Karen Young - In Confidence

“You won’t forget to eat before going to bed then, will you?”

“How could I? I’m as hungry as a bear.”

Rachel went to the door. “I’ll make you something while you shower. How about an omelette?”

“Not necessary, Rachel. And instead of feeding me, shouldn’t you be worrying about Nick and Kendall?” Their eyes met in the mirror. “It’s dinnertime and I’ll bet Ted isn’t home yet, is he?”

“No, he’s…he has a meeting. He’ll be late. And I’ve called Marta. She’ll look out for the kids until I get home.”

Dinah held her gaze for a moment, then with a skeptical sound, began to work at the snaps on her overalls. “That man has so many night meetings, you’d think he was a politician instead of a doctor. If he doesn’t watch out, the kids are going to grow up not knowing him any better than they know the town’s mayor!”

“I can’t disagree with you on that, Mom.”

Holding the overalls against her, Dinah studied Rachel’s face. “Have you two talked about this? How long is he going to neglect his responsibilities? Have you discussed the importance of Nick and Kendall having both a mother and a father?”

“I wouldn’t define our encounters as discussions,” Rachel said frankly. “They usually wind up with me nagging and Ted clamming up.”

Dinah sank with a sigh onto the side of the bed. “I guess it’s not helpful to hear me harping on it, either, is it? I’m sorry, Rachel, but you’d think—”

“Speaking of the kids, I’d better be going.” Rachel stood in the shadows of the hall where her mother couldn’t see how her words had stung, especially tonight. “You’re sure you won’t reconsider and come with me?”

Dinah didn’t reply for a moment, but Rachel knew she wasn’t finished. “I’m sure.” She cocked her head, studying her intently. “How was your day? Those kids giving you more than the usual grief lately?”

“No more than usual. I counseled a pregnant sixteen-year-old this morning and then I drove to Dallas and picked up Jason Pate, Coach Monk’s star quarterback. He was being held by the Juvenile authorities on a DUI charge.”

“Oops.”

“Uh-huh. Jason is the heart and soul of the Mustangs. Hence, Coach Monk’s concern. Or rather the play-offs, which are in full swing, are his main concern and Jason is key to that.”

“And then you came home to find your ditzy mom had landed herself in the ER,” Dinah said with a grimace.

Rachel rubbed her temple with two fingers and managed a weak smile. “I suppose it has been one of those days.”

“And that’s all?” Dinah said, still trying to define something more she had sensed in Rachel’s mood.

“Unless you want to count the lecture I got from Cameron Ford.” She was still stinging from his unflattering assessment of her as a daughter. Five years ago, he’d been brutally judgmental about her ability as a counselor, now it appeared she hadn’t risen a jot in his estimation. Bad counselor then, bad daughter now. It made no sense for her to care what he thought. She must be particularly vulnerable and he’d hit a nerve.

“I guess I’m shocked to learn you’ve moved next door to a man who hates me,” she told her mother with a weak laugh. “If I’d known he was going to be your neighbor, I would have argued even more fiercely against you buying a house instead of a condo.”

She knew the man’s reputation as a gifted author and she bought all his books—on the sly, of course, as it seemed inappropriate somehow, considering how brutal and accusatory he’d been about her job. It would be awkward having him right next door every time she visited her mother, although she supposed he wasn’t any different from other Rose Hill residents who’d sampled life elsewhere before coming back home to live.

They’d both attended Rose Hill High, but Cameron had been four years older than Rachel, which made him as remote from her world as seniors are from lowly freshman girls. Even then, he’d been a brooding, nonconformist sort and she thought he wasn’t much changed today. It was silly to be bothered that he had a low opinion of her. She knew him to be a decent person, if somewhat aloof—if his press was accurate—which should be all she needed to know since he was going to be her mother’s neighbor. It wasn’t as if he’d be her neighbor. Thank God.

Dinah was frowning. “A lecture from Cameron? About what?”

“He thinks I neglect you. He told me I should find more time to visit. He thinks you get more attention from the postman and your neighbors than you get from me.”

“Ridiculous,” Dinah said with a dismissive click of her tongue. “Ignore him. Besides, we both know where his hostility is coming from.”

“His son,” Rachel said, giving a sigh. “He must still believe that I should have picked up on Jack’s depression and done something before it was too late.” She paused a long moment. “Maybe I should have, Mom. I’ve relived those last few weeks of Jack’s life many times. Maybe Cameron’s right.”

Dinah made an impatient sound. “If you could read the mind of every kid in an emotional tailspin at Rose Hill High, you’d wind up in one yourself. You do a good job with those children, Rachel. God knows, Jack’s suicide was a tragedy, and what makes it even more tragic for you is that you were in the process of working with the boy, but sometimes there’s just no foreseeing these things. Cam’s reaction today was simply that he wasn’t prepared to see you and it reminded him of what he’d like to forget.”

“Cam?” she questioned dryly.

“He told me to call him Cam,” Dinah said, rubbing at a smudge on her elbow. “Try not to dwell on what you may or may not have done. I, for one, know you always do your best.”

Rachel stared at the muddy sneakers in her hand, thinking back to that time. “Jack just didn’t strike me as suicidal, Mom. I must have spent a hundred hours going over those last few weeks of his life. There was something troubling him, I knew that. His grades were slipping and he seemed distracted. His teachers had noticed a change in him. Of course, he was adjusting to a new school in a new state. Big difference between New York and Texas. And his parents were recently divorced, so he had a lot to contend with. It made sense that he was unhappy. Almost any teenager would be. I had a talk with him the day before he…before it happened. Why didn’t I see it coming? If I could have just—”

“Could just what, Rachel? Live that day over? Be all things to all kids?” Dinah removed her socks. “This wasn’t the first tragedy that will happen on your watch, hon. And it won’t be the last. Cam is unable to let it go and maybe that’s understandable, but you’re in a different place. You must let it go.”

Rachel drew in a deep breath and managed a fleeting smile. “I know.” She scooped up the overalls that Dinah had tossed on the bed. “I’ll put these in the washing machine for you and then I’m going to make you an omelette before I leave. And don’t bother arguing, Mom.”

“If you must.” Dinah rolled her eyes and pulled her T-shirt over her head. “May as well throw this in with everything else.” Then, as if still trying to put her finger on something else in Rachel’s mood, she added, “Is everything okay with you and Ted?”

Rachel stopped with the washables bundled in her arms and smiled brightly. “Define ‘everything.”’

Dinah frowned in the act of donning a robe and looked hard at her. “You tell me, Rachel.”

“Maybe, as you say, Mom, I am feeling a little neglected.”

“Well, it’s about time,” Dinah said flatly. “You’ve been willing to put your own needs aside to accommodate Ted almost from the moment the two of you met. I’ll always resent that you dropped your own plans for medical school to help him get his M.D. and a specialty. And now, after all you’ve done—” Dinah was pacing, her hands waving and slashing with heartfelt emotion. It was no secret that she’d long believed Rachel’s sacrifice of her original plan for a career in medicine was a big mistake. She stopped suddenly. “You know what the problem is, Rachel? You’ve spoiled Ted rotten. You haven’t demanded enough from him. I’m happy to hear you finally say you’re feeling neglected. All you have to do now is tell him that.”