GEORGE SHAW - The Complete Works

“But you don’t know all the things I shall — I should have to provide. You had better wait until you come back from the continent.”

“There is nothing to be provided on your part but settlements and your trousseau. The trousseau is all nonsense; and Jansenius knows me of old in the matter of settlements. I got married in six weeks before.”

“Yes,” said Agatha sharply, “but I am not Henrietta.”

“No, thank Heaven,” he assented placidly.

Agatha was struck with remorse. “That was a vile thing for me to say,” she said; “and for you too.”

“Whatever is true is to the purpose, vile or not. Will you come to Geneva on the twenty-fourth?”

“But — I really was not thinking when I — I did not intend to say that I would — I—”

“I know. You will come if we are married.”

“Yes. IF we are married.”

“We shall be married. Do not write either to your mother or Jansenius until I ask you.”

“I don’t intend to. I have nothing to write about.”

“Wretch that you are! And do not be jealous if you catch me making love to Lady Brandon. I always do so; she expects it.”

“You may make love to whom you please. It is no concern of mine.”

“Here comes the wagonette with Lady Brandon and Ger — and Miss Lindsay. I mustn’t call her Gertrude now except when you are not by. Before they interrupt us, let me remind you of the three points we are agreed upon. I love you. You do not love me. We are to be married before the twenty-fourth of next month. Now I must fly to help her ladyship to alight.”

He hastened to the house door, at which the wagonette had just stopped. Agatha, bewildered, and ashamed to face her friends, went in through the conservatory, and locked herself in her room.

Trefusis went into the library with Gertrude whilst Lady Brandon loitered in the hall to take off her gloves and ask questions of the servants. When she followed, she found the two standing together at the window. Gertrude was listening to him with the patient expression she now often wore when he talked. He was smiling, but it struck Jane that he was not quite at ease. “I was just beginning to tell Miss Lindsay,” he said, “of an extraordinary thing that has happened during your absence.”

“I know,” exclaimed Jane, with sudden conviction. “The heater in the conservatory has cracked.”

“Possibly,” said Trefusis; “but, if so, I have not heard of it.”

“If it hasn’t cracked, it will,” said Jane gloomily. Then, assuming with some effort an interest in Trefusis’s news, she added: “Well, what has happened?”

“I was chatting with Miss Wylie just now, when a singular idea occurred to us. We discussed it for some time; and the upshot is that we are to be married before the end of next month.”

Jane reddened and stared at him; and he looked keenly back at her. Gertrude, though unobserved, did not suffer her expression of patient happiness to change in the least; but a greenish-white color suddenly appeared in her face, and only gave place very slowly to her usual complexion.

“Do you mean to say that you are going to marry AGATHA?” said Lady Brandon incredulously, after a pause.

“Yes. I had no intention of doing so when I last saw you or I should have told you.”

“I never heard of such a thing in my life! You fell in love with one another in five minutes, I suppose.”

“Good Heavens, no! we are not in love with one another. Can you believe that I would marry for such a frivolous reason? No. The subject turned up accidentally, and the advantage of a match between us struck me forcibly. I was fortunate enough to convert her to my opinion.”

“Yes; she wanted a lot of pressing, I dare say,” said Jane, glancing at Gertrude, who was smiling unmeaningly.

“As you imply,” said Trefusis coolly, “her reluctance may have been affected, and she only too glad to get such a charming husband. Assuming that to be the case, she dissembled remarkably well.”

Gertrude took off her bonnet, and left the room without speaking.

“This is my revenge upon you for marrying Brandon,” he said then, approaching Jane.

“Oh, yes,” she retorted ironically. “I believe all that, of course.”

“You have the same security for its truth as for that of all the foolish things I confess to you. There!” He pointed to a panel of looking glass, in which Jane’s figure was reflected at full length.

“I don’t see anything to admire,” said Jane, looking at herself with no great favor. “There is plenty of me, if you admire that.”

“It is impossible to have too much of a good thing. But I must not look any more. Though Agatha says she does not love me, I am not sure that she would be pleased if I were to look for love from anyone else.”

“Says she does not love you! Don’t believe her; she has taken trouble enough to catch you.”

“I am flattered. You caught me without any trouble, and yet you would not have me.”

“It is manners to wait to be asked. I think you have treated Gertrude shamefully — I hope you won’t be offended with me for saying so. I blame Agatha most. She is an awfully double-faced girl.”

“How so?” said Trefusis, surprised. “What has Miss Lindsay to do with it?”

“You know very well.”

“I assure you I do not. If you were speaking of yourself I could understand you.”

“Oh, you can get out of it cleverly, like all men; but you can’t hoodwink me. You shouldn’t have pretended to like Gertrude when you were really pulling a cord with Agatha. And she, too, pretending to flirt with Sir Charles — as if he would care twopence for her!”

Trefusis seemed a little disturbed. “I hope Miss Lindsay had no such — but she could not.”

“Oh, couldn’t she? You will soon see whether she had or not.”

“You misunderstood us, Lady Brandon; Miss Lindsay knows better. Remember, too, that this proposal of mine was quite unpremeditated. This morning I had no tender thoughts of anyone except one whom it would be improper to name.”

“Oh, that is all talk. It won’t do now.”

“I will talk no more at present. I must be off to the village to telegraph to my solicitor. If I meet Erskine I will tell him the good news.”

“He will be delighted. He thought, as we all did, that you were cutting him out with Gertrude.”

Trefusis smiled, shook his head, and, with a glance of admiring homage to Jane’s charms, went out. Jane was contemplating herself in the glass when a servant begged her to come and speak to Master Charles and Miss Fanny. She hurried upstairs to the nursery, where her boy and girl, disputing each other’s prior right to torture the baby, had come to blows. They were somewhat frightened, but not at all appeased, by Jane’s entrance. She scolded, coaxed, threatened, bribed, quoted Dr. Watts, appealed to the nurse and then insulted her, demanded of the children whether they loved one another, whether they loved mamma, and whether they wanted a right good whipping. At last, exasperated by her own inability to restore order, she seized the baby, which had cried incessantly throughout, and, declaring that it was doing it on purpose and should have something real to cry for, gave it an exemplary smacking, and ordered the others to bed. The boy, awed by the fate of his infant brother, offered, by way of compromise, to be good if Miss Wylie would come and play with him, a proposal which provoked from his jealous mother a box on the ear that sent him howling to his cot. Then she left the room, pausing on the threshold to remark that if she heard another sound from them that day, they might expect the worst from her. On descending, heated and angry, to the drawingroom, she found Agatha there alone, looking out of window as if the landscape were especially unsatisfactory this time.