Jessa James - Hot as Hell

It took everything he had not to slam the door behind him. Dr. Hersh was nice enough, but he got straight to the point.

The older Asian man peered over a pair of rimless glasses and made Cade feel like he could read Cade’s darkest secrets.

“Tell me about the incident with your team in Montana,” Dr. Hersh said within two minutes of Cade sitting down.

“Crew,” Cade had corrected.

“Alright,” Dr. Hersh replied. He leaned back in his camel-colored chair and waited.

Cade shrugged. “There’s not much to say. I’m guessing you have the reports from it.”

“I do,” the doctor said. “But I want to hear what you have to say about it.”

“Not anything new that isn’t in the reports.” Cade looked around the office. It was clinical and sterile.

“Can you tell me the emotions you’re feeling now when you think about it?” the doctor asked.

Cade looked at him bluntly. “Sad,” he said.

“Sad,” the doctor repeated. He held Cade’s gaze and didn’t make any notes. “Anything else? Anger? Confusion? Guilt?”

“Why should I feel guilty?” Cade snapped.

“I don’t know. I’m just giving you some options. Why don’t we talk about another subject for awhile?”

Yeah. Why don’t we?

“Is there anything in particular you’d like to discuss?” Dr. Hersh asked.

“No.”

“Alright. How about your romantic life? Many people have strong feelings about that. Is there anyone special in your life?”

Cade barked out a laugh. “Hardly.”

“You seem upset about that.”

“Why should I be upset?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

Cade sighed. “You just started working with the firehouse, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Ever had a firefighter … patient before?” Cade asked. He hated to use that word.

“Not before my contract with the firehouse, no.”

“Then maybe you don’t know, but firefighters don’t really have a problem getting women.”

“I see.” This time the doctor did make a note.

Cade shifted. That wasn’t the response he’d expected. “So … if you’re asking if I’m hard up for a date or whatever, the answer’s no.”

“That wasn’t what I asked,” the doctor said. “Why do you think that’s what you inferred?”

“I don’t know,” Cade said, exasperated as he crossed his arms.

“So, I’m led to believe you’ve had a generous amount of sexual partners,” Dr. Hersh said.

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you’re afraid of intimacy?”

Cade glared at him. “Didn’t I just tell you that I’ve slept with a lot of women?”

“That wasn’t what I asked. Sex and intimacy can be mutually exclusive. And I’m getting the message that you lean heavily toward the sex-only side.”

Cade seethed below the surface, but he gritted his teeth and refused to say anything more.

“Do you have any interest in returning to the subject about your team’s deaths in Montana?”

“No,” Cade said coldly. He didn’t bother to correct him this time.

“Alright. Mr. Charles, I’m going to recommend medical leave for you.” Dr. Hersh began writing notes quickly on his pad.

“Medical leave? What? But I haven’t even started at this company yet!”

“Mr. Charles, let me make this clear. You can either continue to see me, or you can rethink your position with the company. It’s your choice.”

“You really think they’re going to pay for me to sit around and do nothing but talk to some shrink about my feelings?”

“Actually, that’s exactly what the fire captain has told me he’s willing to do. And I prefer the term psychiatrist.”

Cade let out a heavy breath as he carefully clicked the door shut behind him. “Mr. Charles?” the receptionist asked. “Would you like to schedule your next appointment now or—”

“I’ll call you,” Cade said as he grabbed his jacket. He felt the dark storm that brewed inside him begin to grow.

As Cade slammed his car door and started toward his new, tiny apartment, he spotted Lily across the street burdened with three shopping bags. Something about seeing her lifted his spirits. She nearly tripped on the uneven sidewalk, stopped and glared at the ground.

“Hey! What’s up?” he asked as he rolled up beside her.

She made a face. “My car crapped out again, so I’m walking home.”

“Walking? In those?” he asked and looked pointedly at her heels.

“Oh, yeah,” she said. “There was a special event at the bakery today, and you know French men. ‘A woman should always be in heels.’ At least when they’re representing Jean-Michel’s croissants, at least.”

“I actually don’t know French men that well. But can I give you a lift?”

She looked skeptical and shifted her weight to the side.

“Come on,” he said. “It’s on my way, anyway.”

Lily sighed and nodded. As Cade leaned over to push open the door, he noticed the top button of her blouse had come undone from carrying the bags. Beneath the ironed white shirt he could see the top of a light pink lace bra.

Kind of like the one she was wearing when we hooked up, he thought.

He could still clearly imagine the pinkness of her nipple, how it had hardened instantly when he wrapped his lips around it.

Cade took the bags from her and set them on the small bench seat in the back. As she climbed in, he tried his best not to stare at her long legs that jutted out from the fitted black skirt.

Lily looked at him, embarrassed, as she realized her top was undone and tried to discreetly button it while she buckled herself in.

He stared straight ahead and clenched the wheel tightly.

“Where to?” he asked.

“Oh. Right. You don’t know where I live anymore. Southeast Hoyt,” she said.

“Fancy.”

“Not really,” she said. “You’ll see.”

Lily chattered nervously as he made his way toward the Richmond neighborhood. She talked about the events coming up at the bakery, Jean-Michel’s obsession with cleaning up the graffiti on the building, and plans for Easter brunch with friends, but Cade couldn’t find anything to contribute.

“Well, this is it,” she said.

“You live at a mechanic shop?” he asked.

“No! I live in the apartment above it.”

“Oh. Isn’t it noisy?”

“During the day, probably. But by the time I get home they’re usually done.”

Cade reached back for the bags, uncertain whether to offer to carry them up or not. It would be the polite thing to do, but would she think he had ulterior motives?

“Would you like to come up?” she asked so quickly it sounded like a single word.

“What?”

“I mean, I was going to order some Chinese takeout. So…”

“Didn’t you just get a bunch of groceries?”

“Not really. This is all stuff to practice patisseries at home.”

“What happened to the veggie and coffee kick you were on?”

She blushed slightly. “It’s a cheat day.”

Cade was hesitant. “I don’t know…”

“Oh, come on,” she said, suddenly insistent. “We can order from that place you used to love. Yan Yan, right?”

She remembered that?

“Okay,” he said. “You know I can’t say no to Yan Yan’s.”

It’s not like you have anything else to look forward to at home besides a microwave dinner.

He followed Lily up the narrow staircase, the smell of grease in the air. Her ass was right in his face, swaying rhythmically side to side. When Cade realized he’d started to stiffen, he forced himself to look at his feet.

When she opened the door, it was to a warm, cozy apartment worlds away from the dark stairwell. And it was totally her.