Lemony Snicket - The Slippery Slope

"All we've had to eat all day is that smoked salmon, and it's almost dinnertime," Count Olaf said. "You'd better get cooking, orphan."

"Tomorrow is False Spring," Esmé said, "and it would be very in to have a False Spring dinner."

"Did you hear that, toothy?" Olaf asked. "My girlfriend wants a stylish dinner. Get to work."

"Olaf, we need you," said a very deep voice, and Violet and Quigley saw two pairs of sinister black shoes appear behind the villain and his girlfriend, whose shoes twitched nervously at the sight of them. All of a sudden, it seemed much colder underneath the car, and Violet had to push her legs against the tires, so they would not shiver against the mechanics of the underside and be heard.

"Yes, Olaf," agreed the hoarse voice of the man with a beard but no hair, although Violet and Quigley could not see him. "Our recruitment plan will happen first thing in the morning so we need you to help spread the net out on the ground."

"Can't you ask one of our employees?" asked Esmé. "There's the hook-handed man the two white-faced women, and the three freaks we picked up at the carnival. That's eight people, if you include yourselves, to spread out the net. Why should we do it?"

The four black shoes stepped toward Esmé's stylish pumps and Olaf's tattoo. "You'll do it," said the woman with hair but no beard, "because I say so."

There was a long, ominous pause, and then Count Olaf gave a little high-pitched laugh. "That's a good point," he said. "Come on, Esmé. We've bossed around the baby, so there's nothing else to do around here anyway."

"That's true," Esmé agreed. "In fact, I was thinking about taking up smoking again, because I'm bored. Do you have any more of those green cigarettes?"

"I'm afraid not," replied the man with a beard but no hair, leading the villains away from the car. "That's the only one I found."

"That's too bad," Esmé said. "I don't like the taste or the smell, and they're very bad for you, but cigarettes are very in and I'd like to smoke another one."

"Maybe there's another one in the ruins of headquarters," said the woman with hair but no beard. "It's hard to find everything in all those ashes. We searched for days and couldn't find the sugar bowl."

"Not in front of the baby," Olaf said quickly, and the four pairs of shoes walked away. Violet and Quigley stayed underneath the car until Sunny said "Coastkleer," which meant something like, "It's safe to come out now."

"Those were terrible people," Quigley said with a shudder, brushing oil and grime off his coat. "They made me feel cold all over."

"They certainly had an aura of menace " Violet agreed in a whisper. "The feet with the tattoo were Count Olaf, and those glittery shoes were Esmé Squalor, but who were the other two, Sunny?"

"Unno Narsonist," Sunny murmured. She meant something along the lines of "I don't know, but they burned down V.F.D. headquarters," and Violet was quick to explain this to Quigley.

"Klaus has found an important message that survived the fire," Violet said. "By the time we take you down the waterfall, I'm sure he'll have decoded the message. Come on."

"Nogo," Sunny said, which meant "I don't think I ought to accompany you."

"Why on earth not?" Violet asked.

"Unasanc," Sunny said.

"Sunny says that the villains have mentioned one more safe place for volunteers to gather," Violet explained to Quigley.

"Do you know where it is?" Quigley asked.

Sunny shook her head. "Olafile," she said.

"But if Count Olaf has the Snicket file," Violet said, "how are you going to find out where this safe place is?"

"Matahari," she said, which meant something like, "If I stay, I can spy on them and find out."

"Absolutely not," Violet said, after she had translated. "It's not safe for you to stay here, Sunny. It's bad enough that Olaf has made you do the cooking."

"Lox," Sunny pointed out.

"But what are you going to make for a False Spring dinner?" Violet asked.

Sunny gave her sister a smile, and walked over to the trunk of the car. Violet and Quigley heard her rummaging around among the remaining groceries, but stayed put so Olaf or any of his associates wouldn't spot them. When Sunny returned, she had a triumphant smile on her face, and the frozen hunk of spinach, the large bag of mushrooms, the can of water chestnuts, and the enormous eggplant in her arms. "False spring rolls!" she said, which meant something like, "An assortment of vegetables wrapped in spinach leaves, prepared in honor of False Spring."

"I'm surprised you can even carry that eggplant, let alone prepare it," Violet said. "It must weigh as much as you do."

"Suppertunity," Sunny said. She meant something like, "Serving the troupe dinner will be a perfect chance to listen to their conversation," and Violet reluctantly translated.

"It sounds dangerous," Quigley said.

"Of course it's dangerous," Violet said. "If she's caught spying, who knows what they'll do?"

"Ga ga goo goo," Sunny said, which meant "I won't be caught, because they think I'm only a helpless baby."

"I think your sister is right," Quigley said. "It wouldn't be safe to carry her down the waterfall, anyway. We need our hands and feet for the climb. Let Sunny investigate the mystery she's most likely to solve, while we work on an escape plan."

Violet shook her head. "I don't want to leave my sister behind," she said. "The Baudelaires should never be separated."

"Separate Klaus," Sunny pointed out.

"If there's another place where volunteers are gathering," Quigley said, "we need to know where it is. Sunny can find out for us, but only if she stays here."

"I'm not going to leave my baby sister on top of a mountain," Violet said.

Sunny dropped her vegetables on the ground and walked over to her sister and smiled. "I'm not a baby," Sunny said, and hugged her. It was the longest sentence the youngest Baudelaire had ever said, and as Violet looked down at her sister, she saw how true it was. Sunny was not really a baby, not anymore. She was a young girl with unusually sharp teeth, some impressive cooking skills, and an opportunity to spy on a group of villains and discover a piece of crucial information. Sometime, during the unfortunate events that had befallen the three orphans, Sunny had grown out of her babyhood, and although it made Violet a bit sad to think about it, it made her proud, too, and she gave her sister a smile.

"I guess you're right," Violet said. "You're not a baby. But be careful, Sunny. You're a young girl, but it's still quite dangerous for a young girl to spy on villains. And remember, we're right at the bottom of the slope, Sunny. If you need us, just signal again."

Sunny opened her mouth to reply, but before she could utter a sound, the three children heard a long, lazy hissing noise from underneath Olaf's car, as if one of Dr. Montgomery's snakes were hiding there. The car shifted lightly, and Violet pointed to one of Olaf's tires, which had gone flat. "I must have punctured it," Violet said, "with my fork-assisted climbing shoes."

"I suppose that's not a nice thing to do," Quigley said, "but I can't say I'm sorry."

"How's dinner coming along, toothface?" called Count Olaf's cruel voice over the sound of the wind.

"I guess we'd better leave before we're discovered," Violet said, giving her sister one more hug and a kiss on the top of her head. "We'll see you soon, Sunny."

"Good-bye, Sunny," Quigley said. "I'm so glad we finally met in person. And thank you very much for helping us find the last safe place."

Sunny Baudelaire looked up at Quigley, and then at her older sister, and gave them both a big, happy smile that showed all of her impressive teeth. After spending so much time in the company of villains, she was happy to be with some people who respected her skills, appreciated her work, and understood her way of speaking. Even with Klaus still at the bottom of the waterfall, Sunny felt as if she had already been happily reunited with her family, and that her time in the Mortmain Mountains would have a happy ending. She was wrong about that of course, but for now the youngest Baudelaire smiled up at these two people who cared about her, one she had just met and one she had known her entire life, and felt as if she were growing taller at that very moment.