Tina Beckett - Midwives On-Call At Christmas

His phone rang and he stood up and pulled it from his back pocket, looking to see who was calling. He glanced towards Bonnie and Freya and walked off to the side.

* * *

Bonnie looked up. It must be a work call. Jacob obviously didn’t want to discuss a patient around them and that was fine.

Freya was still excited. In a few minutes’ time it would be time for the countdown and switch-on of the Christmas lights. Bonnie held out her hand. ‘Come on. The lights will be on in a few minutes. Let’s find somewhere good to stand.’

The smells from the street vendors were wafting all around them. Roasting chestnuts, hot chocolate and mulled wine. The rich pine scents from the wreaths outside the nearby florist were mixing in with other aromas. Holly was intertwined amongst them and mistletoe hung from the door of the shop. Should she buy some?

Jacob was still talking. He looked worried; there were deep furrows across his brow. She crossed her fingers that there were no problems on the labour ward.

He caught her eye and turned away. Something twisted inside.

Now she was being stupid.

This was simple. This was just a nice day out between work colleagues—housemates. Because if she took that kiss out of the equation, there really wasn’t anything else between them—was there?

In theory, no. But that wasn’t the way she was feeling inside. And everything about that made her uncomfortable. After the nightmare of her ex-husband she’d vowed not to expose herself or Freya to anything like that again. She didn’t need the hassle of the conflict.

Bonnie Reid fully intended to be a man-free zone. So what had gone wrong?

She hadn’t even lasted a day. They’d moved in with Jacob their first day. How ridiculous was that?

From the initial grumpy meeting, Jacob had seemed to chill. She’d been nervous about staying there with Freya; the first few days she’d scoured the Internet for somewhere else.

But it was almost as if, after the first few days, he wasn’t really in a hurry for them to move out. Anywhere she showed him he always had a reason for them not to move there. Too far out. Too rough. Not near a good school. And while it was helpful and informative, it wasn’t actually inspiring her to move elsewhere.

She and Freya were getting a little too comfortable in Jacob’s lovely house. It was almost starting to feel like home.

Jacob put the phone back in his pocket and spun around to face them. He walked over, picked up Freya and put her on his shoulders. ‘This is where you’ll get the best view,’ he said, and she squealed with happiness as he swung her up.

But Bonnie’s stomach was still churning. It was almost as if the phone call hadn’t happened. It was almost as if he hadn’t deliberately walked away from them and excluded them from his conversation.

A horrible chill crept down her spine. Jacob wasn’t on call any more. His on-call duties finished at midday. Whoever had phoned him—it hadn’t been about work. There were no patient confidentiality issues. So what didn’t he want her to hear?

She didn’t have time to think any further, because his arm was around her shoulders and he moved them forwards a little as Santa positioned himself on stage to make the announcement and turn on the lights.

Crowds had gathered all around them. They were lucky Jacob had thought to buy them tickets. The area in front of the stage was crushed full of people. At the side, they could see the view all along the street. A perfect position to see the lights switched on.

Santa started cheering the crowd on. Some of the handlers had brought the reindeers out from the pen and positioned them behind him. The animals seemed completely unperturbed by the noise or the crowds. Freya, in the meantime, was clapping her hands with excitement.

‘Ten, nine, eight, seven, six.’ Bonnie joined in the countdown with the rest of the crowd. This was what she wanted for her little girl. To be full of the joys of Christmas and to enter into the spirit of things.

Moving down here had been hard. Emotionally hard. The separation in miles was the final nail in her divorce coffin, and one that she so badly needed. Everything down here was new. Everything down here was fresh.

Living in a town where Freya could have seen her father at any point, and been ignored by him, was too much for her. His lack of involvement hurt. It wasn’t the issue of being both mum and dad to her little girl—that was without question. It was the carefully chosen words she had to find to explain why he didn’t call—why he didn’t visit.

And it didn’t matter that moving to Cambridge gave Robert a perfect excuse for not visiting Freya. He hadn’t needed one in Scotland. It just lessened the impact of him not being around. Freya was so caught up in her new home, her new school and her new friends that she hadn’t even had a chance to miss him and that was a welcome relief.

Jacob looked over at her and squeezed her shoulder. ‘Okay?’

‘Yes.’ She nodded, pushing away all the other little doubts that had started to creep into her mind. It was one phone call. One. Nothing else.

Jacob wasn’t Robert. And even if he was, it was none of her business. They were work colleagues—friends.

Santa finished the countdown, ‘Three, two, one,’ and flicked the switch.

It was magical. Like something from a movie. The Christmas lights started at the bottom of the street. Red, green and gold garlands strung across the road flickered to life.

It was like a Mexican wave. At points along the way there were bigger illuminations. A North Pole house, a multicoloured sleigh, a large pile of presents. The church halfway along the street had joined in. Multicoloured lights wrapped around the stained-glass windows and steeple lit up the dark night sky. A nativity scene in the churchyard, complete with shepherds and magi, was brought to life.

Freya loved every part of it. Every time another part lit she gasped with excitement. The lights were getting closer, finishing with the large Christmas tree in the middle of the square. The colours lit up one at a time, as if someone were stringing tinsel around the tree while they watched. First green, then red, then gold. Finally a large white twinkling star lit at the top of the tree as fireworks started to go off behind them. Cambridge really knew how to do Christmas.

One of the brass bands from the local schools started to play Christmas carols and Bonnie, Freya and Jacob joined in. By the time Jacob slid Freya off his shoulders an hour later her eyelids were heavy. Bonnie held out her arms to take her but Jacob shook his head. ‘It’s fine. We’ve still got quite a way to walk back.’ She saw the tiniest flash of hesitation across his eyes, then he bent down and dropped a kiss on her lips.

Just when she thought she had things sorted in her head. Just when she’d convinced herself that what Jacob did was none of her business and she should forget their last kiss.

The kiss zapped everything back into his place. The taste of his lips and the feel of his hands sliding under her jumper and up her back.

‘Come on.’ He smiled at her. ‘Let’s get sleepyhead back home. It’s getting cold out here.’

A few gentle flakes of snow started to fall around them. Freya had automatically snuggled into Jacob’s neck and was already half asleep. Jacob kept his other arm around Bonnie and steered them both through the crowd and along the street.

Bonnie looked around. To everyone else, they must look like a regular family. Mum, Dad and little girl. Part of that terrified her. The other part pined for it.

She wanted Freya to be loved, to be part of a family. She wanted her little girl to have the relationship that she’d missed out on with her own father.