Rachel Cohn - Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List

First published in the USA in 2007 by Alfred A Knopf,

an imprint of Random House Children’s Books,

a division of Random House Inc, New York

First published in Great Britain in 2014

by Electric Monkey, an imprint of Egmont UK Limited

The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

Text copyright © 2007 Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

The moral rights of the authors have been asserted

First e-book edition 2014

ISBN 978 1 4052 7244 5

eISBN 978 1 7803 1501 0

www.egmont.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

EGMONT

Our story began over a century ago, when seventeen-year-old Egmont Harald Petersen found a coin in the street. He was on his way to buy a flyswatter, a small hand-operated printing machine that he then set up in his tiny apartment.

The coin brought him such good luck that today Egmont has offices in over 30 countries around the world. And that lucky coin is still kept at the company’s head offices in Denmark.

To Nancy the First

Electric Monkey books by David Levithan

Every Day

How They Met and Other Stories

Two Boys Kissing

Written with Rachel Cohn

Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Cover

Title Page

Copyright First published in the USA in 2007 by Alfred A Knopf, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House Inc, New York First published in Great Britain in 2014 by Electric Monkey, an imprint of Egmont UK Limited The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN Text copyright © 2007 Rachel Cohn and David Levithan The moral rights of the authors have been asserted First e-book edition 2014 ISBN 978 1 4052 7244 5 eISBN 978 1 7803 1501 0 www.egmont.co.uk A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet. EGMONT Our story began over a century ago, when seventeen-year-old Egmont Harald Petersen found a coin in the street. He was on his way to buy a flyswatter, a small hand-operated printing machine that he then set up in his tiny apartment. The coin brought him such good luck that today Egmont has offices in over 30 countries around the world. And that lucky coin is still kept at the company’s head offices in Denmark.

Dedication To Nancy the First

Front series promotional page Electric Monkey books by David Levithan Every Day How They Met and Other Stories Two Boys Kissing Written with Rachel Cohn Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Naomi: SHIVER

Bruce the Second: DIAL

Bruce the First: INSOMNIA

Ely: KEY

Naomi: ORBIT

Ely: KNOCKDOWN

Robin( ): VELMA

Bruce the Second: MUTANT

Naomi: MO(U)RNING

Ely: WEEKIVERSARY

Kelly: BINGO

Naomi: REALIZE

Gabriel: TRACKS

Bruce the Second: OUT

STARBUCKS

Bruce the First: LIKEWISE

Robin( ): FRIENDS

Gabriel: TIGER

Bruce the Second: FAIR

Naomi: UP

Ely: EASY

Naomi: EXPECTATION

Ely: CORNER

Naomi: CLOSETS

Ely: CLOSE

Acknowledgements

Back series promotional page

Egmont Press: Ethical Publishing

I lie all the time.

I lied to Mrs. Loy from the fourteenth floor when I assured her that I walked her dog three times a day and watered her plants while she went to Atlantic City to win the money for her son’s sad operation (or for her own elective plastic surgery – I’m not sure).

I lied to the co-op board of my family’s apartment building about my mom’s episode that left our living room wall in partial collapse soon after Dad left. I also backed up Mom’s lies to the board that we’d pay for the damage. Monkeys will fly outta my butt before we’ll be able to come up with the money to fix the fallout. The way I figure, if Mom and I aren’t bothered by living in ruins, why should the co-op board care?

I lied to the NYU Admissions Committee that I care about my future and my education. I’m barely a year out of high school, and already I know this NYU deal is a losing proposition. I live out the college freshman lie to hold on to the only thing in my life that’s not in ruins – Ely.

I lied to Robin ( ) from psych class when I assured her that Robin ( ) from that time at the Starbucks at Eighth and University her and will call her. There’s no $$$ for me to move into the school dorms, and Robin’s a sophomore with a rare single who goes home on the weekends and lets me use her place when I need to escape The Building. The apartment building where I’ve lived my whole life may be situated on prime Greenwich Village real estate, but escape from it is my prime priority: escape from parent drama or my lies or Mr. McAllister, the creepy up-and-down elevator man who lives down the hall from Mrs. Loy and who’s been ogling me since I was thirteen and my breasts first announced themselves in the elevator mirror.

I’ve lied to Mom every time I’ve told her I’ve stayed the night at Robin’s when really I’ve stayed over at my boyfriend’s dorm room. I lie to myself that I need to lie about my whereabouts. It’s not like Bruce the Second and I are doing it. We’re more about a in bed, then turn out the light, and – just sleep – ’til he leaves in the morning for his accounting class. I lie to him that I think accounting is a worthwhile subject to study.