Mabel Maney - The Case Of The Not-So-Nice Nurse

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The Case Of The Not-So-Nice Nurse: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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“The Funniest Damn titles in gay Fiction” – InstinctNurse Cherry Aimless’s first vacation from her hectic career in a big-city hospital takes her to visit her spinster Aunt Gertrude in thrilling San Francisco. Wistfully trading her starched white cap and dress for a bright yellow poplin frock with a flared skirt, young Cherry takes to the highway, never imagining the gay adventures that await her. Imagine her surprise to learn that Aunt Gertrude has been kidnapped! Armed only with the contents of her purse, and with the help of new chums Midge, Velma, and a dashing female police officer named Jackie, the plucky but innocent Cherry must save her aunt, find a gaggle of missing nuns, and stop an illegal land grab— all under the warm gaze of her hero, girl detective Nancy Clue. And when the queer caper has ended, will there be a chance for Nancy and Cherry?This sparkling parody of 1950s girl adventure stories will make you laugh out loud and long for a lemon Jell-O mold. Golly, it’s a good time!From the author of The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend and A Ghost in the Closet.Praise for Mabel Maney“For those adults who are just big and twisted kids underneath” San Francisco Weekly“Tongue-in-cheek homoerotic hilarity that’s fun, nostalgic, and completely contemporary” Los Angeles Reader“Maney flawlessly lampoons the torpid style of both children’s books and lesbian mysteries where similarly nothing happens without at least three changes of clothing and a good, hot meal” SF Weekly“America’s two greatest girl detectives as lovers? Could anything in the history of pop culture be more irreverent?” Newsday“Maney has penned a mystery with tongue-in-cheek homoerotic hilarity that’s simultaneously fun, nostalgic and completely contemporary” Los Angeles Reader

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Cherry was amazed that Nurse Marstad knew so much about her plans. “I didn’t tell her I was coming. I wanted it to be a surprise,” Cherry said. “I’m sure I can find Lana. I’d feel so much better knowing that I didn’t leave you in a jam.”

Nurse Marstad looked thoughtful. “Actually, Cherry, you could do me a really big favor. I need to get a package to a friend of mine in Oregon—and soon. Are you staying long in Idaho?” When Cherry replied that she intended to visit her family for no more than a day on her way to San Francisco, Nurse Marstad continued.

“Since you’re going in that direction, you could drop it off. It would just be a few miles out of your way. It’s very important, and there aren’t many people I’d trust with it. But I know I can count on you, Cherry.”

“Even though I seem to be imagining things?” Cherry fretted.

Nurse Marstad laughed. “You’re just overworked, Cherry. Why, you’re a splendid probation nurse!”

That was high praise coming from the strict head nurse, Cherry thought. Her bosom swelled with pride. “Why, I’d be honored to deliver a package for you, Nurse Marstad. What is it?”

Nurse Marstad seemed flustered by Cherry’s inquiry. She quickly regained her composure and answered, in a casual manner, “Oh, it’s a special experimental medication, and it’s very fragile. You’d need to watch it along the way; don’t leave it in your car unattended. Take it with you wherever you go. It’s very rare. When you get to Oregon, deliver it right to my friend’s front door; hand it to her personally. I’ll get a map to you before you leave in the morning,” she said. “Are you willing to do it?”

“Of course!” Cherry cried. “You can count on me, Nurse Marstad. I’d never let you down! Why, you’re not nearly as tough as everyone says!” she added.

Nurse Marstad chuckled. “You assumed I was going to fire you because you made one mistake. After all, doesn’t everyone say I’m so tough that I practically eat probation nurses for breakfast?”

Cherry didn’t know what to say. She always tried to be diplomatic. “Everyone knows you have high standards. And there was that one nurse …”

So that awful rumor about Nurse Rita Rooney is still making the rounds - фото 7

“So that awful rumor about Nurse Rita Rooney is still making the rounds!”

Cherry had indeed heard the rumor. Why, all probies heard it the first day on the job. Legend had it that a beginning nurse made a simple mistake during surgery, and Nurse Marstad reprimanded her so harshly she hung herself that very night. Her ghost haunted the first-year nurses’ quarters during the full moon, the senior nurses said.

“You mean she didn’t hang herself because of you?” Cherry blurted out before she could stop herself.

“Nurse Rooney is very much alive and well and living in Key West with Nurse Greta Green. I should know. I was her roommate until the day Nurse Green showed up.”

Cherry’s jaw dropped. “But why do they tell that terrible story?” she asked indignantly.

Nurse Marstad smiled widely, revealing a darling dimple in her left cheek. “Someone’s idea of a joke, I guess!” she shrugged.

Cherry was astonished. Why, Nurse Marstad wasn’t the big bad wolf everyone thought!

“It would be an honor to deliver your package, Nurse Marstad,” Cherry said proudly.

Nurse Marstad unlocked the bottom drawer of her desk and took out a bundle the size of a clutch purse, wrapped in brown paper and tied securely with white string. Using her fountain pen, she addressed the package in bold handwriting before handing it to Cherry.

She walked Cherry to the door, handed her the precious parcel, and resumed her no-nonsense tone of voice.

“Nurse Aimless, I order you to go and pack!” she said, with a stern tone in her voice but a twinkle in her eye. “And Cherry,” she added in a whisper, “Mum’s the word about Nurse Rooney. That story keeps probies on their toes, and I kind of don’t mind it myself!”

Cherry impulsively hugged the older woman. “I’ll send you a postcard,” she promised. She suddenly felt in high spirits.

Why, Nurse Marstad was human after all! And really quite attractive when she smiled, Cherry thought, as she headed back to her room to begin packing.

She was almost to the nurses’ dorm when she realized she still had Nurse Marstad’s lavender handkerchief clutched in her hand. “I’ll wash and iron it tonight and return it in the morning,” she promised herself. She jammed the handkerchief in her pocket, her thoughts turning to other things.

She hated to leave before Lana was found, but deep in her heart she knew Nurse Marstad was right. She could use a rest. And besides, now she had an important package to deliver!

“Two whole glorious weeks, and they’re all mine!” she thought happily, a little skip in her walk. General Hospital could not have had a happier nurse than vacation-bound Cherry Aimless.

CHAPTER 3

The Journey Begins

The distinctive creak of rubbersoled shoes outside her door woke Cherry from a - фото 8

The distinctive creak of rubber-soled shoes outside her door woke Cherry from a deep slumber. Being careful not to disturb her roommate, Nurse Cassie Case, Cherry slipped out of bed, donned her pink-flowered chenille robe and fuzzy slippers, and quietly opened her door.

“I must have been dreaming,” she thought when she peeked out and discovered no one in the hallway. “That, or I’m a little jumpy after the events of last night! I may as well get an early start on my trip,” she reasoned, but when she saw the soft glowing dial of her electric alarm clock, she changed her mind.

“Three in the morning and I’m thinking of getting up?” she yawned, jumping back into bed and snuggling under the warm covers.

She slept in fits and starts the rest of the night. Once she thought she heard someone jiggling her doorknob, but decided she was imagining things. Eventually she resumed her slumber, and when she awoke, Nurse Case was gone. On her neatly-made bed was a note for Cherry:

I didn’t want to wake you because you’ll need all your rest for the trip ahead. Have a gay time in San Francisco!

Cherry hopped out of bed, gave her face a good scrubbing in the little corner sink and put on the travel outfit she had selected before going to bed, a cornflower-blue madras skirt, simple white cotton blouse and comfortable flats.

“It’s just the ticket for a comfy car trip,” she declared, surveying herself in the full-length mirror. She double-checked the contents of her stylish white leather suitcase and matching cosmetics bag before latching them securely. Cherry wasn’t sure what the styles were in San Francisco, so she had packed a wide variety of outfits, from play clothes to formal wear. She put Nurse Marstad’s package in her purse and left her room.

After a delicious breakfast of soft-boiled eggs, melba toast and fruit cup in the hospital cafeteria, Cherry had two stops to make. The first was the payroll office, to receive her vacation pay. There was an envelope attached to her pay packet, addressed to her in Nurse Marstad’s unmistakable handwriting. Inside was a map of Oregon, a crisp ten-dollar bill, and a note.

Cherry, I really appreciate this—you are a lifesaver! Use the money for gasoline and a treat. I’ve marked the map so you know where you’re going .

Have a good time—that’s an order .

Peg Marstad

Cherry remembered that Nurse Marstad’s lavender handkerchief lay crumpled in the pocket of last night’s uniform, which she had thrown hastily into her suitcase. Her friends laughed when she packed her uniforms for a vacation trip, but Cherry knew that a nurse could be called into action at any time, and she wanted to be appropriately attired if such an occasion should arise.

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