Robert Collier - The Robert Collier Letter Book

Just so it is in building word pictures. Washington Irving gave a classic example of this in his description of the schoolmaster in "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

He was tall, but exceedingly lank, with narrow, sloping shoulders, long arms and legs, hands that dangled a mile out of his sleeves, and his whole framework most loosely hung together. His head was small...

Can’t you just picture that gawky, homely figure, with its ill-fitting clothes and shambling gait, the whole giving a scarecrow-like effect such as you see occasionally even today, where some youthful bumpkin seems to have sprouted so fast that arms and legs and Adam’s apple have out distanced the rest of his anatomy in the race for development, until now they seem but a weak web holding together a bunch of limbs, with ham-like hands and arms at the ends.

Thousands of sales have been lost, millions of dollars worth of business have failed to materialize, solely because so few letter writers have that knack of visualizing a proposition—of painting it in words so the reader can see it as they see it.

Yet the ability to do that is perhaps the most important factor in a successful letter, for it means describing your proposition in terms of things the reader knows. Westcott gave a good example of this when he had David Harum tell some "horsey" friends about The Lost Chord.

It’s about a feller sittin’ one day by the organ, an’ not feelin’ exactly right—kind o’ tired and out o’ sorts and not knowing’ jes’ where he was drivin’ at—jes’ joggin’ along with a loose rein for quite a piece, an’ so on; an’ then, by an by, strikin’ fight into his gait and goin’ on stronger and stronger, and fin’ly finishin’ up with an A-aa-men that carries him quarter way ’round the track ’fore he can pull up.

You see, your sale must be made in your reader’s mind. Before you can get his order, it is necessary for you to register a sequence of impressions in his mind, the combined result of which will be to make him want the thing you are offering more than the money or trouble it costs him. And the method of registering those impressions lies in first picking something with which he is familiar, and building on that.

To describe apples, for instance, as "like those with which Eve tempted Adam" is to use a simile that will strike a familiar chord with everyone. "Honey such as Cleopatra served to Antony," brings in another familiar allusion that almost anyone would recognize.

"As rich in appointment as Croesus in coin of the realm." "Satisfying as sinking a ten-foot putt on a rough green." "As much chance as a goldfish on a cat farm, " "Like a home run in the ninth inning with the bases full." "Like painting a battleship with a tooth brush" "Thick, creamy chocolate coatings that give you that ’moreish’ feeling." "The company with a good product that does not advertise is like a man who whispers to himself on a desert." Every one of these stirs a familiar memory and thus gives you a definite impression to tie your story to. It is the difference between having foundation to build upon and resting your edifice upon shifting sands.

Further along in this book we shall give you numbers of instances of the way the writer has used this idea in describing various products he has helped to sell. Meantime, we give below a few go examples of how others have done it:

About a Ginger Ale

The lore which enters its making is akin to the lore of the wine-makers of France—a formula and process handed down from father to son. Only three men know the secret of its charm and vivacity, its mellow glow and friendliness. You will find in it stimulation like that of mountain air.

Silverware

The cheerful hum of voices, the steaming kettle, the cup that cheers, and Silver plate with its satiny surface catching every light.

A Room

It seemed, partly because the ceiling was low, to be very spacious; the walls and ceiling were of a kind of dusky amber hue; a golden brown was everywhere the prevailing tint. The tiny curtains, the long settees into which one sank, the chairs, the shades of the mellow glow lights—all were of some variety of this delicate, golden brown. In the middle of the room stood a square table.

A Rug

Under her feet a rug so thick that she felt her shoes must be hidden in its pile.

A Laundry

A goodly part of the delight of a dinner is in linen white as almond blossoms. Napery, to be at its best, should be laundered carefully and skillfully. Many discerning housewives entrust their fine table linen to the White Laundry. In it, the constant thought is not "how quick” but "how well.” But with all our care, we do save time for you, too.

A Book

If you are one of the live, wide-awake men who welcome the rush and tumult of great daring and big adventure, who believe that there is nothing better for tired brains or tired bodies than the healthy, blood-tingling, mind-quickening stimulation of a good story, then . . .

Hawaii

Four days beyond the Golden Gate, the Hawaiian Islands lift their crests of misty jade above a sparkling sea. Four nights away, the orange moon floods Moana Valley with its spell, and the ghosts of gorgeous flowers spread a witchery of perfume in the shadows. Four days away, the long combers, creaming on Waikiki’s bar, race shoreward, and golden-skinned surf-riders, young gods and goddesses of the blue deep, speed across the amethystine waters.

Someone waits to drape a lei of jasmine on your shoulders. Someone waits to sing the husky croon, "Aloha oe," to echo in your heart for years. Why don’t you go and capture your dreams?

A Ham

This mark certifies that the hog came from good stock, that it was corn-fed in order that it might be firm and sweet—that it was a barrow hog, so that the meat would be full-flavored and juicy—that it was a young hog, making the ham thin-skinned and tender—well-conditioned and fat, insuring the lean of the ham to be tasty and nutritious. This mark certifies that the ham was cured in sugar, pure saltpeter and only a very little salt, thus bringing out all the fine, rich, natural flavor of the carefully selected meat, and preserving it without "salty pickling."

A Real Estate Development

From every standpoint of the amusement industry and the real estate promoter, Boca Grande is a dead town. It always has been dead and probably always will be. That is why it appeals to many live people. It doesn’t quarrel with any of the bigger and better movements. It simply lets them alone. It has no Chamber of Commerce, no dredges or sand-suckers, and nothing proposed for 1931. Boca Grande is simply a haven for those who prefer to roll their own in the way of amusement. Providence did a perfectly satisfactory job in the way of making this a lovely place to swim and fish and golf, and we who have been wintering here since long before the boom came and went, let it go at that. You might like Boca Grande a lot. Many clever people do. It is an adventure in naturalness. Let us send you a book about it. It is a very nice book, and not too much exaggerated.

An Electric Refrigerator

Just a few degrees below the temperature of an ordinary ice-box is a colder zone that affects the keeping of foods in a remarkable way. It is the zone where moisture crystallizes out of the air as frost, leaving the air dry, crisp and snappy. At this lower temperature, the air takes on a frosty sting. This is the zone of So-and-so, produced by So-and-so electric refrigeration.

A Gas Burner

The Blank Heat-Spreading Burner is a nest of small jets, and is so designed that the heat is spread evenly over the entire bottom of the utensil. Combustion is so perfect that all the fuel is burned. You get the full benefit of every atom of gas. The bottom of the cooking utensil rests only seven-eighths of an inch from the burner top. There are no deposits of carbon to be scoured off.