Cerella Sechrist - Tessa's Gift

“I see the daffodils are blooming,” he remarked. “I know those have always been some of your favorites. There are several planted along a walkway at the hospital, and whenever I see them, I think of you.” He drew a breath. “You’d love the landscaping there. In fact, you’d probably keep the staff tied up for hours, telling them facts about different flowers. I remember the first time we met, and you kept me out in your garden forever, just talking about plants. I was so petrified to be meeting Julia’s parents that I hardly said two words, and you just kept talking about soil acidity and compost techniques.” He chuckled softly at the memory.

John kept staring straight ahead, seemingly oblivious to the beauty of the day as well as Noah’s conversation. Noah sighed, humor evaporating, and leaned back on the bench.

“Speaking of the hospital—they’ve brought on some new marketing coordinator. Her name’s Tessa. She and I are supposed to work together to elevate the hospital’s reputation and my role there.” He made a face even though he knew John wouldn’t register it. “Can’t they see it for the distraction it is? My focus is patients, not publicity. That’s what they hired this Tessa woman to do. Let her worry about garnering public awareness and leave me to do my job.”

He stood and started to pace. “The first time we met, she made me spill my coffee all over myself. I had to go back home to change, so I was late getting to the hospital. And then she tried to tell me how I should talk to my patients.” He shook his head. “In any case, it’s not my job to worry about publicity. My patients need my undivided attention. All it takes is one wrong judgment call, one distraction, and it could cost a child their life.”

He stopped suddenly, the weight of these words settling around his heart, reminding him of Ginny. He sank back onto the bench. John didn’t so much as twitch, and for that, Noah was grateful. He would give anything to restore his father-in-law to awareness, but that was a selfish wish.

He envied John his ability to block out the world and the memories of all they had lost. How pleasant it would be to forget, to be blissfully ignorant of the disease and death that had stolen all that he loved most in this world. And while it might have been nice to speak with the other man once more, Noah thought it was better this way. Let John have his catatonic peace. It was the only thing left to him. At least Noah still had his battle with the disease that had taken his daughter...and, indirectly, his wife. It was a distraction, but it was rarely enough to silence the guilt and grief completely.

“It doesn’t happen often,” Noah whispered, “but sometimes, I’ll get so involved with a patient that I forget. I forget how I lost her. In some ways, I wish it happened more.” He closed his eyes, letting the sun warm his face and fighting back tears. “Is that wrong, do you think? That there are moments I just want to forget? Not forget Ginny or Julia, really, but just to have a bit of respite from the grief?”

He opened his eyes. “But I suppose it is wrong. My memories are my punishment. I don’t deserve to forget, do I? Why should I when I’m still here and they’re gone?”

He swallowed. “There are days when I hate Julia for doing what she did. And there are other days when I envy her. I wish I’d been able to find the courage to do the same thing.” He paused. “But that’s not right. I’m here because I have to make amends. I need to save the others even if I couldn’t save Ginny.”

The burden of this confession overwhelmed him. It brought no relief to speak it aloud. John’s eyes had slipped closed, and Noah wasn’t sure if he was asleep or simply resting. It didn’t matter. He prayed that John had peace now, even if Noah didn’t. That would have to be enough.

* * *

THE DAY AFTER Tessa’s first interaction with Dr. Noah Brennan, she purposely avoided him. She knew Ana wanted them to work together, but she wasn’t up to dealing with the man’s disapproval. She used her morning in other ways instead, writing up several grant applications on the hospital’s behalf and getting a start on the email campaign she had in the works.

Tessa kept the door to her office closed, and to her relief, Ana didn’t pop in to check on her. She liked her new boss, but she didn’t need more pressure where the hospital’s all-star doctor was concerned. By noon, however, Tessa was ravenous. She’d had no appetite that morning, so she’d skipped her early walk with Rufus and hadn’t had her tea latte. Before heading out the door, she’d grabbed a tea bag, and later found a crumbled packet of crackers, two mints and a sealed snack bag of gummy bears that she kept for Zoe and Molly in her purse. It had made for a poor breakfast, and now her stomach was rumbling so loudly she feared the sound of it would draw Ana to her anyway.

By 12:07, she knew she had to give up and venture to the hospital commons. She hoped she wouldn’t run into Ana and have to answer questions as to how she and Dr. Brennan were getting on. She grabbed her wallet, peeking her head out of the office before she made a dash for the main lobby of the hospital and then followed the walkway to the atrium that housed the commons cafeteria.

It was peak lunch hour, and the tables were filled with visitors, nurses, doctors and other staff members. Feeling like the new kid at school, Tessa got into the line and waited, scanning the area for free seats. She could always take her lunch back to her office, but it would be far easier to hide out here, with so many people. Tessa had noticed that Ana often worked through her break, so it was probably safer to be out of her office at the moment.

Once she had her chicken Caesar salad and fruit cup, she looked for a place to sit. She perked up when she saw a small table with only one other occupant. She headed in the direction of the vacant seat, hoping the diner would be willing to share their spot. She was nearly upon the table before she recognized the person sitting there.

Dr. Noah Brennan. She stifled a groan. Then again, if she wanted to keep this job, maybe she should make an effort to get to know him a little better. As she was working up the courage to sit, he looked up and met her eye. She forced a smile, the decision made for her. “Mind if I join you?” she asked, gesturing with her head to the empty seat.

His expression didn’t change, nor did he respond for what felt like a full minute. But then he dipped his head, and she moved forward to slide into the vacant chair.

“Thank you,” she offered. They were both silent for a few minutes.

Tessa picked at her salad, realizing her appetite had disappeared. She felt awkward and miserable and again marveled at Dr. Brennan’s utter lack of people skills. How were they going to work together when they couldn’t even sit at the same table without the atmosphere becoming uncomfortable?

She put her fork down and shifted to face him.

“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot,” she said. “I’m sorry about how I spoke to you yesterday and for what happened at the Lighthouse Café.”

He didn’t respond, but she noticed something in his posture, an easing of the shoulders, so she took it as a good sign and continued.

“I adopted Rufus—that’s my dog—a couple of weeks ago, and I’m still training him.” She smiled at the thought of her pet. “Rufus has a good heart, but sometimes he gets a little too excited...especially when food is involved.” She chuckled to herself. “You should have seen him at the animal shelter where I worked. He always knew when feeding time was getting close. I swear, that dog has an internal clock. If we were one minute late getting the food to him, he would start barking to remind us.”