel of Christ.

Though he did not mention the man by name, Julia wondered if he was not thinking of Warren Meade. Her nerves bristled as she remembered his words. She stiffened even further when she thought of Samuel’s clear unwillingness to defend her brother’s good name.

Edward seeks to protect us from danger, from the tyranny of those Federal soldiers. Samuel would simply let them have their way.

Julia did not lift her voice in public but she did pray silently for Edward’s swift return. She then remembered the citizens who had been injured on Pratt Street.

And for them and their families, Lord…please comfort them. Please don’t let such a thing happen again!

She heard her mother’s voice. Somewhere near the end of the prayer, the back door opened. Footsteps quietly, rhythmically came down the aisle. They stopped midway. A pew then creaked.

Someone else has joined us! Oh thank You, Lord!

Her faith stirred and hope soared until she recognized the petitioner’s voice.

“Lord, Almighty, thank You for hearing our prayers…”

Samuel! She clenched the lace handkerchief in her lap. How dare he come!

Any spiritual comfort she had previously felt evaporated. All she could think of was the man sitting just a few rows back; the one who had promised to love and protect her, yet, hadn’t the courage to do so.

He is probably here to wish for Edward’s destruction, to condemn all those who support States’ Rights!

She was so busy imagining what he was praying for that she failed to hear what he was actually saying.

“My sins, Lord… Forgive me for my sins.”

Though Sam had intended on coming to this meeting to pray for Edward, he could not get past the need to confess his own faults to God. For too long he had simply gone about his life with his plans for the future, Julia, his teaching position, an honest but comfortable life here in Baltimore.

He had never once considered God may have other things in mind.

Frederick Douglass’s experiences flooded his thoughts.

The man in his autobiography had shown owners whipping and cursing their slaves while simultaneously quoting Scripture to them. He also told of plantation owners who bowed their heads each night at supper to thank God for their food only to then turn around and starve the very hands that had farmed it.

The former slave explained that he loved the Christianity that Christ had preached, the message of love, peace and purity. Yet, in America, Christ’s message had become polluted. Those who called themselves followers yet whipped women and stole babies from their mothers’ arms were corrupt and hypocritical.

Where am I in all of this? Sam wondered. What form of Christianity do I cling to?

Sam had never owned another human being. He had never beaten or cursed any man. He attended church each week, read his Bible daily. He prayed faithfully yet he couldn’t help but sense there was more to it.

Does Jesus expect more from His followers? Does His sacrificial love demand it?

Sam had always sought to live a life of peace, to show others the love of Christ.

…As ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me…

The Savior’s words pricked his heart. One of the least of these… who were the very least? Who did society, the law and government itself claim as the least?

Sam knew full well the answer to his own question.

Simply refusing to join those who supported slavery, or at the very least allowed it, was no longer enough. He knew that now. He would attend Dr. Carter’s meeting. He did not know what else may be involved but he sensed the Lord was urging him to find out.

“I will do Your will, Lord.”

And following God’s will, Sam realized, meant placing Julia in His hands. Sam could not continue to spend his strength worrying and planning how to win her back.

He had to focus on being obedient. He had to trust.

What was happening, Julia could not fully explain. The Reverend and even her own father were now in tears. A shiver ran through her for she could sense the Almighty’s presence in the place.

Oh, Lord, thank You for hearing our prayers. Thank You for what You will do here in this city.

After a few moments, eyes opened, heads raised. Reverend Perry concluded the meeting by extending an invitation.

“I ask you to join me tomorrow and each day thereafter at noon.”

Her father quickly said they would. When the Reverend looked to Samuel, Julia bristled.

He explained it was impossible to reach the church at noon but, “I will gladly give what time I can.”

Wonderful, Julia thought sarcastically. I suppose I will have to get used to him.

When the service was over her mother and father continued to speak with Reverend Perry. Julia waited a step away, discreetly eyeing Samuel from the safety of her lace trimmed bonnet.

He approached her slowly.

“I wanted to offer my apologies,” he said before she could speak first.

She was taken aback. “For?”

“For pressing you. For not honoring your wishes.”

His brown eyes were fixed on hers. Julia couldn’t help but think of the love that had filled them the night he’d asked for her hand, of the ardor with which he had kissed her.

Heat flooded her face. Her skin was tingling and her mind churning.

“It was wrong of me to visit the house and to sit in your family pew,” he said. “It will not happen again.”

She opened her fan, hoping her voice was smooth and calm. “Thank you, Samuel.”

“You are welcome. Good day, Julia.”

He turned and walked up the aisle, through the doors and out into the warm May sunshine.

After he had gone, her parents were ready to depart as well. Julia followed them to the carriage. A chill had now settled over her.

“Did you bring your sewing basket, dear?” her mother asked. “We can drop by Sally’s on the way home.”

“Oh,” Julia said absentmindedly. “No. I did not. I completely forgot about the sewing circle.”