Shannon Farrington - Her Rebel Heart

GODCOMFORTHER, Sam thought. He stole a glance at Julia’s face. Her head was bowed and she was clutching a lace handkerchief to her mouth. He could understand the pain she was feeling. Edward’s departure was bad enough but coupled with the way he had parted, the tension in the family that night, it only made things worse. Sam regretted every minute of their conversation.

Edward had been called to the armory during a dreadful thunderstorm. Little did Sam know Federal troops were in the process of occupying the city. When Edward returned home that night he announced the terrible news.

“The armory has been stripped,” he’d said, his face a mixture of wild emotions. “Any man who would take a gun and hide it was given one.”

I was angry that he had brought the muskets to the house. I know he only hoped to protect his family with them but I didn’t see it that way then. All I could think of was Federal soldiers tearing the house apart to find them. All I could think of was what they might do to her.

“Edward,” Sam had said, “the Northern troops will realize what has happened. They will search the houses. They will find the guns. If you hide them here you are putting your mother and sister at risk.”

“Then I’ll take the muskets with me. I’ll take them south, tonight.”

Everyone in the room realized what he had just said, though shock stole the words of objection from their lips. Only Julia had been able to find her voice.

“No, Edward! No! You can’t do such a thing!”

Her mother then also began to plead. “Son, please. Think about this. You don’t want to do this.”

“Yes, I do. I am going to personally see that the Federal Army is thrown out of Baltimore!”

He’d looked to Dr. Stanton. “It is our duty to protect our city, our state. Father, I know you can’t fight. Your leg would never allow it, so the duty is left to those who can.”

He then looked at Samuel. He’d held out a musket. “Come with me.”

Tossing the invading army out of the city for the sake of Julia’s safety so strongly appealed to Sam that he nearly reached for the gun, until he realized, defending States’ Rights meant defending them all.

“No,” Sam had said.

Edward lowered the musket with a look of shock on his face. “What did you say?”

The thoughts fired through his head. Protect her and freedom! Fight! It took everything Sam had within him to stand firm.

“I said no.”

A scowl crossed Edward’s face. “Not even now? You won’t fight, even now? You won’t defend the rights of your state?”

“By defending rights are you including slavery?”

“I’m not fighting for slaves one way or the other! Look man, a Federal battery has taken aim at our front door! If we don’t stand against such tyranny, who will?”

“I won’t go with you.”

“Then you are a coward.” Edward then turned to Julia. “You should give serious consideration to the kind of man you are marrying.”

Sam stared now at Julia’s ringless hand in his. Hers was so delicate, so fragile compared to his gnarled fingers. Lord, forgive me, I thought Edward was acting like a fool. We both just wanted to protect her. I understand why he felt the way he did.

He stroked her fingers, praying for reconciliation. After what had happened on Pratt Street every fiber, every nerve in Sam’s body pleaded for him to fight. It was not cowardice that kept him from doing so. It was the belief that God had chosen another path for him. I cannot condone slavery. If only Julia could realize that.

Sam had tried to explain it to her. When Edward had thumped up the staircase, muddy boots, muskets and all, Julia had turned her eyes to him. He saw the doubt in them, the fear. He knew Edward’s words carried great weight.

“Julia,” he said as he moved to embrace her, “You know I would give my life for you but this isn’t the way—”

“Go with him, Samuel. Please.”

Her request had shocked him. “Do you really want me to leave? Do you really know what war is?”

“No, of course not! I don’t want you to go! I don’t want any of you to go! I don’t want any of this to be happening!”

“Then think about what you are saying. We must stay together! We must convince Edward not to go south.”

“He won’t listen! He would rather die than dishonor his state! Samuel, please! Go with him. Only you can take care of him.”

“Julia, I can’t willingly support the position the South is taking. I can’t condone slavery.”

Pure confusion filled her eyes. “But we don’t even own slaves!”

“I can’t support a government which allows others to do so.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he realized how ridiculous they sounded. He had sealed his fate.

“You have supported one thus far!” she said, tears hardening into anger. “How many Maryland plantations on the eastern shore rely on slaves? You are using that as an excuse! I have never known you to march with the abolitionists! Edward is right! You are a coward!”

She ripped the engagement ring from her finger. “I will not marry you!”

Sitting beside her now, he continued to hold her hand as Reverend Perry prayed. Sam knew Julia had begged him to join Edward not because she wished for war but because she feared for her brother’s safety—and for their own. He had no quarrel with her brother. He would give anything to see their relationship restored, their family reunited.

Lord, I believe that slavery is wrong but my own state supports it! And what of Dr. Carter and his abolitionist friends? What if they are radicals? What if they advocate the methods of John Brown?

The newspapers had been full of stories just a few months ago concerning the raid on Harper’s Ferry. The town was held hostage. People were killed.

I don’t know which position is right or which side to be on. All I know is that I love her. Show me Your will…

If Reverend Perry had meant for his prayer to be a comfort, it had just the opposite effect. When the congregation was dismissed many of the women were in tears and the men were grumbling.

Julia was pale, pensive, lost in her own private world. Sam led her from the pew, her arm through his. The air inside the church was stifling and he worried that she might faint. He steered her to the door and down the front steps. A slight breeze wafted across the churchyard. Julia seemed glad for it. Her face pinkened.

The fact that she was allowing him to lead her was a good sign. Perhaps today we can iron out our differences. We can commit to navigating the unknown together.

Once outside, parishioners began conversing. Reverend Perry’s prayer was the subject of much of the discussion. Sam caught snatches of it as he walked Julia to the carriage.

“That man is riding the fence! Waiting to see which side prevails!”

“Praying for Lincoln! He should be praying for the souls of those on Federal Hill!”

Sam ignored their words. He waited as Dr. Stanton helped his wife inside the carriage. He studied Julia. She was still silent but her color was definitely improving with the fresh air. While they were waiting, Warren Meade, one of Dr. Stanton’s patients, approached them. Julia’s father had recently set his broken arm.

Sam nodded to the man and Dr. Stanton smiled when he saw him. “Warren, how’s your arm today?”

“Fine,” the man said gruffly.

“The pain is diminishing?”

“Yes, but I am not here to talk about that.”

“Oh?” said Dr. Stanton.

“I am here to tell you that I have found a new physician.”

Julia’s father blinked. “Is something wrong?”

The man was obviously angry and whatever the disagreement between patient and doctor, Sam thought it best to give them privacy. He helped Julia into the carriage. His back was to the ongoing discussion. Julia had just taken a seat when all of a sudden, Warren Meade said loud enough for everyone to hear,