Lou Bihl - Y's Revenge

The tendons of his neck tightened. Gritting his jawbones, he asked, “How does a scientifically educated pathologist do his thinking with his dick when his survival is concerned?”

I leaned back and steepled my fingers. “As if you’ve never used any brains when your dick was concerned! I bet you’ve never heard of psycho-oncology? Not to mention that even a urologist would understand that the penis is not made just for fucking, but it’s also for peeing—when and where its owner prefers to, and not involuntarily into his pants or Pampers?”

Wolff shook his head without replying.

I stared at the Eiffel Tower—a bulky lamp on his desk, a present from Kriemhild after habilitation. Déjà vu of the old days when we were young, yet already caught up in the rivalry of our student clique. Wolff and I were rarely in the same room without getting involved in some verbal slugfest. Wolff was the kickboxer, dead on target in terms of hitting vulnerabilities, whereas I was more of a foilsman, distributing ironic barbs and thereby having the audience’s laughter on my side. I didn’t even want to imagine how roughly Wolff would have treated Kristina.

“Starck, you are a dickhead, but the patient has the sovereign rights over any treatment decision.”

When I asked him if additional staging was necessary to exclude metastases, he answered there was no indication. For my PSA level, the guideline did not recommend further imaging— even less so, as I was going to use systemic treatment. I perceived his statement as reassuring and unsettling at the same time but refrained from digging deeper.

Wolff made me promise to re-check my PSA in six weeks and forward the result, then he gave me the prescription with the comment that treating medical doctors as patients was god’s worst punishment. He insisted that I get in touch right after my trip. “Or any time you need me,” he added, grumbling.

After getting and exchanging a handshake, I was overwhelmed by relief for sticking to my decision.

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