Дуглас Престон - Jennie

Hugo had the idea of buying Jennie the trike. He wanted to do it right. Buying a tricycle, he said, is a great moment in a kid’s life. He was so proud. Just like a father. Poor Hugo, he was terribly attached to Jennie. He never got over her, you know. So one glorious fall weekend, the kind when the air practically sings , we all went down to Kibbencook Cycle. As long as I live, I’ll never forget that day.

It was the only bike shop in town and it was down there by the railroad bridge. Of course it’s long gone. Now it’s one of those dreadful pasta shops, selling the homemade spaghetti at ten dollars the pound. The dry cleaners next door is now a gourmet cookie shop, and the old Kibbencook Dry Goods across the bridge is some kind of fancy housewares store selling those two-hundred-dollar coffee machines. Can you imagine? Oh! But it isn’t called coffee anymore, it’s called espresso. Lord save us.

Kibbencook Cycle had two huge plate glass windows in the front, with the name in gold paint. Behind the windows sat a row of the most marvelous bicycles you ever saw, with fat tires and swept-back chrome trim. Powder blue bikes for the girls, candy apple red for the boys. They made bikes back then like they made Cadillac cars, big and shiny and goofy.

Anyway, the shop was run by old Sam Hoyt and his son. Old Hoyt! He was dry and silent, with a face as smooth as Buddha. That man never said a word. When you asked for something, he’d shuffle off and go get it. Not a word. I’ll tell you, he could sure ring up a cash register fast enough. And try to get a refund out of the old skinflint! His wife ran away with the Fuller Brush man.

The Hoyt son was fat and he never stopped talking, and he always tripped over the bikes or the hockey sticks. I can’t remember his first name. He enlisted to go to Vietnam and his father was so proud, and then he was blown to bits in some kind of booby trap, helping himself to souvenirs at some Vietnamese village. We felt so sorry for poor Mr. Hoyt. But he never said a word, just sold the shop and disappeared. We all wondered where he went.

Sandy went in first, dragging Jennie by the hand. Without even giving the Hoyts time to think, he announced: “We’ve come to buy a tricycle for my little sister Jennie!” and he shoved Jennie forward. My goodness! The sister business was, to say the least, a surprise. We asked him later why he said that. He said he thought it would sound really dumb if he said we were buying a trike for our pet chimpanzee. And anyway, she could easily be a sister; she didn’t look all that different. We had started dressing Jennie in shorts and a little T-shirt. I have to admit, she was starting to look just like a little person. It took an effort to think of her as an animal. It really did.

Sandy was so proud. He had trained Jennie to shake hands, and so she shook everyone’s hand. Old Sam Hoyt, he stood there without the slightest change of expression. He just shook Jennie’s hand like it was the most normal thing in the world. After all, a sale is a sale.

Hugo and I didn’t say a word. This was Sandy’s show.

Young Hoyt, the fat one, stood there thunderstruck. He couldn’t believe it. “What, your sistah?” he blurted out, spraying saliva all over the place. Hoyt and his son both had these appalling North Shore accents. Danvers, I think.

Sandy came right back at him. “Yeah,” he said. “My sister . What of it?”

I’m sorry, it was just so funny. [She wipes her eyes.] Sandy was so... so creative in his approach to life. His sister! Oh dear...

Anyway, young Hoyt said “Oooh” as if everything had suddenly been made clear.

So Sandy told him in no uncertain terms that his sister wanted a tricycle. Poor Hoyt was so nervous. He led us over to a row of trikes, all the while trying not to look at Jennie. He must have thought her terribly deformed. Sandy told him that Jennie wanted a red bike, not a blue one. Hoyt rolled one forward with his finger. And then Jennie gave a hoot. Really, it was a perfect chimpanzee hoot. Young Hoyt jerked as if he’d been slapped. His nervous eyes were darting everywhere but at Jennie. And then he finally looked at her and said:

“Get outta here! That ain’t no kid!”

[Laughs.] Oh my goodness! There was a shocked silence. Sandy turned on Hoyt with all the dignity he could muster, and said to him: “Shut your big mouth, fatso! She is too!”

Dear oh dear... Hoyt started apologizing all over the place. I don’t know what the poor boy thought Jennie was after that. Sam Hoyt just watched from behind the cash register, ready to ring up the sale as if nothing out of the ordinary were going on.

So we rolled out the red tricycle for Jennie to try out, and Sandy picked her up and put her on the seat.

You must remember that Jennie’s last experience on a bicycle had not exactly been pleasant. That chimp had a memory like a steel trap. She opened that pink mouth and let fly a shriek that fairly blew out the plate glass windows in the front of the shop. Poor Hoyt, he was just sweating with nervousness. Sandy lowered Jennie to the floor and she shut up. Thank goodness. Then she bent over and examined her knee. It was so touching; you see, she was worried she might have skinned her knee again!

Sandy got on the tricycle and pedaled around the shop, saying, “Look, Jennie, isn’t this fun?” And Jennie started her usual hop of excitement and stretched her arms toward the trike. She wanted to do everything that Sandy did. Sandy gave it to her and she climbed aboard. There was a tense moment of silence. Young Hoyt was looking on, his eyes popping. You see, Jennie had opposable thumbs on her feet like all chimpanzees. Her feet were really hands. What do you call that? Prehensile; she had prehensile feet. So instead of placing her feet on the pedals, she actually grabbed them with her feet. She gave a push with one leg and the trike inched forward. Then she gave a big push and the trike moved a few feet.

Well! When she felt herself moving, did she get excited!

She stood up in the seat and gave a big hoot of triumph. And then she began pedaling furiously. She was much more dextrous with her feet than a human child. The trike shot forward and went careening around the shop. She knew how to pedal, but she didn’t know how to steer. Sandy tried to grab the bars as she went by. Oh dear! She went straight into a row of bikes and they all came crashing down. Hugo whipped out his wallet and said we’d buy it right away, before any more damage was done.

But Jennie wanted to ride again. She grabbed the handlebars and began trying to pull the trike away from Sandy. A tug-of-war began. And Jennie began screeching with frustration. The noises she made when she was upset! Sandy wouldn’t let her have it, and I started to yell at Jennie too. But of course nothing worked. She hung on to that trike with every ounce of her energy. Jennie never listened to me; I was just her mother. Hugo was the only one she would obey, and even then not always.

We tried to pry Jennie away, but she just gripped harder. When that chimp held on to something, she had four hands to do it with, and you couldn’t get anything away from her. And her grip! So Hugo, he just scooped her and the trike up together, carried them out to the station wagon, and shoved them both in the back. It was just one big tangle of shiny chrome and hairy limbs.

When we got home, Hugo pulled her out, still clinging to the trike, and put them on the lawn. We all backed off to watch. When Jennie saw that we were far enough away she untangled herself and got back on it. It wouldn’t go on the lawn. So she gave it a few good whacks and when that didn’t work, oh, did she get mad then! When Jennie had a tantrum, she would work up a screaming that was quite magnificent to hear, until she lost her breath and began to choke and gasp in her fury. At first I was positively frightened by her tantrums, but after a few of them I could only laugh. She was like the boy who held his breath until he turned blue. Chimps are just as silly and absurd as human beings. Thank goodness we’re not the only ridiculous species in the world!