Jack Cooke - The Tree Climber’s Guide

HarperCollins Publishers

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First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2016

FIRST EDITION

© Jack Cooke 2016, 2017

Cover design by Dominic Forbes © HarperCollins Publishers 2017

Cover illustrations based on photographs © Jeff Gilbert/Alamy; Shutterstock.com (textures)

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Jack Cooke asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

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Source ISBN: 9780008157609

Ebook Edition © April 2016 ISBN: 9780008153922

Version: 2017-03-14

To my mother, who has a great love of trees and a mortal fear of heights

‘Back to the trees!’ shouted Uncle Vanya. ‘Back to nature!’

The Evolution Man, Or, How I Ate My Father , Roy Lewis

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

Introduction

The Inner Gibbon

A Short History of Climbing Trees

Green Fingers

A Warning to the Curious

Canals & Rivers

Brothers in Arms, Bishop’s Park

The Helping Hand, Regent’s Canal

The Hideout, Beverley Brook

The Old Mill, Ravensbourne River

The Crow’s Nest, King Edward VII Memorial Park

The Sidewinder, Hertford Union Canal

The Golden Fleece, Little Venice

The Double Decker, Millbank

Ophelia’s Treehouse, The Bow Brook

The Fireman’s Pole, Meadowbank

The Fish Hook, River Wandle

City Parks

The Divine Tree, Holland Park

The Kraken, Clissold Park

The Cracked Ash, Victoria Park

Twin Peaks, Victoria Park

Bristowe’s Oaks, Brockwell Park

Plimpton’s Seat, Finsbury Park

The Flagpole, Wandsworth Park

The Tilted Tree, Ravenscourt Park

The Two Towers, Ravenscourt Park

House of Marvell, Waterlow Park

The Enchanted Oak, Ruskin Park

The Quarterdeck, Geraldine Harmsworth Park

The Chartist Tree, Kennington Park

The Magic Carpet, Normand Park

The Guardian Tree, Crystal Palace Park

The Corkscrew, Battersea Park

The Strangled Oak, Battersea Park

The Totem Pole, Roundwood Park

The Jigsaw Tree, Burgess Park

Species

Squares, Gardens & Greens

The Wooden Rose, Brunswick Square

The Black Horse, Temple Gardens

The Chrysalis, Fulham Palace Gardens

Bishop’s Rest, Fulham Palace Gardens

The Nostrils, Camberwell Green

Pankhurst’s Stave, Victoria Tower Gardens

The Catapult, Lincoln’s Inn Fields

The Mountain Top, Horniman Museum Gardens

The Vanguard Beech, Lucas Gardens

The Amplifier, Canada Square

The Gelding’s Tree, Golden Square

Cemeteries & Churchyards

The Three Crowns, Abney Park Cemetery

The Angel Pine, Brompton Cemetery

The Split Yew, All Saints Fulham

John Joshua’s Lime, Hammersmith Old

The False Prophet, St John’s Wood Church Grounds

The Old Crutch, Kensal Green Cemetery

The Black Hand, Nunhead Cemetery

The Granny Pine, Paddington Old Cemetery

The Pulpit, St Paul’s Cathedral Churchyard

Royal Parks

The Hermit Hole, Hyde Park

The Pedestal, Kensington Gardens

The High Bower, Greenwich Park

The Royal Perch, St James’s Park

The Tree of Knowledge, Richmond Park

The Lookout, Primrose Hill

Houdini’s Door, Regent’s Park

Streets, Roundabouts & Rooftops

The One-Way Willow, Swiss Cottage Roundabout

Tramp’s Corner, The Mall

The Spire, Highbury Island

The Burnt Treehouse, Lillie Road

The Traffic Warden, Park Lane

The Flying Oak, Kensington Roof Gardens

The Soldier Fig, Stratford Greenway

Seasons

Open Ground

A Strange Vision, Peckham Rye

The Oasis, Blackheath

The Turnip Tree, Tooting Commons

Lamp Post 33, Clapham Common

Gwain’s Bane, Wormwood Scrubs

The Talisman, Wandsworth Common

The Commentary Box, Hackney Marshes

The Fallen Oak, Hampstead Heath

The Dule Tree, Wanstead Flats

Secret Gardens

The Bowsprit, Rosmead Garden

The Holy Holm, Lambeth Palace Gardens

The Widow’s Veil, Chelsea Physic Garden

The Prince of Persia, Kew Gardens

The Lost Dragon, Kew Gardens

The Peacock Roost, The Hurlingham Club

A Night Aloft

The Sprouting City

Branching Out – A Tree Climber’s Glossary

Acknowledgements

About the Publisher

One thing we rarely do in the city is look up. Only time and weather seem to invade our thoughts as we tramp the urban mile. We may raise our eyes to coming rain or the hours called by clocks, but little else breaks our focus on the way to and from – our eternal quest for convenience.

There is another dimension to the city, a world far removed but close at hand. It is a place of limitless space and light, and a simple antidote to the crowds. When we escape into this realm our senses are awakened; we taste cleaner air and see further than the end of the road. Where does this unlikely utopia lie? All around and above you, in the lofty, green canopy of the city’s trees.

The city I inhabit is not so very different from any other. Like all cities it is sculpted from the same fixed matter: steel and glass, stone and brick. But like all cities it is underpinned and overhung by nature. Everything man-made is dug into the soil, and beneath the street a vast network of roots threads the land.

I have climbed trees in London, but wherever you live you cannot be far from a low branch. The location of a tree is not as important as the act of climbing; you could be scaling a pine in Glasgow or an oak in Rome. Trees offer a way up and out of every city in which they thrive.

There are an estimated seven million trees growing across London, almost a tree for every man, woman and child living in the city. They are as varied and individual as the human inhabitants, from hoary old veterans to assertive young saplings, and as a would-be climber of their branches you have a lot of introductions to make.

The premium commodity in cities is space – space and the terrible lack of it. A recurring bass line in our media is the ever-increasing rent to be paid for one house, one flat, one room, one box. London’s real estate has become inflated beyond recognition, yet the city retains a set of residents who enjoy its most exclusive addresses, the best access and architecture, and the finest views. These lucky few are not the skyscraper elite in their capsules of glass and steel, nor the sprawling mansion dwellers of Hampstead and Chelsea. There exists another kind of penthouse, and its occupants – the humble bird and beast – live in it for free.