Francois Keyser - Cold Feet

“ Why? ” he smiles and looks at me before continuing, “Well, many couples prefer to have prenups drawn up before they get married. Some even want a last will and testament. I do it all.”

I nod slowly. “Okay, that makes sense.”

“Of course,” he smiles. He sits forward and continues, “That’s just the beginning though.”

“What do you mean by ‘just the beginning’?”

“Well, there’s the divorce later.”

I am sipping my drink when he says it and it goes down the wrong hole. I cough and splutter as I put down the glass. When my coughing fit is done, I take another few sips so my voice can return to normal. “Divorce?” I say a little too loudly and the guests at the next table glance our way. I am disgusted and shocked.

“Yes, divorce,” he repeats.

In an instant, everything that happened between us earlier is wiped out. I feel like I have crossed into an alternate world.

“You do realize that this is one of the most beautiful days a couple will ever have in their lives?”

Rick nods. “Yes. One of the most beautiful days. It doesn’t last forever though. Life happens.”

“So, you assume every marriage is going to end in divorce sooner or later?” I ask incredulously. This time I keep my voice low enough so that the other guests don’t hear.

“Not all of them,” Rick replies. “But let me give you an idea of what I’m talking about. In California alone, divorce rates are estimated to be ten percent higher than the national average.”

“There is a national average for something as bad as divorce?” I ask in disgust.

“Yes. Would you like to guess what the national average is? It’ll make you wonder why ‘till death do us part’ is still being included in couples’ vows.”

“I don’t care to guess,” I reply.

“Well let me enlighten you then. The national average is fifty percent. That means in California it’s…”

“… sixty percent,” I finish in disgust. I feel my anger rising. “You are aware that this is a wedding reception?”

“Of course,” Rick replies. “What is your point?’

I ignore his question. “Are you for real? What have you done with the man who was in the garden a short while ago?”

Rick chuckles. “Cute. He’s right here.”

“What happened to the man who said, when our eyes met, I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame ? How can you whisper such romantic things to me while you have such a skewed perception of marriage?” “It’s not skewed,” he replies. “Aren’t we all entitled to our opinions?”

“Sure, but why don’t you tell me where you see anything between us going if that’s your view of marriage?”

“Aren’t you taking things a bit fast? We haven’t even had our first date and you’re asking about ‘things between us’.

“I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression then,” I say as I struggle to suppress my anger. “You had an effect on me like no man I have ever known. Despite that my heart was telling me to cautious and I was telling it to shut up. I was throwing caution to the wind because I thought I felt something special with you. I guess I was wrong.”

“I beg to differ. You did feel something special. I felt it too.”

“No. I wasn’t thinking with my heart. I was thinking with the puddle between my legs. Dammit, you drove me wild with desire but that’s where it would end. Lust, desire, passion, sex. That’s all. Isn’t it? A one-night stand.”

Rick shook his head looking disappointed.

I’m on a roll now and I push on. “Do they even know that you’re peddling your services here?”

He studies me for a moment. “Look, perhaps we’re starting off on the wrong foot. All I am saying is that clients need lawyers when they get married and divorced. Just take my perspective of divorce out of it if you don’t like it and think about offering your clients a service they need. I do offer a commission for business introductions.”

“We have started on the wrong foot. Why would I work with someone who has such as skewed attitude towards one of the greatest days in a couple’s life?”

“We are all entitled to our own opinions, aren’t we?” Rick asks calmly. He doesn’t look so confident anymore but he’s not backing down.

“We are. I agree,” I say, sitting forward and looking into Rick’s eyes. I wonder why God makes assholes so attractive. Maybe it’s the only way they stand a chance in life. I want to ask him to give my panties back but I don’t. He’ll probably embarrass me and put them on the table for all to see. “I happen to believe in the beauty and magic of love and the blessedness of every wedding day that I help create for every client. I don’t think of what might happen in the future but you’re positively wishing divorce on couples before they’re even married and my opinion about that, is it’s abhorrent. I prefer to work with like-minded people, something that we, evidently are not.”

Rick sighs. “I’m sorry to hear that. My door’s always open to collaborating if you decide differently. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.” He smiles and winks as he gets up and leaves the table. I watch him go. His ass is perfect and his form is perfect. It’s a pity he’s such an asshole.

Ashley returns with a huge smile on her face. “Wow! He’s such a hunk! Did he ask you out?”

“No. He asked me to collaborate with him.” The disappointment in my voice is clear.

“Collaborate? In what way?”

I push his card over to Ashley. She picks it up and reads it. “Oh,” she says then asks, “Seriously?”

I nod as I try to continue eating my dinner. I’ve lost my appetite. I try not to look his way but find that as luck would have it, every time I look up, my eyes seem to find his.

I push my plate away and get up. “I’m going to check on the team,” I say. I want to be anywhere except where I’m going to meet his eyes again.

RICK

I sit down at my table again. My chat with Viola didn’t go the way I had hoped. I know I’ve blown what we started outside in the garden. I am disappointed. She has had an effect on me like no other woman and I still can’t stop looking at her.

She’s one of the best at what she does. I’m one of the best at what I do too.

I know if we collaborated it would be great. With her reputation in her industry, Viola attracts top-tier clients because of her reputation. My kind of clients. The wealthier they are, the bigger the divorce settlements are. Makes sense doesn’t it?

That aside, they can also pay for the best legal advice before they get married if we collaborate. This is what Viola failed to recognize. My commissions are good and she stands to make good money simply from a referral. Why should she even care what happens later down the road? If anything, she’s likely to get at least one repeat client if the couple divorces and they remarry later. They’ll probably call her for their next wedding. Hell, there’s even their children a generation from now who’ll be getting married. She can easily get the children’s weddings too depending on how close she stays to her clients after they get married. I’ll cut her in on all the business I get from a client she refers to me and I’ll even refer business her way too.

I keep looking at her. I can’t help it. I’m wondering what’s got her so upset about what I said. Maybe it was just the wrong time and I should have arranged to speak with her after the wedding or on a day when she wasn’t running a wedding reception.

There is another reason why I can’t stop looking at her. She is unbelievably beautiful. I don’t believe in love but she is my type. By my type, I mean confident, sassy, proud, sexy, independent. The kind that doesn’t have time for relationships but takes what she needs from men when she needs it. Just as I take from women what I need when I need it. I don’t have time for relationships. I also don’t believe in them.