Abu Abu Rumaysah al Britani - A Brief Guide to Islamic State (2015)

Jubun bread

Diamond shaped pieces of delicately baked bread stuffed with melted cheese. Other fillings include spiced chicken and minced lamb.

Fruity cocktails

Very popular in the summer and costing less than a dollar, use your imagination to create your own unique blends. You can even spoil yourself by adding milk, sugar and crushed ice.

Tea and coffee

If you were worried about leaving behind your local Costa Coffee then you will be happy to know that the Caliphate serves some of the best lattes and cappuccinos around. The milk is truly delightful — creamy and fresh. As for the tea then the distinctive pekoe leaves of Layalina are, at the moment, the frontrunners.

Ice cream

Fluffy, velvety and sweet. If you want to treat yourself then indulge in this full fat delight all for less than 30 pence.

Bizr

Roasted sunflower seeds. Can be found salted or unsalted. A popular snack.

Chocolates

Snickers, Kit Kat, Bounty, Twix, Kinder Surprise, Cadburys — yes, yes we have it all.

The great thing about food in the Caliphate is its freshness. You can be sure that the vegetables you crunch down on basked gloriously in the sunshine before reaching your dinner plate. And what about the olive groves? Yes, there are plenty of them and the pickles and rich oils that spring from them beat anything from your local Tescos or Walmart.

If nothing here tickles your taste buds then remember we have only scratched the surface; as more Muslims flock to the Caliphate from Europe, Asia, the Caribbean Islands and elsewhere you can be sure to find your mouth watering morsels somewhere. I cannot help but think that in the near future we will be eating curries and chow meins on the streets of Raqqah and Mosul.

Lastly, another great perk about food in the Caliphate is that everything is 100% halal. No squinting at the back of food packets looking for those dreaded ‘E’ numbers, alcohol additives or pork gelatine; all the meat here is thoroughly checked and approved fit for consumption.

This really depends on where you are, but as it stands the Caliphate offers an exquisite Mediterranean climate that has all the makings of a plush holiday resort. Whether it is the sandy ruggedness of Barakah or the green hilly plains of Halab, wherever you are, I guarantee you will find the scenery truly breath-taking.

As for the temperature then expect extremes on both ends, because when it gets hot — it gets really hot, but it is probably not too different from the heat waves you have experienced once or twice in your lifetime, and you can do things to make it bearable. The Caliphate even offer refreshing water in masjids [9] Places of worship for Muslims. and, surprisingly, on market streets; they also ensure men and women are appropriately covered up, which is such a blessing especially if you have had the unfortunate experience of growing up in Dar ul Kufr. [10] Any land where the law and order is non-Islamic even if the majority of the population are Muslims. The sizzling summer heat also gives the greenery here a certain lushness that is rich and vivid — something you will savour and cherish.

Winter has the same frostiness that you get in most European countries, bar may be Scandinavia. In northern Syria it can get very cold, and in the Halab region in January 2015 entire towns were covered with layers of bright fluffy snow. Do not fret too much about it though, because the Caliphate will cushion the cost of heating your home and you will also get to enjoy the wonders of the renowned mazoot soba. [11] A portable furnace used in the home that generates heat by burning diesel.

With the headquarters of the Caliphate, at the present time, being closer to the equator daylight hours do not swing around as they do with countries in the upper regions of the northern hemisphere. Expect night and day to alternate in equal portions of 12 hours each, give or take a couple of hours as the seasons progress.

The Caliphate is an expanding kingdom, and is therefore heavily reliant on a good transport network. As a citizen of the Islamic State you are not just a resident of Raqqah or Fallujah you are part of a transnational empire that refuses to confine your identity with man-made borders.

Nothing helps to explain this more than the annihilation of the border between Iraq and Syria in 2014. The bulldozing of this satanic boundary by the mujahideen that had separated Muslims for so long was a picture perfect moment. Sykes and Picot would have baulked in horror at the scene, Alhamdulillah. [12] All praise be to Allah.

It reminds me of a short conversation I had with a young man called Abu Yusuf, on entering the Caliphate in early October 2014, which remains with me till this day.

We and around 40 other muhajireen [13] Plural of ‘muhajir’. Meaning emigrants to the Islamic State. were sitting under olive trees masking ourselves from the cowardly drones when I asked him, “So akhi, where are you from?” “Palestine.” he replied. On hearing this I smiled and said, “Inshaa’Allah [14] If Allah wills. we will conquer and liberate it soon.” I was expecting him to smile and acknowledge the statement, but instead he replied, “No brother. Inshaa’Allah we will liberate and conquer Burma, Central African Republic, China and the whole world until it is all under the law of Allah.”

Wow, I could not believe my ears. Here we had a teenager, not more than 18 or 19, from one of the most oppressed places in the world, and yet his mind-set was that of a statesman — bold and visionary. It was from this point on that I realised the Caliphate had attracted some of the brightest talent to its land, and that the West had a monumental task on their hands in their crusade against the Islamic State.

The large swathes of territory captured by the Islamic State, as Western commentators coin it, will remain and can only get bigger, and I am certain those reading this message ten or twenty years from now will testify to this. As it stands, the land grab is pretty big, and one of the first priorities of the Islamic State will have to be those long windy pieces of tarmac called roads.

I recently met a muhajir [15] Migrant to the Islamic State. from Egypt who also happened to hold a degree in civil engineering, he was tasked with the heavy responsibility of maintaining the Caliphate’s roads in the popular province of Raqqah. “How is the work going?” I asked. “Okay. Maintaining the roads shouldn’t be too difficult,” he replied confidently, “but we will need a lot of asphalt.”

The Caliphate is dead serious about state building, and the transport network showcases this brilliantly. Most, if not all, of the provinces have their own means of transport made available for the public, which at the moment is largely made up of buses and bright yellow taxis.

Private ownership is also a nice alternative, especially if you prefer to avoid the hustle and bustle of public transport. The most popular brand of car here is the South Korean Kia and Hyundai, but you can find other models, just keep in mind that the Caliphate operates a left hand drive system.

Chinese motorbikes are also very widespread, more so than cars, and are a great option if you are on a budget. You can pick up a brand new Honda Akkad or Part for around $500, or $300 second one full charge will give you around 40km riding time, which is not that great, but I guess the convenience of charging your battery for free on the Caliphate’s electric grid offsets this.