Margit Sandemo - The Ice People 43 - A Glimpse of Tenderness

“No, damn it, I’m a hundred per cent prepared to kill that confounded devil.”

“Is it really necessary for you to curse so uninhibitedly, Tova?”

“It most certainly is, it helps keep me motivated. No, I’ll try to drop the habit, I promise ... I think.”

They were quiet for a moment, listening to the sounds of the night around them. The chattering and subdued screams of birds, streams of water from the sudden thaw running down the sides of the mountain, a car in the far distance ...

Tova sat observing Marco’s fascinating face in the darkness. Most of his features were concealed by shadows, and all she could really discern were the contours of his face and his profile. But whatever she was able to see was so perfectly formed that it was almost painful for her to look at.

“Make me beautiful, Marco,” she said in a pathetic voice.

He had been lost in his own thoughts but now he turned to her in surprise. “What in the world for? We like you the way you are.”

“That’s the most egoistic answer I’ve ever received! Why do you like me that way? Because then you have me categorized? Humble and grateful Tova, who brightens up at the slightest attention she gets? I’m sure that’s very convenient for you all.”

His expression changed into a soft smile. “I’ve never thought of you as humble and grateful, Tova.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?” she said gloomily with a scowl. “I have only one dream in this life, Marco, and that is to be attractive.”

“But haven’t you discovered yet that being attractive and looking good are two different things? Gabriel, young as he is, has already realized that. And you cling to a ridiculous idea of an ideal beauty that wouldn’t suit you even if you got it!”

“But think of all the time you save if you’re pretty. Do you know how it feels when you are with a group of girls who want to get in somewhere and all the security guards see are the pretty ones, whom they let in right away after a few stupid flirtatious remarks, while somebody like me is left behind and as soon as they catch sight of me their expressions turn sour and you’re practically pushed in just so they can get rid of you.”

“So what you’re after are a few stupid flirtatious remarks from complete strangers?”

She sighed resignedly. “Marco, you’re preaching! I know your lecture by heart. Once somebody gets to know me they’ll love me for who I am and not for how I look. This is what I’ve been force-fed and it hasn’t increased my virtues. On the contrary, it just makes me more aggressive ...”

“Don’t shout,” he said warningly, covering her mouth. “You’ll wake up our friends and draw attention from our enemies.”

“I don’t give a damn!” she hissed through his fingers. Then she calmed down and he let go of her.

“Dear Tova, even if I wanted to help you change your appearance I don’t think I could. I’m not God, you know.”

She shot him a glance as though she had her own opinion about that. Then she said lightly and nonchalantly, “No, I’d better go in and replace Halkatla before she starts screwing around with poor Morahan. She’s dangerous, Marco! What if she were to seduce a man into going to bed with her one day?”

“Just let her try,” Marco smiled. “She had a miserable existence when she was alive, thanks to Tengel the Evil’s curse. No, I’m not so worried about Halkatla.”

“Neither am I. But what about the poor men?”

“She knows her boundaries. But it would be good if you went back to the car. You need to get some sleep.”

“Rubbish! Will you join me?”

“No, I’m staying out here. I want to speak to Rune about tomorrow’s schedule. As I said, I have a plan ...”

They parted, and Tova stood watching him go. His erect silhouette was outlined against the dark evening sky, and she let out a sob, a dry sob of hopeless longing.

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