A to Z Classics - Complete Works Of Oscar Wilde (Best Navigation) (A to Z Classics)

lord goring

[ Indignantly .] The second to-day? What conceited ·183· ass has been impertinent enough to dare to propose to you before I had proposed to you?

mabel chiltern

Tommy Trafford, of course. It is one of Tommy’s days for proposing. He always proposes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, during the season.

lord goring

You didn’t accept him, I hope?

mabel chiltern

I make it a rule never to accept Tommy. That is why he goes on proposing. Of course, as you didn’t turn up this morning, I very nearly said yes. It would have been an excellent lesson both for him and for you if I had. It would have taught you both better manners.

lord goring

Oh! bother Tommy Trafford. Tommy is a silly little ass. I love you.

mabel chiltern

I know. And I think you might have mentioned it before. I am sure I have given you heaps of opportunities.

lord goring

Mabel, do be serious. Please be serious.

·184· mabel chiltern

Ah! that is the sort of thing a man always says to a girl before he has been married to her. He never says it afterwards.

lord goring

[ Taking hold of her hand .] Mabel, I have told you that I love you. Can’t you love me a little in return?

mabel chiltern

You silly Arthur! If you knew anything about … anything, which you don’t, you would know that I adore you. Everyone in London knows it except you. It is a public scandal the way I adore you. I have been going about for the last six months telling the whole of society that I adore you. I wonder you consent to have anything to say to me. I have no character left at all. At least, I feel so happy that I am quite sure I have no character left at all.

lord goring

[ Catches her in his arms and kisses her. Then there is a pause of bliss .] Dear! Do you know I was awfully afraid of being refused!

mabel chiltern

[ Looking up at him .] But you never have been ·185· refused yet by anybody, have you, Arthur? I can’t imagine anyone refusing you.

lord goring

[ After kissing her again .] Of course I’m not nearly good enough for you, Mabel.

mabel chiltern

[ Nestling close to him .] I am so glad, darling. I was afraid you were.

lord goring

[ After some hesitation .] And I’m … I’m a little over thirty.

mabel chiltern

Dear, you look weeks younger than that.

lord goring

[ Enthusiastically .] How sweet of you to say so! … And it is only fair to tell you frankly that I am fearfully extravagant.

mabel chiltern

But so am I, Arthur. So we’re sure to agree. And now I must go and see Gertrude.

lord goring

Must you really? [ Kisses her .]

·186· mabel chiltern

Yes.

lord goring

Then do tell her I want to talk to her particularly. I have been waiting here all the morning to see either her or Robert.

mabel chiltern

Do you mean to say you didn’t come here expressly to propose to me?

lord goring

[ Triumphantly .] No; that was a flash of genius.

mabel chiltern

Your first.

lord goring

[ With determination .] My last.

mabel chiltern

I am delighted to hear it. Now don’t stir. I’ll be back in five minutes. And don’t fall into any temptations while I am away.

lord goring

Dear Mabel, while you are away, there are none. It makes me horribly dependent on you.

·187· [ Enter Lady Chiltern .]

lady chiltern

Good morning, dear! How pretty you are looking!

mabel chiltern

How pale you are looking, Gertrude! It is most becoming!

lady chiltern

Good morning, Lord Goring!

lord goring

[ Bowing .] Good morning, Lady Chiltern!

mabel chiltern

[ Aside to Lord Goring .] I shall be in the conservatory, under the second palm tree on the left.

lord goring

Second on the left?

mabel chiltern

[ With a look of mock surprise .] Yes; the usual palm tree.

[ Blows a kiss to him, unobserved by Lady Chiltern, and goes out .]

·188· lord goring

Lady Chiltern, I have a certain amount of very good news to tell you. Mrs. Cheveley gave me up Robert’s letter last night, and I burned it. Robert is safe.

lady chiltern

[ Sinking on the sofa .] Safe! Oh! I am so glad of that. What a good friend you are to him—to us!

lord goring

There is only one person now that could be said to be in any danger.

lady chiltern

Who is that?

lord goring

[ Sitting down beside her .] Yourself.

lady chiltern

I! In danger? What do you mean?

lord goring

Danger is too great a word. It is a word I should not have used. But I admit I have something to tell you that may distress you, that terribly distresses me. Yesterday evening you wrote me a ·189· very beautiful, womanly letter, asking me for my help. You wrote to me as one of your oldest friends, one of your husband’s oldest friends. Mrs. Cheveley stole that letter from my rooms.

lady chiltern

Well, what use is it to her? Why should she not have it?

lord goring

[ Rising .] Lady Chiltern, I will be quite frank with you. Mrs. Cheveley puts a certain construction on that letter and proposes to send it to your husband.

lady chiltern

But what construction could she put on it? … Oh! not that! not that! If I in—in trouble, and wanting your help, trusting you, propose to come to you … that you may advise me … assist me … Oh! are there women so horrible as that…? And she proposes to send it to my husband? Tell me what happened. Tell me all that happened.

lord goring

Mrs. Cheveley was concealed in a room adjoining my library, without my knowledge. I thought that the person who was waiting in that room to see me was yourself. Robert came in unexpectedly. A chair or something fell in the room. He forced his way in, and he discovered her. We had a terrible ·190· scene. I still thought it was you. He left me in anger. At the end of everything Mrs. Cheveley got possession of your letter—she stole it, when or how, I don’t know.

lady chiltern

At what hour did this happen?

lord goring

At half-past ten. And now I propose that we tell Robert the whole thing at once.

lady chiltern

[ Looking at him with amazement that is almost terror .] You want me to tell Robert that the woman you expected was not Mrs. Cheveley, but myself? That it was I whom you thought was concealed in a room in your house, at half-past ten o’clock at night? You want me to tell him that?

lord goring

I think it is better that he should know the exact truth.

lady chiltern

[ Rising .] Oh, I couldn’t, I couldn’t!

lord goring

May I do it?

·191· lady chiltern

No.

lord goring

[ Gravely .] You are wrong, Lady Chiltern.

lady chiltern

No. The letter must be intercepted. That is all. But how can I do it? Letters arrive for him every moment of the day. His secretaries open them and hand them to him. I dare not ask the servants to bring me his letters. It would be impossible. Oh! why don’t you tell me what to do?

lord goring

Pray be calm, Lady Chiltern, and answer the questions I am going to put to you. You said his secretaries open his letters.

lady chiltern

Yes.

lord goring

Who is with him to-day? Mr. Trafford, isn’t it?

lady chiltern

No. Mr. Montfort, [ E:Montford,] I think.

lord goring

You can trust him?

·192· lady chiltern

[ With a gesture of despair .] Oh! how do I know?

lord goring

He would do what you asked him, wouldn’t he?