Jessa James - Handy

But then he took one look at me and scowled. Maybe he hadn’t heard me properly? And like a fool I kept on waving and said hello again. There was no mistaking my greeting this time around.

I was about to make my way over and introduce myself when the man grunted something—which I was pretty sure wasn’t anything nice—slammed his truck’s door and walked toward his house.

Not even a hello?

I stopped waving, my arm still in the air, and watched him go. In a few strides he was up on his porch, disappearing inside. The front door crashed closed. Clearly looks didn’t automatically equate to niceness. What a dick!

He’d definitely seen me, right? Not like you could miss someone standing in the middle of the street hollering at you. I almost wanted to go knock on his door to make sure that I hadn’t suddenly turned invisible. But quickly shut that thought down. There was no need to get worked up about it. I mean everyone had a bad day once in a while. Yeah that was probably it. I should cut him some slack, even if he had been a grade A jerk. I pushed the thought of my moody handsome neighbor aside and studied my precious new property again.

I had my work cut out for me, and I wasn’t going to get anywhere by standing out in the street. The sooner I got started the sooner I’d have a cute little garden brimming with welcoming blooms out front that I could admire from the porch-swing I’d always wanted.

From my truck I picked up the first of the boxes, selected the right key from the small bunch the realtor had given me, and took a deep breath. The path needed weeding I noticed and the paintwork on the porch banister was flaking off. But it was all cosmetic. An easy fix.

Suddenly the smile slipped from my face and I let out a scream when my left foot disappeared, going right through the second step of the wooden porch. Maybe I had developed superpowers.

The box tumbled from my arms and the keys went flying through the air. I braced myself for the inevitable fall and collapsed in a dusty heap, splinters making homes for themselves in my palms. I hissed like a cat at the stinging pain.

The distinctive earthly smell of rot wafted into the air and suffocating dust motes flew around my head. I coughed. The wind partly knocked out of me, all the while my leg, up to my knee, remained trapped between the planks.

Shit . This wasn’t the start to my new life that I had in mind.

It took a painful amount of time to extricate myself from the porch, because each time I moved or shifted my weight the threatening creak of the timbers beneath my trapped body terrified me. I knew if I wasn’t careful I was likely to end up falling all the way through. Lost forever in the dark. Would my body even be found, I thought grimly? It was almost felt like the house had come alive and was trying to eat me whole.

I debated whether or not to call for help. Surely my neighbor would take pity on me and come to my rescue? But then I remembered the rude way he’d looked at me and thought better of it. I didn’t need his help.

Eventually I crawled free, picked some of the splinters that I could see from my hands, and started on the task of finding the keys. I’d lost track of where they’d flown off too. I took one look at the long straggly uncut grass in the front and just knew they’d be in there, somewhere.

With a groan I inched down the porch steps, making sure to keep to the sides—I didn’t know how far the rot extended—and started the impromptu treasure hunt.

The sun was setting on Chestnut Grove and the streetlights did not help illuminate the shadowy depths of the long grass. It felt like forever searching back and forth and I still hadn’t found them, thankfully it was a relatively warm night and I wasn’t in danger of freezing to death. With my puny little torch light on my phone I scoured the ground, careful not to step into the little presents some critters had left behind.

“Late night weeding?”

Startled I spun to the sound of a voice coming from the sidewalk. I saw the familiar red and black pattern from earlier; my neighbor standing under the weak yellow street light.

“Not quite,” I replied gruffly wanting to pay him back for his own rudeness earlier, and returned to my task. I wanted nothing more than to find my keys, get inside, unpack some essentials, shower the day from me and go to bed. Tomorrow I’d start fresh, start again. The mishaps of today were simply a little bit of bad luck. Nothing to be overly worried about.

“Whatever you are looking for you aren’t going to find it with that light. It’s no better than a flickering firefly.”

“Yeah, well, it’s all I have,” I replied and stood up placing my hands on my lower back to soothe the ache that had been getting increasingly worse. Irritated I turned to Dick. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“With that attitude, nothing,” he said. Dick shrugged and stepped of the sidewalk presumably to go back to his fully intact, perfect little rot-free house.

Then I spotted something in his hand. A rather industrial looking black cylinder.

“Wait.” Quickly before he could get across the road I caught up to him. I pointed to the object in his hand. “Is that a flashlight?”

“Depends,” Dick quipped.

I frowned. What kind of answer was that?

“It either is or it isn’t!”

“Now it’s definitely not one.”

Before I could make myself see sense—he was practically twice my size and a stranger to boot—I lunged for the torch he clearly had in his hand.

“Woah there.”

The bastard actually smiled and like a child that did not want to give up his toy he put it out of reach. His arm went vertical, sticking up in the night air with the huge torch clamped in his meaty fist.

Instinctively I jumped for it. I didn’t even come close.

“Give it up, you know I need it. The sooner you help me out the sooner you can go home and brood some more.”

He laughed again and I almost kicked him in his shins.

“Come on, dude, you obviously saw that I needed help and came out to give me that, right? Being neighborly and all?”

He shrugged.

“Okay you want me to beg? Please, can I borrow your flashlight? I lost my keys and all I want to do is go inside and sleep… this hasn’t been the greatest day, you know?”

Slowly his arm sagged a little, he no longer had it locked in place and gravity began to help me out a little.

From the look on his face, he clearly did not want to help me. His stubborn eyes flicked from my face to my house behind me. I took my chance while he looked away and jumped again, this time reaching the target and catching him off guard. I yanked the torch out of his hand and sprinted away.

“Hey!”

I had no idea what I was thinking, it was foolish and silly, it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be able to catch up to me to get it back. But nonetheless I clicked the torch on and was momentarily dazzled by the blinding white light as I ran towards my patch of grass.

In seconds with the help of the torch that seemed to be powered by the sun I found the keys, glittering in a tuft of turf. “Yes!” I exclaimed and scooped them up tight in my hand. I swirled around to find Dick’s unamused face, glowering at me.

Trying to diffuse the situation I smiled. “Thanks, I found them. You can have your torch back now.”

“Oh really I can? Gee, thank you.”

“There’s really no need to be so rude. I said thank you!”

“Yeah after you stole my torch!”