Yael Eylat-Tanaka - The Book Of Values

Courage is scary. It means facing our fears. We all know that, but what exactly does this look like? Here are some examples. If you have been abused as a child, courage might involve standing up to the abuser, and letting it be known that you will no longer accept that treatment. Courage may mean distancing yourself or removing yourself from the situation.

Courage implies a measure of fear. If fear were not involved, no courage would be needed. It requires courage to embark on a Ph.D. program in your 50s – facing years of intense study, research, and experimentation, writing theses, defending them to intimidating professors, and having to stick to the program while the rest of your life waits in the wings.

If you wish to shed some pounds, courage is needed here, too. To abstain from favorite foods and favorite activities, or engage in increased exercise that may produce sore muscles and a long uphill battle requires courage. The courage to stick it out, stay the course, even when immediate results are not forthcoming.

The payoff for acts of courage is enormous. The quote, “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain” has been attributed variously to Ralph Waldo Emerson and Mark Twain. Regardless, I am not sure that the death of fear is certain, but certainly, self-esteem increases in direct measure to the courage that is needed in a given situation. Fear is hard wired into our physiology. It is part of our reptilian brain, and serves us well to protect us from danger. But most situations we are customarily afraid of are either nonexistent or sheer fantasy. Of the things that are properly fear evoking, facing that fear may well be the only path to the other side.

“Courtesy is a silver lining around the dark clouds of civilization; it is the best part of refinement and in many ways, an art of heroic beauty in the vast gallery of man’s cruelty and baseness.” ~ Bryant McGill

Courtesy is one of the ways we are distinguished from the lower animals. As the quote above indicates, courtesy elevates us from baseness, the cruel and survivalist tendencies of the uncivilized. Courtesy is the grease of social interactions. Courtesy is diplomacy and tact; it is wearing kid gloves when touching a sensitive subject. Courtesy is consideration. You may not like someone’s skirt or shoes, but do you gain anything by voicing your opinion? Even if your opinion were sought, what would you gain by being cruel?

Courtesy is gentleness toward our fellows. It is an awareness and empathy; it is a gift.

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