Jessa James - Pretend I'm Yours

I’m so stunned, you could knock me over with a feather. I honestly can’t remember my father ever not drinking.

“Yeah, we usually have some people over from church,” Jax says. “You really oughta come.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rosa hugging Sarah. Sarah looks uncertain at first, but then she rests her head on Rosa’s shoulder.

“We’ll think about it,” I say.

“Shoot, I gotta go,” Jax says. “I have to shower before I head into work.”

I lift my brows. “Yeah?”

“Yep. Gotta get home. Listen, I’ll call you, and we’ll go get something to eat.”

I have to say, whatever dad and Rosa did with Jax, he turned out okay. He strides through the living room with confidence. I nod noncommittally to his back.

“We should go too,” I say.

“So soon?” Rosa protests, looking crestfallen.

“Yeah, you know. Work,” I lie. I’m a remote business analyst, which is nerd speak for ‘I work my own hours’.

She tsks again, but doesn’t make a fuss. She just gives Sarah a final hug. “Good bye, reinita .”

“Bye?” Sarah says, looking a little sad when Rosa stands up.

My heart twists in my chest when I realize that Sarah hasn’t had much female attention in her short life.

“Think about Sunday,” my dad says. “It’s a pot luck, so bring a dessert from the grocery store.”

He winks at me, and I have to work to keep my expression neutral. Who is this thin, yoga loving, non-drinking hippy and what did he do with my dad?

“Ay!” Rosa says to him. To me, she says, “You don’t bring anything other than your little pobrecita .”

“Alright. We’ll think about it,” I repeat, bending down and scooping Sarah up.

“Here, I should walk you to the door,” Rosa says, clucking over me like a mother hen.

“Bye,” I say, turning and walking out of there.

Sarah mumbles a bunch of gibberish, waving to Rosa. I see Rosa clutching at her chest when I nudge open the door.

I manage to get halfway to the car before Sarah’s face crumples.

“Lady!” she wails, pointing at the house. “Go back!”

I don’t know what’s with Sarah bonding with people lately; first the landlady, now Rosa. It’s very difficult to tuck Sarah into the car, fastening her in.

Once I close the back door, I take a second to breathe. I glance at the house, and see my dad and Rosa staring at me. Rosa raises her hand in a halfhearted wave.

I return her wave, then get in the car. Sarah is screaming at top volume as I pull away, filled with a type of dread I cannot name.

4

It’s late Monday afternoon as I pull my ancient Toyota Camry up behind my house. It’s the start of my weekend, as I am off Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

It’s been a remarkably long week at the library, with the (head boss) insisting that we become more efficient rather than hiring for the two empty positions we have. I spent the whole week just holding my breath and trying not to be noticed.

So as I get home and unlock my front door, I’m particularly glad to be here. Doubly so when I’m greeted by my menagerie.

“Hi!!” I sing to Morris, who happens to be the first to shove his nose under my hand. “Hi, guys!”

Zack pushes Morris out of the way, and Sadie crowds in too. I close the door and put my purse on its hook, then slide my flats off and into the corner.

“Who wants a treat?” I say.

Zack and Morris go nuts, which makes Sadie go crazy. I grin as I go through the living room and into the kitchen, making a beeline for the treat jar on the kitchen counter.

I make everyone sit, making sure to tap the floor with my commands so that Sadie gets to participate too. While the dogs are eating their treats, I pull out Muffin’s treat bag.

The mere sound of me opening it has Muffin rubbing against my legs, purring. I give her a treat, then rub her behind the ears as she chows down.

I head back into my living room, collapsing on the low couch. I pick a thread off of my bubblegum pink dress, sighing. It’s nice to be home.

I hear the door close with a muffled bang next door, I bite my lip. I’m so curious about what Charlie and Sarah have been up to in the past few days; I’ve barely seen or heard anything from them since they moved in.

I think about Charlie, with his oversized frame and piercing green eyes, and I get a chill. I don’t know exactly what it is about him that I find so intriguing. Maybe it’s his stoicism, or maybe it’s something about the way he looks at Sarah. Protective, but also a little disconnected emotionally.

Then there is the fact that a few of the rusting machines in the back yard keep turning up on the porch, cleaned and working anew. I can only guess that he’s the one behind it, but I’m not sure why.

I don’t know. But either way, it makes him a big puzzle that I can’t wait to put together. I’ve got to get the gist of him, so that I can find something else to worry about.

Standing up, I head into the kitchen. I’ve got a huge pitcher of sun tea that I’ve been steeping in the window since dawn.

If I were a really good neighbor, I would pop next door with that tea , I tell myself.

Peeling off my white cardigan, I grab the pitcher of tea and three plastic cups, then head next door. I take a deep breath as I stand in front of his door.

I can do this.

I knock. I hear Sarah running for the front door before Charlie opens it partway, so Sarah can’t get out. He squints out at me, a little confused.

“Yes?” he says.

“Hey,” I say, showcasing my pitcher of tea. “I just… I made some tea. I wanted to make sure you were settling in alright. You know, being neighborly.”

Sarah shrieks at the top of her lungs, and Charlie opens the door to let her see what’s going on.

“Laken!” she shouts. “Juice?”

“Yeah, it looks like she brought juice,” Charlie says, stepping back. “Come on in, Larkin.”

“Right,” I say, stepping inside. “Ooof.”

Sarah throws her entire body at my legs, hugging me. “Laken!”

I smile down at her, but Charlie carefully tries to disengage her.

“Come on, Sarah,” he says. “Come in the kitchen so Larkin can pour you some tea.”

He picks Sarah up, carrying her toward the kitchen. I close the door and follow him, and set the pitcher down on the kitchen counter. As I pour the tea, I look around.

“It’s a little eerie how similar my side of the house is,” I say.

Charlie glances at me, his brow furrowing a bit. He accepts a plastic cup from me, taking a sip before passing it to Sarah.

“Be careful,” he warns Sarah, who takes a big gulp and then sets the cup on the floor. Then silence stretches.

Silence makes me beyond nervous.

“So, um…” I say, swirling the tea around in the bottom of my cup. “Why did you two move here, again?”

He squints at me, and for a second I think he’s about to throw me out of his side of the house. Then he shrugs.

“We have family here,” he says.

I’m so curious about where they came from… and who they’re NOT bringing up… especially Sarah’s mom. I bite my bottom lip, hoping that he will give me a little more.

“Good juice,” Sarah says, pointing to her cup.

Charlie glances at her, smiling faintly. It’s the first time I’ve seen any kind of positive feeling from him, that’s for sure.

“So, you’re trying to… like, reconnect with your family?” I ask.

There’s that pause again, that furrowing of Charlie’s brow. “I guess so. Sarah’s never really spent any time around this side of the family.”

So that meant that she had spent time around the other side? My brain does gymnastics, trying to figure out what their story is.