Linda Warren - Always a Mother

She winced. “It’s going to be an ugly scene.”

“Yeah.” He kissed her deeply and she clung to him.

The March wind blew against them, but they kept holding on to each other. Holding on to the now, the present, their love. In the days to come their love would be tested, and neither knew if it would survive the pressures of the outside world.

A Week Later…

THEY SAT IN THE DOCTOR’S office waiting for the result of the pregnancy test. Dean had skipped basketball practice, and Claire loved him all the more for that. She couldn’t face this alone.

The nurse called them into a small room and they waited some more.

“Are you nervous?” Dean asked, clutching Claire’s hand.

“A little.”

“Me, too.”

The doctor came in with a folder and sat at his desk.

“Dr. Miller, this is Dean Rennels, my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, son.” They shook hands. “I’ve seen you play football. Very impressive.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I’m glad you’re with Claire today.” He glanced at the contents in the folder. “The test is positive. You’re pregnant—about two months. The baby should be born in late September.”

Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach and for a moment she couldn’t breathe. Dean turned a sickly white. The silence told its own story—two young people caught between love and reality, without a clue as to the difference.

Dr. Miller closed the folder. “I can see this is a shock. I always tell women they have three choices—abortion, adoption or acceptance. It’s your decision, Claire.”

Abortion! She couldn’t kill their baby. Nor could she give it up for adoption. That left acceptance. She swallowed hard, words congealing with the bile in her throat.

Dean stood. “We’re getting married, sir.”

“I see.” Dr. Miller looked at Claire. “Do your parents know this?”

“No, and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention it until I do.”

The doctor fidgeted. “My wife was here the day you came in for the test. When she saw your mom at the club, she casually mentioned she’d seen you. Dorian spoke out of turn and I’m sorry for that. I would never divulge your situation.”

“How could she?” The Millers and her parents belonged to the same country club. Claire had seen the doctor’s wife that day and never dreamed she’d say anything to her mother. That was three days ago and her mom hadn’t said a word. Why?

“Dorian just thought you were in for a checkup. I’m so sorry.”

Claire rose on shaky legs. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not going to remain a secret long.”

Once they were in the hall, she was shaking so violently that Dean pulled her into a small waiting area to sit down.

“Are you okay?”

She had to take several deep breaths. “What are we going to do?”

“Get married like we planned.”

“What about college?”

“We’ll manage.” He rubbed her arm and his touch instilled a sense of calm in her. “We’ll take one day at a time. I’ll get a marriage license as soon as possible.”

She blinked back a tear. Her parents had such dreams for their only child’s wedding. Through tears she looked at him. “If I didn’t love you so much, I’d hate you.”

He winced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan this, either.”

“I know.”

“I’m glad we’re keeping the baby,” he murmured.

“Could you live with yourself if we did anything different?”

“No.” His eyes caught hers. “We love each other. We’ll make it.”

“Do you believe love is enough?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Then I do, too.”

She placed her hand in his, along with her heart and her life. Together they walked out of the building. At her car he kissed her, and she knew they were going to be okay. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw her dad’s Lincoln.

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“There’s my dad.”

The car screeched to a stop a few feet from them. Both her parents got out.

“Get away from my daughter,” Robert Thornton shouted at Dean, his face red with anger.

Dean didn’t budge. “Claire and I are getting married.”

“Like hell.” Robert loosened his tie and jerked it off.

“Dad, please,” Claire begged. “We’re in love and…and I’m pregnant.”

Her mother, Gwen, gasped.

“You bastard. I’ll kill you for this.” Robert took a step toward Dean, but Gwen caught his arm. “Robert, watch your temper.”

Her father sucked in a breath. “Get in the car, Claire.”

“Dad…”

“Get in the car or I’m calling the cops and having this bastard arrested. Your choice.”

“Please, Claire, let’s go home,” her mother pleaded.

There was nothing Claire could do. For now she had to follow her parents’ instructions. She looked back at Dean’s shattered expression and her heart broke. Would she ever see him again?

In the Thornton Home…

CLAIRE SAT LISTENING to everything she’d done wrong. A numbness settled over her body—a numbness of her spirit and her soul.

She wanted Dean.

She needed Dean.

“How could you, Claire? How could you do this?” her mother asked. “You have your whole life ahead of you and now…” Gwen shook back her blond hair. “I’m just appalled at your blatant disobedience. That boy has been a bad influence on you. You never disobeyed us before you met him.”

“I love him.”

“At your age you don’t even know what love is.” Gwen’s voice rose in anger. “I don’t understand how you can be so smart and yet so dumb.”

Before she could respond, her father came back into the room. “It’s all set for first thing in the morning.”

“What’s all set?” Claire asked.

“I’ve made arrangements to have the baby aborted.”

She felt the blood drain from her face. “No!” she screamed.

“It’s for the best,” her mother said. “You can’t let this ruin your whole life. College is waiting for you. Later you can have all the children you want, and the wedding you’ve dreamed about. You’ll thank us then.”

Claire bit her lip to keep from screaming again and realized there was no point in talking to them. Their minds were made up. Slowly, she trudged upstairs. She curled up on her bed and cried for being so young and stupid.

And she cried for being in love.

After there were no tears left, she rallied her strength. No one was taking this baby from her. She phoned Dean.

“Claire, are you okay?”

“No. I have to get out of here. My father has made an appointment for an abortion in the morning.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“No. After they’re asleep, I’ll call you.”

“Okay.”

“But where will I go?”

“You can stay here with Mom and me. She might be a little ticked off, but she won’t kick us out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, yeah. I know my mom.”

“Dean, I’m scared.”

“Me, too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She hung up and reached for pad and pen and wrote Dean a letter, telling him how much she loved him. Putting her fears in writing helped to pass the time.

DEAN WAS WORRIED about Claire—it wasn’t like her to go somewhere without telling him. And why had she taken the letters? As he sat in the den, his mind went back to that first night she’d left home.

March 16, 1983

DEAN PICKED UP CLAIRE right before midnight on the corner of her street. They didn’t talk much. Neither knew if they were doing the right thing.

They made it to Bunny’s before she got home from work. Her shift ended at twelve. When he told his mother what had happened, she exploded, just as he knew she would.