Margit Sandemo - The Ice People 28 - Ice and Fire

But Belinda had seen some of it and she had done her best to show how impressed she was by the improvements, for no one in the world had such good taste as Signe and her husband. She herself did not have much insight into that sort of thing, because to her interior decorating was neither fish nor fowl.

But, then, she was so stupid ...

Signe went on chatting away as Elistrand’s windows came into view. “Herbert was the only one who could afford to buy the farm. He wanted a life for us befitting our rank, which there’s no denying that we have.”

“Oh, yes! I’m so happy that you married Herbert, Signe! Isn’t he wonderfully kind to you?”

“Yes, yes,” her sister quickly responded. “He waits on me hand and foot.”

Belinda smiled gently with joy. Herbert was always so considerate: for example, during dinner today he had said, “You must eat for two, Signe! Belinda, we must take good care of Signe – she is an important person now. She is expecting my son, you understand!”

Herbert was terribly handsome. Manly and very principled. He was a public official, and they had to be particular about every detail or else society couldn’t function properly! That was what Signe had said once, and Signe was always right. “I think that little extra weight he has put on of late becomes him. It just signals to the outside world that he can afford it. And he is handsome, don’t you think?”

Belinda looked at Herbert through Signe’s eyes and also thought he was handsome. His face was as smooth as a baby’s, his skin was olive with a suggestion of a dark beard, and his hair was slicked back with plenty of hair oil.

Yes, he was without a doubt the most handsome man on earth. That was what Signe had said. And that was what all the servant girls said as well, according to Signe. And all the ladies at the wedding. How they had all sighed! So Belinda had sighed too, because that was apparently what one was supposed to do.

The faint sense of reluctance re-emerged. Herbert had looked at her in such a strange way today, from her head to her feet and then back up again. He had looked away several times, but whenever she turned towards him she found that he had been looking at her. Was there something wrong with her clothes? She did have a tendency to button her bodice askew – that was the kind of mistake she would make. “A fiasco – clumsy Belinda, the family clown,” they would say about her. Well, that was probably true, but did it matter so much that there was a clown in the family? There was nothing wrong with being a clown. She didn’t mind other people laughing at her.

Signe’s voice woke her out of her daydream. “Do you know, Belinda? I’ve always been a little envious of you.”

“Of me? I think I am going to faint!”

But she didn’t.

“Well, I have,” Signe said, laughing. “That you were the one who got that pretty name, Belinda, while I got the boring-sounding name, Signe. I’ll never forgive our parents for that. It’s so unfair!”

“Do you think Belinda sounds pretty?” Belinda asked, her face lighting up. “To me it sounds like the name of a cow.”

“Absolutely not!” Signe objected. “I’m so disappointed that I wasn’t given that name. It would have suited me perfectly, don’t you think?”

“I suppose so,” Belinda answered reluctantly, for she had always simply thought of Signe as Signe and of herself as Belinda. As though she had been born with that name.

But Signe had changed the subject now. “Herbert has big plans, I can tell you! As you know, there is far too much land attached to the farm, and since Christiania is growing so fast and people want more houses, he’s considering selling the land as a building plot. He’s going to be filthy rich!”

“I thought he already was.”

“Yes, but Elistrand wasn’t cheap. But he saw the potential in it – that’s why he bought it. To divide it up and sell it to the rich who want to live in the country.”

Belinda looked around with her childish, open gaze. But there wasn’t much to be seen in the dark. A small thought occurred to her – or perhaps it was more of a feeling. She had seen Graastensholm Parish during the day and had been overjoyed by the peaceful quietness and the beautiful, gentle lines of the landscape. Now she was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of sorrow.

New houses had already been built just outside Graastensholm’s boundaries. The development had crept across the parish border with tremendous speed in the last few years. Everywhere along the lane leading to Signe’s house she had seen new, two-storey houses, and it had somehow pained her, she wasn’t sure why. Signe had talked about the new development with such enthusiasm, and Belinda had nodded, for Signe was always right, but deep down she felt divided.

“What do the Ice People think of your husband’s plans?” she asked as they walked through the impressive gate to Elistrand. Centuries ago it had been Alexander Paladin’s wedding gift to his daughter, Gabriella.

“The Ice People? Are you mad? Herbert never mentioned anything about his plans or he would never have been allowed to buy Elistrand! But the farm is his now so he can do whatever he likes with it.”

Belinda could hardly recognize her big sister, whom she worshipped. It was almost like hearing Herbert talk, she thought.

She stopped and looked pensively back towards the hill they had just passed. But the last glow in the sky had been extinguished by ash-grey, and the horizon was clear and empty.

Some people can’t whistle and sing at the same time.

Belinda was one such person.

Her shoes would get stuck in the kerbstone, she would get caught in the door, or she would poke people in the hand with her thumb instead of shaking hands to greet them.

Little accidents like that were often due to insecurity on her part. You are nervous that you will choose the wrong door and sure enough, you walk right into the most private room in the house. You are so worried that you are going to make a mistake that you inevitably end up doing just that.

And in Belinda’s case it wasn’t so strange that she felt insecure.

She was the second child in a long line of siblings, and all her brothers and sisters were intelligent children and had done well. Belinda wasn’t downright stupid, she was just a little slower in her thoughts and actions than the others. She was simple-minded in the best sense of the word.

She wasn’t exactly a beauty, either; she was ordinary, neither pretty nor ugly, with medium blonde, thick hair and friendly eyes. But if you have been born into a family stuffed with beauties, the difference suddenly becomes striking.

Belinda’s mother had said the nicest thing about her: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.” And really that was precisely what one thought when looking at her.

The star of the family was Signe. She was perfect, and their parents were always reminding Belinda of that fact. “Look at Signe and how well she’s doing. You don’t want to be inferior to her, do you?”

Those words had haunted Belinda since her early childhood. “Can anyone understand how those two can be sisters?”

Now you might have expected Belinda to resent Signe to a great degree, but that wasn’t Belinda’s style. She merely shrank, while her admiration for Signe grew. Whatever Signe did, Belinda did as well. Signe’s thoughts and opinions became hers. If Signe had a rose-pink dress then Belinda had one, too, even though the colour didn’t suit her at all. She even imitated the way Signe spoke and her tone of voice. For if everyone loved Signe for the way she was, then they would also have to love Belinda for being the same way.

So Belinda struggled hard to resemble Signe in every respect, which only elicited scornful laughter. And her younger siblings contributed to her low self-esteem by using their quick wit and inventiveness, and they smiled benignly and teasingly at her as she allowed herself to be tricked in the most unbelievable ways.