William Shakespeare - The Complete Apocryphal Works of William Shakespeare - All 17 Rare Plays in One Edition

He knew no wrong could spite a jealous man

More than the hateful naming of the horn.

FRANKLIN

Suppose ‘tis true, yet is it dangerous,

To follow him whom he hath lately hurt.

ALICE

A fault confessed is more than half amends;

But men of such ill spirit as yourself

ARDEN

I pray thee, gentle Franklin, hold thy peace:

in killing a man?

GREENE

I think we shall never do it;

Let us give it over.

SHAKEBAG

Hay, zounds! We’ll kill him,

Though we be hanged at his door for our labor.

WILL

Thou knowest, Greene, that I have lived in

London this twelve years,

Where I have made some go upon wooden legs,

For taking the wall on me;

Divers with silver noses for saying

‘there goes Black WILL

‘

2 have cracked as many blades,

As thou hast done nuts.

GREENE

O monstrous lie!

WILL

Faith, in a manner I have.

The bawdy houses have paid me tribute;

There durst not a whore set up, unless she have agreed

With me first for opening her shop windows.

For a cross word of a tapster,

I have pierced one barrel after another, with my dagger,

And held him by the ears till all his beer hath run out.

In thames street a brewer’s cart was like to have run

Over me: I made no more ado, but went to the clerk

And cut all the notches off his tallies

And beat them about his head.

I and my company have taken the constable from his watch,

And carried him about the fields on a coltstaff.

I have broken a sergeant’s head with his own mace,

And bailed whom I list with my sword and buckler.

All the temporary alehouses’ men would stand every morning,

With a quart pot in his hand,

Saying, ‘Will it please your worship drink?

He that had not done so, had been sure to have had his

Sign pulled down and his lattice borne away the next night.

To conclude, what have I not done? Yet cannot do this;

Doubtless he is preserved by miracle.

(here enters Alice and MICHAEL

GREENE

Hence, Will, here comes mistress ARDEN

ALICE

Ah, gentle Michael, art thou sure they’re friends?

MICHAEL

Why, I saw them both when they both shook hands.

And railed on Frankiin that was cause of all.

No sooner came the surgeon in at doors,

But my master took to his purse and gave him money.

And, to conclude, sent me to bring you word

That Mosbie, Franklin, Bradshaw, Adam Fowl,

With divers of his neighbors and his friends,

Will come and sup with you at our house this night.

ALICE

Ah, gentle Michael, run thou back again,

And, when my husband walks into the fair,

Bid Mosbie steal from him and come to me;

And this night shall thou and Susan be made sure.

MICHAEL

I’ll go tell him.

ALICE

And as thou goest, tell john cook of our guests,

And bid him lay it on, spare for no cost. (Exit MICHAEL

WILL

Nay, and there be such cheer, we will bid ourselves.

Mistress Arden, Dick Greene and I do mean to sup with you.

ALICE

And welcome shall you be. Ah, gentlemen,

How missed you of your purpose yesternight?

GREENE

‘twas ‘long of Shakebag, that unlucky villain.

SHAKEBAG

Thou dost me wrong; I did as much as any.

WILL

Nay then, mistress Alice, I’ll tell you how it was:

When he should have locked with both his hilts,

He in a bravery flourished o’er his head;

With that comes Franklin at him lustily,

And hurts the slave; with that he slinks away.

Now his way had been to have come hand and feet,

One and two round, at his costard.

He like a fool bears his sword point half a yard out

Of danger. I lie here for my life

If the devil come, and he have no more strength than fence

He shall never beat me from this ward,

I’ll stand to it; a buckler in a skilful hand

Is as good as a castle;

Nay, ‘tis better than a sconce, for I have tried it.

Mosbie perceiving this, began to faint.

With that comes Arden with his arming sword,

And thrust him through the shoulder in a trice.

ALICE

Ay, but I wonder why you both stood still.

Sweet Mosbie, hide thy arm, it kills my heart.

MOSBIE

Ay, mistress Arden, this is your favor.

ALICE

Ah say not so for when I saw thee hurt,

I could have took the weapon thou let’st fall,

And run at Arden; for I have sworn

That these mine eyes, offended with his sight,

Shall never close till Arden’s be shut up.

This night I rose and walked about the chamber,

And twice or thrice I thought to have murdered him.

MOSBIE

What, in the night? Then had we been undone.

ALICE

Why, how long shall he live?

MOSBIE

Faith, Alice, no longer than this night. -

Black Will and Shakebag, Will you two

Perform the complot that I have laid?

WILL

Ay, or else think me a villain.

GREENE

And rather than you shall want,

I’ll help my self.

MOSBIE

You, master Greene, shall single Franklin forth,

And hold him with a long tale of strange news,

That he may not come home till suppertime.

I’ll fetch master Arden home, and we like friends

Will play a game or two at tables here.

ALICE

But what of all this?

How shall he be slain?

MOSBIE