Lemony Snicket - The Carnivorous Carnival

"Olivi — " Klaus started to say, but then looked around the crowd and realized it would be foolish to use her real name. "I mean, Madame Lulu," he corrected himself, and then leaned across Violet to speak as quietly as he could. "Let's walk as slowly as we can. Maybe we can find an opportunity to sneak back to the tent and dismantle the lightning device."

Madame Lulu did not answer, but merely shook her head slightly to indicate that it was not a good time to speak of such matters.

"Fan belt," Sunny reminded her, as quietly as she could, but Madame Lulu just shook her head.

"You kept your promise, didn't you?" Klaus murmured, scarcely above a whisper, but Madame Lulu stared ahead as if she had not heard. He nudged his older sister inside their shared shirt. "Violet," he said, scarcely daring to use her real name. "Ask Madame Lulu to walk more slowly."

Violet glanced briefly at Klaus, and then turned her head to catch Sunny's eye. The younger Baudelaires looked back at their sister and watched her shake her head slightly, just as Madame Lulu had, and then look down, where she was holding the fortune-teller's hand. Between two of Violet's fingers, Klaus and Sunny could see the tip of a small piece of rubber, which they recognized immediately. It was the part of Madame Lulu's lightning device that resembled a fan belt — the very thing Violet needed to turn the carts of the roller coaster into an invention that could carry the Baudelaires out of the hinterlands and up into the Mortmain Mountains. But instead of feeling hopeful as they looked at this crucial item in Violet's hand, all three Baudelaires felt something quite a bit less pleasant.

If you have ever experienced something that feels strangely familiar, as if the exact same thing has happened to you before, then you are experiencing what the French call "déjà vu." Like most French expressions — "ennui," which is a fancy term for severe boredom, or "la petite mort," which describes a feeling that part of you has died — "déjà vu" refers to something that is usually not very pleasant, and it was not pleasant for the Baudelaire orphans to arrive at the lion pit and experience the queasy feeling of déjà vu. When the children had been staying at Heimlich Hospital, they had found themselves in an operating theater, surrounded by a large crowd that was very eager to see something violent occur, such as an operation performed on someone. When the children were living in the town of V.F.D., they had found themselves in a field, surrounded by a large crowd eager to see something violent occur, such as the burning of someone at the stake. And now, as Madame Lulu let go of their hands, the children looked at the enormous and strangely familiar crowd towering over them at the ruined roller coaster. Once again, there were people eager for something violent to happen. Once again, the Baudelaires were afraid for their lives. And once again, it was all because of Count Olaf. The siblings looked past the cheering crowd at the two roller-coaster carts that Violet had adapted. All the invention needed was the fan belt, and the children could continue their search for one of the Baudelaire parents, but as Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked across the pit at the two small carts joined with ivy and altered to travel across the hinterlands, they felt the queasiness of déjà vu and wondered if there was another unhappy ending in store for them.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the most exciting afternoon of your entire lives!'

Count Olaf announced, and cracked his whip into the pit. The whip was just long enough to strike the restless lions, who roared obediently and gnashed their teeth in hunger. "These carnivorous lions are ready to eat a freak," he said. "But which freak will it be?"

The crowd parted, and the hook-handed man emerged, leading the Baudelaires' coworkers in a line toward the edge of the pit where the Baudelaires stood. Hugo, Colette, and Kevin had evidently been told to dress in their freakish clothes rather than in the gifts Esmé had given them, and they gave the Baudelaires a small smile and stared nervously at the snarling lions. Once the children's coworkers had taken their places, Count Olaf's other comrades emerged from the crowd. Esmé Squalor was wearing a pinstripe suit and carrying a parasol, which is a small umbrella used for keeping the sun out of one's eyes, and she smiled at the crowd and sat down on a small chair brought by Olaf's bald associate, who was also holding a long, flat piece of wood that he placed at the edge of the pit so it hung over the lions like a diving board over a swimming pool. Finally, the two white-faced women stepped forward, holding a small wooden box with a hole in the top.

"I'm so glad this is my last day in these clothes," Hugo murmured to the Baudelaires, gesturing to his ill-fitting coat. "Just think — soon I'll be a member of Count Olaf's troupe, and I'll never have to look like a freak again."

"Unless you're thrown to the lions," Klaus couldn't help replying.

"Are you kidding?" Hugo whispered back. "If I'm the one chosen, I'm going to throw Madame Lulu into the pit, just like Esmé said."

"Look closely at all these freaks," Count Olaf said, as several people in the audience tittered. "Observe Hugo's funny back. Think about how silly it is that Colette can bend herself into all sorts of strange positions. Giggle at the absurdity of Kevin's ambidextrous arms and legs. Snicker at Beverly and Elliot, the two-headed freak. And laugh so hard that you can scarcely breathe at Chabo the Wolf Baby."

The crowd erupted into laughter, pointing and laughing at the people they thought were funniest.

"Look at Chabo's ridiculous teeth!" cried a woman who had dyed her hair several colors at once. "She looks positively idiotic!"

"I think Kevin is funnier!" replied her husband, who had dyed his hair to match. "I hope he's thrown into the pit. It'll be fun to see him try to defend himself with both hands and feet."

"I hope it's the hook-handed freak!" said a woman standing in back of the Baudelaires. "That will make it even more violent!"

"I'm not a freak," the hook-handed man snarled impatiently. "I'm an employee of Count Olaf's."

"Oh, sorry," the woman replied. "In that case, I hope it's that man with pimples all over his chin."

"I'm a member of the audience!" the man cried. "I'm not a freak. I just have a few skin problems."

"Then what about that woman in that silly suit?" she asked. "Or that guy with only one eyebrow?"

"I'm Count Olaf's girlfriend," Esmé said, "and my suit is in, not silly."

"I don't care who's a freak and who isn't," said someone else in the crowd. "I just want to see the lions eat somebody."

"You will," Count Olaf promised. "We're going to have the choosing ceremony right now. The names of all the freaks have been written down on small scraps of paper and placed in the box that these two lovely ladies are holding."

The two white-faced women held up the wooden box and curtsied to the audience, while Esmé frowned at them. "I don't think they're particularly lovely," she said, but few people heard her over the cheering of the crowd.

"I'm going to reach inside the box," Count Olaf said, "draw out one piece of paper, and read the name of the freak out loud. Then that freak will walk down that wooden plank and jump into the pit, and we'll all watch as the lions eat him."

"Or her," Esmé said. She looked over at Madame Lulu, and then at the Baudelaires and their coworkers. Putting down her parasol for a moment, she raised both of her long-nailed hands and made a small, pushing motion to remind them of her scheme.

"Or her," Count Olaf said, looking curiously at Esmé's gesture. "Now, are there any questions before we begin?"

"Why do you get to choose the name?" asked the pimpled man.