Rachel McIntyre - This Careless Life

She imagined her staccato heels ringing through the marble lobby. She imagined the door to her sumptuous room soundlessly closing behind them. Onstage, the presenter droned on about someone fleeing from somewhere; a single suitcase; fitting into a new country, a new school; struggling to pay for the essentials. Absent parents.

Blah-blah-blah .

Well, tonight there would be no parents getting in Liv’s way either.

Tonight there would be no clingy girlfriend expecting him.

Tonight there would be just the two of them. Alone.

She shivered.

Would this gloom-fest never end? Droning on in that uber-worthy tone about the Cinderella Project, the presenter tapped the screen and the same girls appeared, smiling in a selection of tacky prom dresses. The audience cheered. Liv didn’t.

Her mind was busily compiling a dramatic montage of its own, complete with bridesmaids’ dresses abandoned, cakes left unbaked, cancelled venues, guests apologised to, honeymoon plans forever shelved . . .

And right at the heart of it, him breaking the news to his fiancée: I’m sorry. It’s over. I’ve fallen in love with a girl named Liv.

He poured another glass of champagne and leaned so close his breath tickled her neck. ‘I shouldn’t be here, you know. I really shouldn’t be here.’

By the time Sonya Sunshine climbed the steps to a standing ovation, Liv had forgotten about the award.

‘And are you single at the moment?’

Lost in the memory of that night, it took a second for Liv to take in Cass’s question.

The woman smiled, adding, ‘Only you haven’t mentioned a boyfriend or a girlfriend or anyone special.’

Liv clasped her hands between her knees. ‘No, I’m not with anyone right now.’ Pause. ‘I mean, there was someone, but we broke up.’

‘Someone?’ Cass prompted.

On the rug, Duff kicked his legs out straight and flung himself on to his back with a theatrical groan.

‘Seriously, Cass, please do not bring up the whole Olivia’s mystery man thing. We’ve had a whole year of it and I can’t take any more.’

Hetty prodded him. ‘Not now, Duff.’

Sparks of panic darted through Liv. Bring it back to the blog. She opened her mouth, but the words stalled in her throat.

Duff had shot upright and fixed his attention on Cass.

‘Actually, you know what? This would be the perfect time for her to finally tell us who he is. Get her skeletons out.’ He mimed air quotes. ‘Do the “Big Reveal”.’

‘Except there isn’t anything to “Reveal”,’ Liv mimed back and pressed her lips in a tight line.

Anyone, any normal person, would quit it. Not Duff though.

Instead, he turned down the corners of his mouth. ‘I am trying to help. He put you through hell for months, Olivia. Whoever he is – was – I’d love to know. I’d like to, you know.’ He punched his open palm. ‘Have a chat with him.’

‘No!’

‘He’s right,’ Cass said. ‘It’s far better to get your secrets out in the open now.’

Liv’s mind snagged on the s-word. No. No no no no no .

‘Liv?’ Cass’s deep brown eyes were boring holes into Liv’s head. Her throat, suddenly as dry as sawdust, made a clicking sound and she swallowed.

‘Did I mention my blog has a quite a number of male followers?’ she said, turning desperately to Cass. ‘I’ve been totally blown away.’

The woman gestured for Liv to look straight ahead. ‘A secret boyfriend. Now that’s interesting. Tell me more.’

‘We should never have got together.’ The words took her by surprise, blurting out before she even realised she’d opened her mouth. What was going on? She never talked about this now, not even with Hetty. Full stop, period, on pain of death never.

‘Let me guess,’ Duff said, jumping to his feet. He ticked a list off on his fingers. ‘Your golf coach? Tennis coach? Personal trainer? The guy who cleans your swimming pool? Or maybe it’s not a man at all . . .’ He waggled his eyebrows. Liv stayed silent and he made a noise like a talent-show buzzer. ‘ Nuh-uuuh . No? OK then, it’s –’

‘No one,’ insisted Liv, too high and panicky even to her own ears. Cass was still staring at her. Oh God. She felt the words bubbling up. She felt the blood drain from her cheeks and battled the overwhelming compulsion to blurt it out.

‘It was –’

Ping.

All eyes immediately swivelled in the direction of the sound.

‘Hetty Barraclough,’ Duff said, putting his hands on his hips. ‘Was that your mobile telephone?’

Like the flick of a switch, the urge to confess was gone. Liv felt herself go limp.

‘Sorry,’ Hetty said, her finger swiping across the screen. ‘I only got it yesterday. I haven’t worked out how to use it properly yet.’

‘ Hetty! ’ Liv said, fake-scandalised. ‘Cass said no devices.’

‘It’s Duncan,’ Hetty said as though that explained everything.

‘So what?’ Jez said.

‘No problem,’ Cass said, smiling. ‘Duncan’s your boyfriend, isn’t he? I think you mentioned him once or twice in your application.’

No man of mystery jibes for Hetty. And knowing her obsession with Duncan, ‘once or twice’ was probably a polite understatement.

Hetty nodded, eyes glued to the illuminated display. ‘He wants to know what time you think we’ll be finished.’

Liv’s irritation grew less fake. ‘Hetty! This is our audition.’

But Cass didn’t seem too offended. ‘If everything goes according to plan, you should all be on your way around half past one.’

One final flourish of taps and Hetty put the phone on the coffee table. Jez put his glasses back on.

‘All done? Let’s try something else,’ Cass said, turning her attention back to Liv. ‘How about if one day, bang ,’ she snapped her fingers, ‘everything vanished. The houses, the shopping, the money . . . everything. What would you do?’

Liv’s heartbeat steadied. No more talk of secrets. OK, she hadn’t rehearsed this exact one, but Louis had warned her they’d throw a few curveballs her way.

‘That’s a tough one! Erm, I suppose we’d cope. People do. I mean, we’ve got friends and family. But I really can’t see it happening. My dad’s far too careful for that.’

‘And has your family always been well-off ?’

‘As far as I can remember,’ Liv said.

Cass unbent a folded corner and ran her finger down the page. ‘Interesting. My notes say Frank Dawson . . . left school at fifteen. Let’s see . . . went from running the family fruit and veg stall to owning the UK’s largest agribusiness. Is that right?’

Liv held in a sigh. They’d got the riches, why did people insist on bringing up the rags? Seriously. Why was that humble beginnings stuff always such a big deal?

She forced her smile a little wider. ‘Yes, I’m very proud of him. But my mum’s family, the Hills. All this . . .’ She waved her arm towards the window. ‘The farm, the stables, the land . . . it’s been in Mum’s family for years.’

‘Interesting.’ Cass pursed her lips and scribbled something down. Turning her attention away from Liv, she said, ‘Your turn, guys. You know Liv better than anyone, right? How do you think she’d change without money?’

The other three looked at each other.

‘I’m sure she’d be OK,’ Hetty said slowly. ‘You know, it’d be different from what she’s used to, but she’d adapt. Get a job; she’s got a lot of talents. I’m sure she’d be fine.’

Duff rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. ‘I can’t really see that. Sorry, but I think you’d fall apart in the real world.’

‘For your information, I do live in the real world.’