Ali Young - Work. Mama. Life.

1 COVER

2 TITLE PAGE WORK. MAMA. LIFE. FROM MOTHERHOOD BURNOUT TO ABUNDANT HEALTH, JOY AND WELLBEING ALI YOUNG

3 COPYRIGHT First published in 2022 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 42 McDougall St, Milton Qld 4064 Office also in Melbourne © John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 2022 The moral rights of the author have been asserted. ISBN: 978-0-730-39656-7 All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review), no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, communicated or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission. All inquiries should be made to the publisher at the address above. Cover design by Wiley Cover image: © Chinnapong/Shutterstock Inside cover photo by Hayley Bracewell Photography Disclaimer The material in this publication is of the nature of general comment only, and does not represent professional advice. It is not intended to provide specific guidance for particular circumstances and it should not be relied on as the basis for any decision to take action or not take action on any matter which it covers. Readers should obtain professional advice where appropriate, before making any such decision. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the author and publisher disclaim all responsibility and liability to any person, arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the information in this publication.

4 DEDICATION For my children, Matilda and George for gifting me motherhood, and to Pedro for supporting me on this wild soul ride I'm on.

5 ABOUT THE AUTHOR ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr Ali Young is a chiropractor on a mission to help mums reclaim and reset their health and their life. To rediscover their joy, self and health. After opening a private practice in Perth, Western Australia, in 2003, she soon began to work with many mums and children. She went on to complete her Masters Level Paediatrics degree in addition to her Chiropractic degree, and through this avenue of working with more and more children, she also began to work with more and more mothers. It became highly apparent to Ali that the stress load of life could easily negatively impact not just their health but also the mums' and families' enjoyment of life. Dr Ali became a mother for the first time herself in 2012, and with her husband moved to Malaysia as an expat mum in a foreign land. This radical shift from a very busy business owner to a mother with a minimal support group really highlighted the importance of understanding the motherhood journey, matrescence and the power of intuitive self and education. After several moves, time as a SAHM (stay at home mum) and a FIFO (fly-in fly-out) wife/mum, and throwing one more child into the mix, her family ended up living in South Korea for two years. This is where the concept of an online community for mothers was born. Combining her love of all things neurology, research, stress and chiropractic with her personal motherhood journey, Dr Ali created an online community, resource hub and courses for mothers the world over called UnFcK Motherhood. She continues her private practice in regional Queensland, having worked with thousands of mothers in her 20 or so years of clinical experience. She is passionate about providing mums with the opportunity to regain their health, their joy and their sense of self within their motherhood journey. Dr Ali lives in a small seaside town on the east coast of Australia, six hours north of her closest capital city. From here, she aspires to continue empowering mothers the world over with knowledge, evidence and intuitive practices.

6 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

7 INTRODUCTION About this book

8 Part I: WORK (AND YOU) (1) INTRODUCING MOTHERHOOD AND JOURNEYS Observations from before I took the leap into motherhood My journey into motherhood Support systems and stress From burnout to vitality (2) A MOTHERHOOD OF EXPECTATIONS Our inner critic: that mean girl mum living inside of us Intergenerational mothering: how our mothering is passed along The 5 common societal expectations of mothering (3) MATRESCENCE: FROM WOMAN TO MOTHER What is matrescence? Grieving our old life Hormonal shifts Mum-guilt The internal shift of a working mum's matrescence (4) THE AMAZING MOTHER BRAIN The magnificent changing mother brain Vitality, vagus and our autonomic nervous systems Helping our brain achieve vitality (5) STRESS AND BURNOUT IN MODERN MOTHERHOOD Recognising stress and burnout How chronic stress is impacting our mothers Motherhood and trauma The resilience bucket Motherhood burnout My top 10 reasons for motherhood burnout

9 Part II: MAMA (6) TOGETHER WE RISE The togetherness of values Before you look for a community, find yourself Energy, stuck-ness and you Finding your village (7) NOURISHMENT Why food matters to me The power of wholefoods (8) MOVE LIKE A MOTHER Fatigue, energy and movement Adrenals, rest and HIIT workouts Safe exercise and pelvic floor function Moving like a mother (9) THINK LIKE A CALM MUM Self-talk Positive psychology Mindset and motherhood: chasing calm Bring calm in daily The power of calm in a very un-calm world Affirmations for a calm motherhood Breathing and calm (10) SLEEP LIKE A MOTHER Sleep deprivation and the effect on our health Values and sleep choices Applying the motherhood lens to sleep The ‘how-to’ of better mama sleep

10 Part III: LIFE (11) THE TRANSFORMATION PYRAMID Source and Identity Beliefs Skills Behaviour Environment (12) THRIVE WITH YOUR VILLAGE Burnout and village Your brain, with community, will thrive Integrating village into our day to day (13) FAMILY FUN AND A NEW YOU Navigating the family push back Standing in your own light Acknowledging emotions: the mum edition Discovering your new self Environment integration and the new you Your family and your shiny new self (14) YOUR JOYFUL AND VITAL SELF IN A BIG WORLD Determining your self-worth Bold beacons Honouring you gets easier (15) SELFISH MOTHERHOOD AND WHY YOU MATTER The difference between selfishness and narcissism Mum-guilt and motherhood cups Affirmations of a perfectly selfish motherhood (16) THE WRAP-UP: YOUR MOTHERHOOD REVIVAL PLAN My Motherhood Revival Plan Things to remember

11 CONCLUSION

12 APPENDIX: RECIPES Breakfast Lunch Dinner Notes

13 REFERENCESIntroduction Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15

14 INDEX

15 END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

1 Cover

2 Table of Contents

3 Title Page

4 Copyright

5 Dedication

6 About the Author

7 Acknowledgements

8 Introduction

9 Begin Reading

10 Conclusion

11 Appendix: Recipes

12 References

13 Index

14 End User License Agreement

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