Mahendra Ramsinghani - The Resilient Founder

1 Cover

2 Title Page THE RESILIENT FOUNDER LESSONS IN ENDURANCE FROM STARTUP ENTREPRENEURS Mahendra Ramsinghani

3 Copyright Copyright © 2022 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission . Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002. Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic formats. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com . Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is Available: ISBN 9781119839736 (Hardback) ISBN 9781119839750 (ePDF) ISBN 9781119839743 (ePub) Cover Design: Wiley Cover Image: © Bobbie Carlyle, Sculptor

4 Dedication In memory of minds afire Austen Heinz, Aaron Swartz, Jody ShermanSreeram Veerangandham,and many more … This book is dedicated tothat indomitable spirit in every founderthat respects the darknessand brings lightfor a better future for all .

5 Foreword

6 Acknowledgments

7 About the Cover

8 A Note to Readers

9 Introduction: The Despondent Founder PSYCHOLOGICAL QUOTIENT – AN INTRODUCTION MY HOPE FOR YOU NOTES

10 Part I: Running to a Standstill 1 When Suicide Seems Like a Good Option BREAKING THE TABOO: DISCUSSING SUICIDE SELF-IMAGE AND INEPTITUDE DOES OUR ATTITUDE DEFINE OUR OUTCOMES? NOTES 2 Stepping Back from the Edge LOOKING FOR CLARITY NOTE 3 How External Events Trigger Negative Feelings PERSISTENCE: THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD FOUR TYPES OF STRESSORS HOW IS THIS THOUGHT HELPING ME? NOTES 4 Obstacles and Frustrations BARRIERS TO ENTRY – THE OLD VERSUS THE NEW RESOURCES VERSUS CONSTRAINTS PROCESS VERSUS REWARDS

11 Part II: Understanding Our Psychology 5 Building Our Psychological Quotient SEEKING A CRAZY KIND OF ADVENTURE WHEN OUR EMOTIONS CLASH WITH LOGIC THE THREE REGIONS OF INNER CONFLICT NOTE 6 Ethics BUILDING A START-UP WITH A SENSE OF MEANING ETHICS, MORALITY, RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND SUPEREGO 7 Do the Right Thing ETHICS AT WORK GREATEST GOOD FOR THE GREATEST NUMBER ETHICS AND SOCIAL CHANGE – LESSONS FROM COINBASE BUILDING AN ETHICAL FRAMEWORK 8 Ego – The Emperor and the Slave IMPULSES, EGO, AND SUPEREGO WHY IS EGO NECESSARY IN BUSINESS? THE EGO AND OUR SELF-IMAGE NOTES 9 Working with Your Ego A FOUNDER'S EGO IS ABNORMAL WHO DOES YOUR EGO SERVE? THE EGO IS NOT THE ENEMY 10 The Hidden Land of Desires and Motivations MEET YOUR ID THE DESIRE TO START SOMETHING UP OUR HIDDEN DESIRES AND DRIVERS THE DANGER OF UNMET DESIRES NOTE 11 Logos and the Mind THE ANALYTICAL ENGINE OF THE MIND WHAT IS THE MIND? THE THREE BROAD FUNCTIONS OF OUR MIND 12 Pathos: Belief Systems OUR BELIEFS DRIVE OUR BEHAVIORS OUR BELIEFS DICTATE OUR NARRATIVES IS AMBITION A VICE OR VIRTUE? IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU BELIEVE 13 Putting It All Together

12 Part III: Reassembling the Furniture 14 Toward Building a Healthy Ego WHAT IS A HEALTHY EGO? ARE YOU ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR IMPULSES? HOW DOES YOUR EGO PROTECT YOU WHEN YOU FEEL UNSAFE? CAN YOU MASTER YOUR EGO? NOTE 15 Psychotherapy: An Imperfect History of an Impossible Profession SIGMUND FREUD: THE PAST CREATES THE FUTURE CARL JUNG: A LOOK AT THE DARK SIDE ALFRED ADLER: THE PAST DOES NOT MATTER, JUST FOCUS ON THE PRESENT 16 Fearing Our Own Selves … and Other Mental Blocks HOW WE RESIST OUR DEVELOPMENT – IGNORANCE AND DENIAL DISMANTLING THE BLOCKS MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, ONE DESTINATION UNCOVER THE HIDDEN AND THE REPRESSED THE HARD THING ABOUT THERAPY – LETTING THE THERAPIST DRIVE 17 Stages of Therapy FOUR PHASES OF THERAPY 18 Challenges and Pitfalls in Therapy THE ROAD TO A HEALTHY MIND IS LONG 19 Medicating Our Way to Recovery THE MEDICATION DEBATE MOTIVATIONS, MONEY, AND THE NEED FOR SPEED TO MEDICATE OR NOT TO MEDICATE IS A LONGSTANDING DEBATE NOTES

13 Part IV: These Rituals Worked for Us 20 A Soul Made Cheerful WORKING ON YOUR INSIDE – THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE HOW WE AVOID SELF-CARE NOTES 21 Prescription 1 – An Organized Diminution of Work PAUSE, BALANCE, BREATHE THE FEELING OF NOT DOING NOTE 22 Prescription 2 – Get Out of Your Head LESS HEAD, MORE BODY SILENCING THE INNER CHATTER MANAGING THE VELCRO OF NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES CORTISOL, SEROTONIN, AND DOPAMINE – THE MAGIC OF TOUCH NOTE 23 Prescription 3 – Feeling, Not Thinking POETRY IS FEELING – NOT THINKING MUSIC AND MOODS IN SERVICE OF OTHERS GRATITUDE WITH PRESENCE IT'S A MATTER OF TIME – REFLECTIONS AND RUMINATION 24 Prescription 4 – Spirit over Mind STARING IN THE ABYSS WHAT DO YOU WORSHIP? PICK YOUR GODS OR THEY PICK YOU SEEKING SOLACE UNDERSTANDING OUR SHADOW SIDE – FEARS, ENVY, RESENTMENT 25 Prescription 5 – A Promise to Yourself 26 The Elements ofa Good Life

14 Postscript: How to Care for the Broken and the Depressed TOP REASONS FOUNDERS DO NOT ASK WHAT DO THE DEPRESSED NEED? WHAT THE DEPRESSED DO NOT NEED HOW TO HELP – A FEW GOOD EXAMPLES NOTES

15 Appendix I: A Founder's Mental Health Manifesto

16 Appendix II: Founders’ Voices and Anonymized Surveys

17 About the Author

18 About the Website

19 Index

20 End User License Agreement

1 Chapter 2 Table 2-1 Aspirations and Outcomes

2 Chapter 3 Table 3-1 External Events and Depression Triggers Table 3-2 Internal Feelings versus External Stressors

3 Chapter 4Table 4-1 Resources and Constraints Evolve with Stages of Growth

4 Chapter 7Table 7-1 An Ethical Framework from Two Perspectives

5 Chapter 12Table 12-1 Belief Systems

6 Chapter 13Table 13-1 Hierarchy of NeedsTable 13-2 Internal and External Stressors

7 Chapter 16Table 16-1 Knowing What We Know: The Johari Window into Our Minds

1 Chapter 1 Figure 1-1 Do our attitudes define our outcomes?

2 Chapter 2 Figure 2-1 Most depression episodes drop after ~10 months.

3 Chapter 3 Figure 3-1 Four types of stressors. Figure 3-2 Depression and stressful life events.

4 Chapter 5Figure 5-1 Acedia - overwhelmed, restless (but not depressed).Figure 5-2 The trifecta of our inner forces.