‘A windmill,’ whispered Polly in fascination. ‘There really is a windmill in Lamonic Bibber!’
Yes, there it stood, silhouetted against the starry velvet night. Perhaps it had once been a jolly sight, pointing towards the sky like a lovely wooden ice cream as children and tulips danced around it doing their games. But no longer. Its red paint was peeling and faded. The wooden boards had rotted away in places, leaving dark gaping holes where I bet you anything there were rats. And the whole thing leaned lopsidedly towards the river, as if beckoning Polly to come closer. But Polly didn’t want to come closer. The more she stared at the windmill the less she liked it.
Over the bridge now, Polly! the stones whispered eagerly. Just a few more steps and then we’ll be there!
‘No way, things of clay!’ Polly told them with as much strength as she could muster. ‘I’m not a-goin’ anywhere near that old spooker, so unlucky, you lose! I’m a-goin’ homes right now!’
But you know what dreams are like – sometimes you just can’t control your own two feet, or your own zero feet if you are dreaming about being a snake. Before she knew it, Polly was gliding across the rickety wooden bridge, straight for the windmill. Its broken doorway gaped darkly ahead, as if it wished to swallow her up for a midnight feast. And then Polly saw the most awful thing of all . . .
Because high up in that windmill a face appeared at the window, a face that Polly knew only too well. A horrifying face with a big red beard, a face with two angry bloodshot eyes . . .
‘MR GUM AGAIN!’ shrieked Polly in utter terror. ‘IT’S MR GUM AN’ THAT CAN’T MEAN NOTHIN’ BUT EVILS!’
But her feet were still moving forward. With mounting horror she felt herself take a step towards the windmill. Then another.
Then another.
‘NOOOOOO!’ cried Polly, starting awake. Her heart was pounding and for one frightful moment she thought she was in the windmill’s building-y clutches – but no. She was lying in her own bed, safe as a rectangle.
‘Thank the Forces of Good,’ she panted. ‘It was all just a bad dreamer what wasn’t real whatsonever, so shut up if you say it was!’
But that’s when Polly saw that she was holding the stones in her hand.
‘No,’ she moaned. ‘No, it can’t be! I locked ’em up in my jewellery box ’fore I wents to bed!’
Trembling, she threw back the covers – and there was all the evidence she needed. Her bare feet were filthy with grass and mud from the riverside. Her ankle smelt like a badger. And she was wearing a souvenir T-shirt she’d never seen before:
‘So it wasn’t no proper normal nightmare after all,’ said Polly thoughtfully as dawn crept across the sky outside her window. ‘There’s some peculiar stuff a-goin’ on round here, an’ I intends to get to the bottom of it or my name’s not Jammy Grammy Lammy F’Huppa F’Huppa Berlin Stereo Eo Eo Lebb C’Yepp Nermonica Le Straypek De Grespin De Crespin De Spespin De Vespin De Whoop De Loop De Brunkle Merry Christmas Lenoir!’
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