Array The griffin classics - The Collected Works of Honore de Balzac

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THE HUMAN COMEDY
PREFACE
STUDIES OF MANNERS IN THE 19TH CENTURY
Scenes from Private Life
AT THE SIGN OF THE CAT AND RACKET
AT THE SIGN OF THE CAT AND RACKET
THE BALL AT SCEAUX
LETTERS OF TWO BRIDES
THE PURSE
THE PURSE
MODESTE MIGNON
A START IN LIFE
ALBERT SAVARUS
VENDETTA
A SECOND HOME
DOMESTIC PEACE
MADAME FIRMIANI
STUDY OF A WOMAN
THE IMAGINARY MISTRESS
A DAUGHTER OF EVE
THE MESSAGE
THE GRAND BRETECHE
LA GRENADIERE
THE DESERTED WOMAN
HONORINE
BEATRIX
GOBSECK
A WOMAN OF THIRTY
FATHER GORIOT
COLONEL CHABERT
THE ATHEIST'S MASS
THE COMMISSION IN LUNACY
THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT
ANOTHER STUDY OF WOMAN
Scenes from Provincial Life
URSULE MIROUET
EUGENIE GRANDET
The Celibates
PIERRETTE
THE VICAR OF TOURS
THE TWO BROTHERS
Parisians in the Country
THE ILLUSTRIOUS GAUDISSART
THE MUSE OF THE DEPARTMENT
The Jealousies of a Country Town
THE OLD MAID
THE COLLECTION OF ANTIQUITIES
Lost Illusions
TWO POETS
A DISTINGUISHED PROVINCIAL AT PARIS
EVE AND DAVID
Scenes from Parisian Life
The Thirteen
FERRAGUS
THE DUCHESSE DE LANGEAIS
THE GIRL WITH THE GOLDEN EYES
THE FIRM OF NUCINGEN
Scenes from a Courtesan's Life
ESTHER HAPPY: HOW A COURTESAN CAN LOVE
WHAT LOVE COSTS AN OLD MAN
THE END OF EVIL WAYS
VAUTRIN'S LAST AVATAR
SECRETS OF THE PRINCESSE DE CADIGNAN
FACINO CANE
SARRASINE
PIERRE GRASSOU
The Poor Relations
COUSIN BETTY
COUSIN PONS
A MAN OF BUSINESS
A PRINCE OF BOHEMIA
GAUDISSART II
BUREAUCRACY
UNCONSCIOUS COMEDIANS
THE LESSER BOURGEOISIE
The Seamy Side of History
MADAME DE LA CHANTERIE
THE INITIATE
Scenes from Political Life
Scenes from Military Life
Scenes from Country Life
PHILOSOPHICAL STUDIES
ANALYTICAL STUDIES

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surpassed our expectations. It was composed of radishes, pink and

black, gherkins, anchovies, butter and olives for hors-d’oeuvre; a

succulent soup of rice, bearing testimony to maternal solicitude,

for we recognized therein a delicious taste of poultry; indeed, by

acknowledgment of the new member, we learned that the gibbets of a

fine stew prepared by the hands of Madame Clapart herself had been

judiciously inserted into the family soup-pot with a care that is

never taken except in such households.

Item: the said gibbets inclosed in a sea of jelly.

Item: a tongue of beef with tomatoes, which rendered us all

tongue-tied automatoes.

Item: a compote of pigeons with caused us to think the angels had

had a finger in it.

Item: a timbale of macaroni surrounded by chocolate custards.

Item: a dessert composed of eleven delicate dishes, among which we

remarked (in spite of the tipsiness caused by sixteen bottles of

the choicest wines) a compote of peaches of august and mirobolant

delicacy.

The wines of Roussillon and those of the banks of the Rhone

completely effaced those of Champagne and Burgundy. A bottle of

maraschino and another of kirsch did, in spite of the exquisite

coffee, plunge us into so marked an oenological ecstasy that we

found ourselves at a late hour in the Bois de Boulogne instead of

our domicile, where we thought we were.

In the statutes of our Order there is one rule which is rigidly

enforced; namely, to allow all candidates for the privilege of

Basoche to limit the magnificence of their feast of welcome to the

length of their purse; for it is publicly notorious that no one

delivers himself up to Themis if he has a fortune, and every clerk

is, alas, sternly curtailed by his parents. Consequently, we

hereby record with the highest praise the liberal conduct of

Madame Clapart, widow, by her first marriage, of Monsieur Husson,

father of the candidate, who is worthy of the hurrahs which we

gave for her at dessert.

To all of which we hereby set our hands.

[Signed by all the clerks.]

Three clerks had already been deceived by the Book, and three real “receptions of welcome,” were recorded on this imposing register.

The day after the arrival of each neophyte, the little sub-clerk (the errand-boy and “gutter-jumper”) laid upon the new-comer’s desk the “Archives Architriclino-Basochiennes,” and the clerks enjoyed the sight of his countenance as he studied its facetious pages. Inter pocula each candidate had learned the secret of the farce, and the revelation inspired him with the desire to hoax his successor.

We see now why Oscar, become in his turn participator in the hoax, called out to the little clerk, “Forward, the book!”

Ten minutes later a handsome young man, with a fine figure and pleasant face, presented himself, asked for Monsieur Desroches, and gave his name without hesitation to Godeschal.

“I am Frederic Marest,” he said, “and I come to take the place of third clerk.”

“Monsieur Husson,” said Godeschal to Oscar, “show monsieur his seat and tell him about the customs of the office.”

The next day the new clerk found the register lying on his desk. He took it up, but after reading a few pages he began to laugh, said nothing to the assembled clerks, and laid the book down again.

“Messieurs,” he said, when the hour of departure came at five o’clock, “I have a cousin who is head clerk of the notary Maitre Leopold Hannequin; I will ask his advice as to what I ought to do for my welcome.”

“That looks ill,” cried Godeschal, when Frederic had gone, “he hasn’t the cut of a novice, that fellow!”

“We’ll get some fun out of him yet,” said Oscar.

CHAPTER IX, LA MARQUISE DE LAS FLORENTINAS Y CABIROLOS

The following day, at two o’clock, a young man entered the office, whom Oscar recognized as Georges Marest, now head-clerk of the notary Hannequin.

“Ha! here’s the friend of Ali pacha!” he exclaimed in a flippant way.

“Hey! you here, Monsieur l’ambassadeur!” returned Georges, recollecting Oscar.

“So you know each other?” said Godeschal, addressing Georges.

“I should think so! We got into a scrape together,” replied Georges, “about two years ago. Yes, I had to leave Crottat and go to Hannequin in consequence of that affair.”

“What was it?” asked Godeschal.

“Oh, nothing!” replied Georges, at a sign from Oscar. “We tried to hoax a peer of France, and he bowled us over. Ah ca! so you want to jockey my cousin, do you?”

“We jockey no one,” replied Oscar, with dignity; “there’s our charter.”

And he presented the famous register, pointing to a place where sentence of banishment was passed on a refractory who was stated to have been forced, for acts of dishonesty, to leave the office in 1788.

Georges laughed as he looked through the archives.

“Well, well,” he said, “my cousin and I are rich, and we’ll give you a fete such as you never had before, — something to stimulate your imaginations for that register. To-morrow (Sunday) you are bidden to the Rocher de Cancale at two o’clock. Afterwards, I’ll take you to spend the evening with Madame la Marquise de las Florentinas y Cabirolos, where we shall play cards, and you’ll see the elite of the women of fashion. Therefore, gentleman of the lower courts,” he added, with notarial assumption, “you will have to behave yourselves, and carry your wine like the seigneurs of the Regency.”

“Hurrah!” cried the office like one man. “Bravo! very well! vivat! Long live the Marests!”

“What’s all this about?” asked Desroches, coming out from his private office. “Ah! is that you, Georges? I know what you are after; you want to demoralize my clerks.”

So saying, he withdrew into his own room, calling Oscar after him.

“Here,” he said, opening his cash-box, “are five hundred francs. Go to the Palais, and get from the registrar a copy of the decision in Vandernesse against Vandernesse; it must be served to-night if possible. I have promised a PROD of twenty francs to Simon. Wait for the copy if it is not ready. Above all, don’t let yourself be fooled; for Derville is capable, in the interest of his clients, to stick a spoke in our wheel. Count Felix de Vandernesse is more powerful than his brother, our client, the ambassador. Therefore keep your eyes open, and if there’s the slightest hitch come back to me at once.”

Oscar departed with the full intention of distinguishing himself in this little skirmish, — the first affair entrusted to him since his installation as second clerk.

After the departure of Georges and Oscar, Godeschal sounded the new clerk to discover the joke which, as he thought, lay behind this Marquise de las Florentinas y Cabirolos. But Frederic, with the coolness and gravity of a king’s attorney, continued his cousin’s hoax, and by his way of answering, and his manner generally, he succeeded in making the office believe that the marquise might really be the widow of a Spanish grandee, to whom his cousin Georges was paying his addresses. Born in Mexico, and the daughter of Creole parents, this young and wealthy widow was noted for the easy manners and habits of the women of those climates.

“She loves to laugh, she loves to sing, she loves to drink like me!” he said in a low voice, quoting the well-known song of Beranger. “Georges,” he added, “is very rich; he has inherited from his father (who was a widower) eighteen thousand francs a year, and with the twelve thousand which an uncle has just left to each of us, he has an income of thirty thousand. So he pays his debts, and gives up the law. He hopes to be Marquis de las Florentinas, for the young widow is marquise in her own right, and has the privilege of giving her titles to her husband.”

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