Lucius Seneca - Yale Required Reading - Collected Works (Vol. 2)

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Enter Micio from his house.

Mic. ( speaking to the people within. ) I’ll go and tell them there’s no delay on our part.

Dem. But see here’s the very man: O Micio, I have been seeking you this long time.

Mic. Why, what’s the matter?

Dem. I’m bringing you some new and great enormities of that hopeful youth.

Mic. Just look at that!

Dem. Fresh ones, of blackest dye.

Mic. There now—at it again.

Dem. Ah, Micio ! you little know what sort of person he is.

Mic. I do.

Dem. O simpleton! you are dreaming that I’m talking about the Music-girl; this crime is against a virgin and a citizen.

Mic. I know it.

Dem. So then, you know it, and put up with it!

Mic. Why not put up with it?

Dem. Tell me, pray, don’t you exclaim about it? Don’t you go distracted?

Mic. Not I: certainly I had rather 79——

Dem. There has been a child born.

Mic. May the Gods be propitious to it .

Dem. The girl has no fortune.

Mic. So I have heard.

Dem. And he—must he marry her without one?

Mic. Of course.

Dem. What is to be done then?

Mic. Why, what the case itself points out: the young woman must be brought hither.

Dem. O Jupiter! must that be the way then ?

Mic. What can I do else?

Dem. What can you do? If in reality this causes you no concern, to pretend it were surely the duty of a man.

Mic. But I have already betrothed the young woman to him ; the matter is settled: the marriage takes place to-day . I have removed all apprehensions. This is rather the duty of a man.

Dem. But does the affair please you, Micio?

Mic. If I were able to alter it, no; now, as I can not, I bear it with patience. The life of man is just like playing with dice: 80if that which you most want to throw does not turn up, what turns up by chance you must correct by art.

Dem. O rare corrector! of course it is by your art that twenty minæ have been thrown away for a Music-girl; who, as soon as possible, must be got rid of at any price; and if not for money, why then for nothing.

Mic. Not at all, and indeed I have no wish to sell her.

Dem. What will you do with her then?

Mic. She shall be at my house.

Dem. For heaven’s sake, a courtesan and a matron in the same house!

Mic. Why not?

Dem. Do you imagine you are in your senses?

Mic. Really I do think so .

Dem. So may the Gods prosper me, I now see your folly; I believe you are going to do so that you may have somebody to practice music with.

Mic. Why not?

Dem. And the new-made bride to be learning too?

Mic. Of course.

Dem. Having hold of the rope, 81you will be dancing with them.

Mic. Like enough; and you too along with us, if there’s need.

Dem. Ah me! are you not ashamed of this?

Mic. Demea, do, for once, lay aside this anger of yours, and show yourself as you ought at your son’s wedding, cheerful and good-humored. I’ll just step over to them, and return immediately.

Goes into Sostrata’s house.

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Demea alone.

Dem. O Jupiter! here’s a life! here are manners! here’s madness! A wife to be coming without a fortune! A music-wench in the house! A house full of wastefulness! A young man ruined by extravagance! An old man in his dotage!—Should Salvation herself 82desire it, she certainly could not save this family.

Exit.

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Enter Syrus , drunk, and Demea , on the opposite side of the stage.

Syr. Upon my faith, my dear little Syrus, you have taken delicate care of yourself, and have done your duty 83with exquisite taste; be off with you. But since I’ve had my fill of every thing in-doors, I have felt disposed to take a walk.

Dem. ( apart. ) Just look at that—there’s an instance of their good training!

Syr. ( to himself. ) But see, here comes our old man. ( Addressing him. ) What’s the matter? Why out of spirits?

Dem. Oh you rascal!

Syr. Hold now; are you spouting your sage maxims here?

Dem. If you were my servant ——

Syr. Why, you would be a rich man, Demea, and improve your estate.

Dem. I would take care that you should be an example to all the rest.

Syr. For what reason? What have I done?

Dem. Do you ask me? in the midst of this confusion, and during the greatest mischief, which is hardly yet set right, you have been getting drunk, you villain, as though things had been going on well.

Syr. ( aside. ) Really, I wish I hadn’t come out.

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Enter Dromo in haste, from the house of Micio .

Dro. Halloo, Syrus! Ctesipho desires you’ll come back.

Syr. Get you gone.

Pushes him back into the house.

Dem. What is it he says about Ctesipho?

Syr. Nothing.

Dem. How now, you hang-dog, is Ctesipho in the house?

Syr. He is not.

Dem. Then why does he mention him?

Syr. It’s another person; a little diminutive Parasite. Don’t you know him?

Dem. I will know him before long. ( Going to the door. )

Syr. ( stopping him. ) What are you about? Whither are you going?

Dem. ( struggling. ) Let me alone.

Syr. ( holding him. ) Don’t, I tell you.

Dem. Won’t you keep your hands off, whip-scoundrel? Or would you like me to knock your brains out this instant?

Rushes into the house.

Syr. He’s gone! no very pleasant boon-companion, upon my faith, particularly to Ctesipho. What am I to do now? Why, even get into some corner till this tempest is lulled, and sleep off this drop of wine. That’s my plan.

Goes into the house, staggering.

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Enter Micio , from the house of Sostrata .

Mic. ( to Sostrata, within. ) Every thing’s ready with us, as I told you, Sostrata, when you like.—Who, I wonder, is making my door fly open with such fury?

Enter Demea in haste, from the house of Micio .

Dem. Alas! what shall I do? How behave? In what terms exclaim, or how make my complaint? O heavens! O earth! O seas of Neptune!

Mic. ( apart. ) Here’s for you! he has discovered all about the affair; and of course is now raving about it; a quarrel is the consequence; I must assist him, 84 however . Dem. See, here comes the common corrupter of my children.

Mic. Pray moderate your passion, and recover yourself.

Dem. I have moderated it; I am myself; I forbear all reproaches; let us come to the point: was this agreed upon between us,—proposed by yourself, in fact,—that you were not to concern yourself about my son , nor I about yours? Answer me.