Margit Sandemo - The Ice People 43 - A Glimpse of Tenderness

All three of them seemed so lonely, each in his own way. Morahan was dying, far from home. And the journey into death is one that all humans must make alone. You can’t take anyone with you as a companion.

Rune was one of a kind in this world. And alone in his own species. Because the other mandrakes were small plants that, although they too could be magical, didn’t possess any of his strength or human skills. But he wasn’t human, of course.

Marco, too, was a stranger in this world. Who could he possibly be close to?

Oh, how Tova wished she could be something for them, have the opportunity to care for them! She needed to do something for them!

But none of them wanted her ...

No one knew what was going on in Marco’s mind. His face was impenetrable. In the semi-darkness his eyes glowed as if he were awake, but he didn’t move. His gaze disappeared into the unknown distance.

Tova opened the car door.

“Where are you going?” Marco asked quietly.

“Outside. I can’t sleep and I thought I’d talk to Halkatla. Or Rune. Or both of them.”

“Just as long as you don’t go anywhere. As your protector I am completely responsible for you.”

“No creepy types are ever going to make a fool of me. But thanks for your concern anyway.”

There was rustling in the low trees around their parking place. It was the darkest time of night, but it wasn’t difficult to discern things, even though it was hard to make out the details.

Halkatla approached her from behind. “Hi, my twin soul, out for some fresh air?”

“Yes,” Tova giggled a little shyly. “Where is Rune?”

“Oh, I’ve just left him. My subtle invitations probably embarrassed him. I wanted to see whether he was made of the same material as other menfolk, but he wouldn’t let me get close to him. I don’t think he is.”

“Halkatla! You certainly beat me to the punch! Those were precisely my thoughts, even though I didn’t even dare think them to myself, let alone say them out loud.”

Halkatla gave her an amused and probing look. How well those two girls understood one another! “You want to mean something to a man so you choose the one who doesn’t stand much of a chance with others. Because he might be grateful to you. For my own part, I want to make up for all the things I didn’t get a chance to experience in my real life.”

“But with Rune?”

“With everyone,” Halkatla said cheerfully. “I’m going to have orgies and seduce men in their thousands!”

“But you can’t. You’re ...”

“You don’t know what I can or can’t do.”

With some apprehension Tova thought of Marco, who was “hers”.

She consoled herself with the thought that neither she nor Halkatla would ever stand a chance with him.

“I’ve never had the chance to experience it,” Halkatla sighed.

“What?” Tova asked absentmindedly and against her better judgment.

“Felt a man inside me. Have you?”

“No,” Tova had to admit shamefacedly. “And I probably won’t ever feel it. Anyway, there’s only one that I want.”

“Marco! Don’t you think I have eyes? Forget him!”

“If only I had been attractive!”

“Rubbish! What does appearance have to do with it?”

“Everything! But only someone who has experienced as many painful rejections as I have would truly understand that! And if you say, ‘That’s not what counts!’ I’ll hit you! I’ve never befriended a boy long enough for him to discover how beautiful I am on the inside. Whatever that means. No one but Nataniel, and he has Ellen. Anyway, I never wanted Nataniel. There was no erotic spark of any kind between us.”

Halkatla had been listening to her eagerly as she spoke, absorbing as much as she could about that exciting topic, eroticism. And a very determined look showed in her fascinating, witch-like face.

Tova was almost frightened. “Halkatla, I have to warn you. Do you recall what was said about you? That Tengel the Evil was probably especially interested in destroying you? Because you are a deserter. You were one of those he was saving for the final phase of the battle. You waited for six hundred years. And just before it all broke out you changed your mind.”

“Thanks to you, yes. I don’t think he cares much for you, either.”

“No, he most certainly doesn’t! Perhaps we should be more careful?”

They cast secret glances around them. But the night was peaceful. “If only I could be allowed to stay in this life,” Halkatla whispered.

Marco approached from the car, which was parked a good distance from them. Halkatla looked at him somewhat anxiously. Quickly and somewhat falteringly she said, “Now you are resuming your duty of watching over Tova I suppose there isn’t any further need of me?”

They could sense deep-felt fear in every syllable she uttered.

But Marco said, “Do you recall what was decided about you? That your trustworthiness was to be tested once in the course of our journey to the Valley of the Ice People. You are being tested now. But do you know? We like your company. So if you wish you may continue on this dangerous mission with us.”

Halkatla let out a shriek of relief and joy and was about to fling her arms around Marco’s neck, but that wouldn’t have been appropriate at all – even she knew that.

Tova was happy to hear it, too. And the girls could embrace one another as much as they wanted.

“Marco, I would like a private word with you,” said Tova, breathlessly.

“Now, now,” said Halkatla, “Don’t you try to seduce him.”

“Get in the car and sit with Morahan, Halkatla,” Marco said calmly. “He needs to be under constant observation.”

Tova couldn’t help firing a revengeful response back at her, “Watch out so you don’t seduce him!”

“Can’t you girls talk about anything else?” Marco sighed.

“Oh, yes,” Tova answered saucily. “I could talk about how we are on a deadly mission that we don’t stand a chance of surviving, that several of our allies and family members have already been killed after just twenty-four hours, and ...”

“Okay, you win!” Marco smiled, and Halkatla waved at them cheerfully as she returned to the car.

Tova and Marco sat down on one of the worn benches in the parking area. He leaned his elbows on the coarse picnic table.

“Where is Rune?”

“Halkatla scared him off I suppose: she was becoming a bit too indiscreet.”

Marco held back a sigh and then said, “So you wanted a word with me?”

Tova tried her best to forget the fatal effect his presence had on her and said lightly, “I wanted to talk to you about Morahan ...” She began by appealing to him. “Marco, you cured the fatally ill Marit of Svelten and gave Rune human life ...”

“That wasn’t my doing,” Marco interjected quickly. “It was specially chosen black angels.”

“Okay, well, Marit of Svelten, then. Can’t you also help Morahan?”

“Is that your wish?” he asked with a searching gaze.

“Of course! He doesn’t deserve to die so young.”

“No, he seems rather sympathetic. But I don’t think I can, Tova. As you know, I’m more human than black angel now. “

“But couldn’t you try?”

“And give him false hope? Furthermore, the process would be utterly demanding, for me as well as him.”

“Especially for you, I imagine,” she said.

“Yes, and when I don’t have my full power ... but perhaps we can try afterwards. I’ll be back to my old self then.”

“If there is an afterwards. But Morahan can’t wait that long, you know that.”

“Yes, I know. But no, I don’t dare to embark on an experiment like that. To reverse the dying process at such an advanced stage is beyond my capacity right now. But Tova, you mustn’t doubt that we are capable of getting through the very difficult mission that lies ahead of us. If you lose faith, then you’ve lost most of the battle.”