GEORGE SHAW - The Complete Works

“Bless me!” said Lydia. “Will there be any boxing?”

“Yes,” said Lord Worthington, reddening, but unabashed. “Lots of it. It will be by gentlemen, though, except perhaps one bout to show the old king our professional form.”

“Then excuse me while I go for my hat,” said Lydia, leaving the room. Alice had gone some time before to make a complete change in her dress, as the occasion was one for display of that kind.

“You look awfully fetching, Miss Goff,” Lord Worthington said, as he followed them to the carriage. Alice did not deign to reply, but tossed her head superbly, and secretly considered whether people would, on comparison, think her overdressed or Lydia underdressed. Lord Worthington thought they both looked their best, and reflected for several seconds on the different styles of different women, and how what would suit one would not do at all for another. It seemed to him that Miss Carew’s presence made him philosophical.

The Agricultural Hall struck Alice at first sight as an immense barn round which heaps of old packing-cases had been built into racecourse stands, scantily decorated with red cloth and a few flags. She was conducted to a front seat in one of these balconies, which overhung the tan-strewn arena. Just below her were the palisades, ornamented at intervals with evergreens in tubs, and pressed against from without by a crowd who had paid a shilling apiece for the privilege of admission. She remarked that it was little to the credit of the management that these people should be placed so close beneath her that she could hear their conversation; but as Lydia did not seem to share her disgust, she turned her attention to the fashionable part of the audience. On the opposite side of the arena the balconies seemed like beds of flowers in bloom, blacknesses formed here and there by the hats and coats of gentlemen representing the interspaces of clay. In the midst of the flowers was a gaudy dais, on which a powerfully-built black gentleman sat in a raised chair, his majestic impassivity contrasting with the overt astonishment with which a row of savagely ugly attendant chiefs grinned and gaped on either side of him.

“What a pity we are not nearer the king!” said Alice. “I can hardly see the dear old fellow.”

“You will find these the best seats for seeing the assault. It will be all right,” said Lord Worthington.

Lydia’s attention was caught by something guilty in his manner. Following a furtive glance of his, she saw in the arena, not far from her, an enclosure about twenty feet square, made with ropes and stakes. It was unoccupied, and there were a few chairs, a basin, and a sponge, near it.

“What is that?” she asked.

“That! Oh, that’s the ring.”

“It is not a ring. It is square.”

“They call it the ring. They have succeeded in squaring the circle.”

Here there was a piercing bugle-call, and a troop of cavalry trotted into the arena. Lydia found it pleasant enough to sit lazily admiring the horses and men, and comparing the members of the Olympian Club, who appeared when the soldiers retired, to the marble gods of Athens, and to the Bacchus or David of Michael Angelo. They fell short of the Greek statues in refinement, and of the Italian in impressiveness as they vaulted over a wooden horse, and swung upon horizontal bars, each cheapening the exploits of his forerunner by outdoing them. Lord Worthington, who soon grew tired of this, whispered that when all that rubbish was over, a fellow would cut a sheep in two with a sword, after which there would be some boxing.

“Do you mean to say,” said Lydia, indignantly, “that they are going to turn a sheep loose and hunt it on horseback with swords?”

Lord Worthington laughed and said yes; but it presently appeared that by a sheep was meant a lean carcass of mutton. A stalwart sergeant cut it in half as a climax to slicing lemons, bars of lead, and silk handkerchiefs; and the audience, accustomed to see much more disgusting sights in butchers’ shops, liberally applauded him.

Two gentlemen of the Olympian Club now entered the enclosure which Lord Worthington called the ring. After shaking hands with one another as well as their huge padded gloves permitted, they hugged themselves with their right arms as if there were some danger of their stomachs falling out if not held tightly in, and danced round one another, throwing out and retracting their left fists like pawing horses. They were both, as Lydia learned from the announcement of their names and achievements by the master of the ceremonies, amateur champions. She thought their pawing and dancing ridiculous; and when they occasionally rushed together and scuffled, she could distinguish nothing of the leading off, stopping, ducking, countering, guarding, and getting away to which Lord Worthington enthusiastically invited her attention, and which elicited alternate jeers and applause from the shilling audience below. She laughed outright when, at the expiration of three minutes, the two dropped supine into chairs at opposite corners of the ring as if they had sustained excessive fatigue. At the end of a minute, some one hoarsely cried “Time!” and they rose and repeated their previous performance for three minutes more. Another minute of rest followed; and then the dancing and pawing proceeded for four minutes, after which the champions again shook hands and left the arena.

“And is that all?” said Lydia.

“That’s all,” said Lord Worthington. “It’s the most innocent thing in the world, and the prettiest.”

“It does not strike me as being pretty,” said Lydia; “but it seems as innocent as inanity can make it.” Her mind misgave her that she had ignorantly and unjustly reproached Cashel Byron with ferocity merely because he practised this harmless exercise.

The show progressed through several phases of skilled violence. Besides single combats between men armed in various fashions, there were tilts, tent-peggings, drilling and singlestick practice by squads of British tars, who were loudly cheered, and more boxing and vaulting by members of the club. Lydia’s attention soon began to wander from the arena. Looking down at the crowd outside the palisades, she saw a small man whom she vaguely remembered, though his face was turned from her. In conversation with him was a powerful man dressed in a yellow tweed suit and green scarf. He had a coarse, strong voice, and his companion a shrill, mean one, so that their remarks could be heard by an attentive listener above the confused noise of the crowd.

“Do you admire that man?” said Lord Worthington, following Lydia’s gaze.

“No. Is he anybody in particular?”

“He was a great man once — in the days of the giants. He was champion of England. He has a special interest for us as the preceptor of a mutual friend of ours.”

“Please name him,” said Lydia, intending that the mutual friend should be named.

“Ned Skene,” said Lord Worthington, taking her to mean the man below. “He has done so well in the colonies that he has indulged himself and his family with a trip to England. His arrival made quite a sensation in this country: last week he had a crowded benefit, at which he sparred with our mutual friend and knocked him about like a baby. Our mutual behaved very well on the occasion in letting himself be knocked about. You see he could have killed old Skene if he had tried in earnest.”

“Is that Skene?” said Lydia, looking at him with an earnest interest that astonished Lord Worthington. “Ah! Now I recognize the man with him. He is one of my tenants at the Warren Lodge — I believe I am indebted to you for the introduction.”

“Mellish the trainer?” said Lord Worthington, looking a little foolish. “So it is. What a lovely bay that lancer has! — the second from the far end.”