W. Somerset Maugham - Christmas Holiday (W. Somerset Maugham) (Literary Thoughts Edition)

“And when you die will it have mattered a damn whether you ever lived or not?”

For a moment the unexpected question disconcerted Charley and he flushed.

“I don’t suppose it will.”

“Are you satisfied with that?”

“To tell you the truth, I’ve never thought about it. But if you ask me point-blank, I think I should be a fool if I weren’t. I could never have become a great artist. I talked it over with Father that summer after I came down, when we went fishing in Norway. He put it awfully nicely. Poor old dear, he was very anxious not to hurt my feelings, but I couldn’t help admitting that what he said was true. I’ve got a natural facility for doing things, I can paint a bit and write a bit and play a bit, perhaps I might have had a chance if I’d only been able to do one thing; but it was only a facility. Father was quite right when he said that wasn’t enough, and I think he was right too when he said it was better to be a pretty good business man than a second-rate artist. After all, it’s a bit of luck for me that old Sibert Mason married the cook and started growing vegetables on a bit of land that the growth of London turned into a valuable property. Don’t you think it’s enough if I do my duty in that state of life in which providence, or chance, if you like, has placed me?”

Simon gave him a smile more indulgent than any that had tortured his features that evening.

“I dare say, Charley. But not for me. I would sooner be smashed into a mangled pulp by a bus when we cross the street than look forward to a life like yours.”

Charley looked at him calmly.

“You see, Simon, I have a happy nature and you haven’t.”

Simon chuckled.

“We must see if we can’t change that. Let’s stroll along. I’ll take you to the Sérail.”

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