Andreas Gruber - The Power of Being

To invite a nay-sayer, to give his contributions.

To question what our values have to do with our personal wounds and consciously integrate that and be aware how that affects our view.

To eliminate our professional view, to come out of our "deformation professionelle", see comment after the next chart.

To let the mind rest, while holding a complex question, without reasoning or thinking about it.

To assume you have another belief system, and approach the matter from there.

To "slip into the moccasins" of another person and to view the issue from that standpoint.

Some of these approaches would appeal our right brain or non-conceptual thinking while others engage both sides. They will partly be dealt with throughout this book.

Although this book is not specifically about the left and right brain, it is clear that there is a connection to being vs. doing, as the list above demonstrates.

" Deformation professionelle ," is a French definition, which practically means that if we for example are teachers, lawyers or doctors we are likely to see everything as teachers, lawyers or doctors even when we are doing something that is out of our usual context. Over the years, our professional view tends to become one with our personality. We even tend to say, I am a teacher, or I am a lawyer or a doctor because this often becomes more than just a job for us. It represents the spectacles we see the world through. And wisely, the French have identified this as a potential deformation of our perception. And by the way, this is the reason it is extremely beneficial for corporations to have a certain percentage of outsiders coming from alien fields of work because they are likely to stay clear of that deformation for quite a while.

Over time, our profession deforms our minds and views, to a degree, where even common sense gets lost.Outsiders are the cure if we would only listen to them.

We ought to explore and make the best use of our minds. To find friends and colleagues to argue with for the sake of sharpening our mind can be very useful and even entertaining and helps us to break through some of the traps of our minds. We must never allow our minds to become dull if we are interested in being good decision makers and leaders.

Last but not least, we are not only externally influenced and torn and blown in all directions, but we are also governed by a multitude of internal factors, that we usually don't give much attention.

Sometimes more control is good, and other times less is even better. Having spent the better part of my life in developed countries, it seemed obvious that because we have learned to control things, we live comfortable lives. And yet, it doesn't make us happier human beings. On the contrary, control is often the death of spontaneity. In times when we even make play dates for children, something gets lost on the way.

Nature teaches usthat not everything can be controlled.

When trekking in Greenland in the year 1999, I went to a local travel agent and booked a domestic flight from a distant village. Since we had a connecting flight, I asked the woman if she thought the flight would be on time. She answered, "Maybe." I was a little bit puzzled about that answer, so I asked her whether the flight was likely to take place at all. And in a friendly manner, she said, "Maybe." Later, I found out that maybe is the most frequently used word in their culture. The Inuit people of Greenland use the word maybe, actually meaning "if nature allows." While in the West, we live under the impression that we can control almost everything, the Inuit people live in harsh conditions, knowing that they can never control nature. In management, there is a saying that, "The only thing you can manage is time."

Nowadays we have infinitely more choices, resulting in less time to live, due to all the planning required.

Another interesting aspect of modern life is that the more choices we have, the more we have the feeling we need to plan. Having children belonging to Generation Y, or being one yourself, you may realize that these children not only grow up with more distractions but also infinitely more choices. Having all these marvelous opportunities, they wish to make the best out of their lives. I've seen young, smart, and beautiful people planning and dreaming of their career to such an extent that it seemed as though they had forgotten how to live. I think what our children may be doing is holding up the mirror to the rest of us. Isn’t this what we all do to a certain extent?

"Life happens to us while we are busy doing other things."

John Lennon

Have you ever caught yourself wanting to get over the present moment as fast as possible, to arrive at the desired future faster? Imagine, that means that the present moment isn't good enough, and we have something better in mind. It took me quite a while to grasp what that means to me. At least 40 years of my life I spent yearning and longing for a better future. And would I go on like that, I would inevitably end up wishing the good old times back as I get old.

I cannot remember that I ever experienced tomorrow, but occasionally I have been in the now.

So what does it mean to me? It means that I realize that I have never experienced tomorrow as such. And this is not a philosophical view. No, on a very practical level I can only experience life in the now, in the present moment. Believe me, I have tried to experience tomorrow, but it never worked out for me, and I'm not the only one.

The more plans I have, the more problems follow with it. Firmly believing that the problems are likely to be there, I should plan ahead to prevent them. Not taking into account the fact that most problems never happen as I expected. And if I'm a good planner, I can make a science out of my plans and goals. The result being that I'm becoming an expert in dealing with virtual problems.

Most things worthwhile elude us as soon as we plan them.

If you imagine a desired outcome or goal and compare that with the actual situation, then the gap in between is called a problem. That's what we are missing, what we still need to achieve. To reach something, we think we need goals. We have become the masters in defining goals, and that implies a lot of problems, doesn't it? Personally, I had become a master of what was missing, often overlooking what was there.

Life is about getting rid of problems, which separate us from our desirable goals; avoiding the tedious present.

Other than solving problems, which are based on our thinking, we don't seem to know much about how to reach goals. We may think, if we only solve the problems, we will get to the goal. Well, sometimes it is true, and many times it’s not even close. Although I'm an achiever, I realized when looking back on my life, that the major events in my life did not have much to do with planning or controlling. The way job offers came to me, the way I found apartments, the way love manifested, the way and time people are born and pass away, and many other things.

Ultimately planning is the wish to control, which again is a way to deal with insecurity and fear. And before looking at the bigger picture, like political or corporate, we need to view our personal lives. We can travel to paradise on earth and still be bored. In the same way, we can feel unsafe in any environment. I believe that a person who feels safe within, and is fulfilled, doesn't need to plan and control everything. A trust in life as such seems to be there. We feel guided and gratified even if there is nothing special going on.