Эрин Хантер - Hawkwing’s Journey

“They will get better, won’t they?” Bellaleaf asked; she had stayed crouched beside her brother ever since she returned.

“That’s in the paws of StarClan,” Echosong replied, but then added, “I’ve seen cats recover from worse illness than this.”

“I wish there was something I could do,” Bellaleaf meowed.

“There is,” Hawkwing told her briskly. “Lead a hunting patrol, and bring back some prey for them when they wake up.”

Bellaleaf glanced at Rileypool, clearly reluctant to leave him, then rose to her paws. “Right away, Hawkwing. I’ll find some other cats.”

“You’re right to keep her busy,” Echosong mewed to Hawkwing when Bellaleaf had gone. “I wouldn’t say this in front of her, but I’m not hopeful for Rileypool. Firefern, too. They’re both very far gone.”

A heavy knot of dread gathered in Hawkwing’s belly as he braced himself to ask the next question. “And Finkit?”

Echosong sighed, looking at the kit’s frail chest as it rose and fell. “It’s hard to say. He has youth on his side. But he’s so tiny…

.”

Hawkwing felt like his heart was being squeezed so tightly it might burst. He had to look away.

Please, StarClan, if anything I’ve ever done has pleased you… please, spare that kit.

The last warriors of StarClan were fading from the sky as the dawn light strengthened. In the middle of the rocky hollow the cats of SkyClan crouched around the bodies of their Clanmates, stiff and cold in death, with frost sparkling in their fur.

Hawkwing tried to find some consolation in looking at the cats who had survived the sickness. M acgyver and Blossomheart were out of danger, though still weak and shaky. And Finkit looked desperately small and skinny beside his robust littermates, but he was gaining strength every day. A small spark of joy kindled inside

Hawkwing as he remembered the moment when Finkit had opened his eyes, wailing plaintively for his mother and complaining about how hungry he was.

But his joy was quenched when he looked at the bodies of Rileypool and Firefern, who were lost to the illness. They’ll never hunt again, never have an apprentice to mentor, never take a mate or have kits…

As the sky grew flushed with rose and amber where the sun would rise, Echosong rose to her paws and took a few paces forward to stand beside her dead Clanmates. “M ay StarClan light your path, Firefern and Rileypool,” she mewed, using the words which medicine cats had spoken beside the dead for seasons upon seasons. “M ay you find good hunting, swift running, and shelter when you sleep.”

Her words signaled the end of the vigil. Cats began to rise and stretch the stiffness out of their muscles. With no elders remaining in the Clan, Hawkwing was wondering who to choose to take care of the burial, when Leafstar also rose and came to stand beside

Echosong.

“We have lost two valuable Clanmates,” she began, then stopped as her voice quivered on the last few words.

Hawkwing understood how difficult this was for his Clan leader. It was her duty to inspire her Clan, and yet she was also grieving as a mother. Only Harrybrook remained of the kits she and Billystorm had together, and Billystorm himself was gone, buried in a remote place where Leafstar would never set paw.

The Clan leader took several deep breaths and gave her pelt a shake. “Yet it’s important that we go on believing in our Clan,” she went on, in command of herself again. “Rileypool and Firefern believed, and I believe, that StarClan will guide us to a brighter future.”

“I’d like to believe that too.” Plumwillow spoke up from where she sat beside her kits. “But if StarClan wants to guide us, why hasn’t Echosong had another vision?”

It was Echosong who replied. “I had the dream that led me back to you,” she pointed out. “And that means that StarClan has broken their silence.”

“Then why hasn’t StarClan just told you where to find the lake and the other Clans?” Sagenose challenged her.

“Visions don’t work like that,” Echosong told him, a hint of regret in her voice. “StarClan shows me what it wants to show, when it wants to show me. We must all have faith.”

“We’ve had faith ever since we were driven out of the gorge,” Plumwillow meowed bitterly. “If StarClan cares for us, surely they would have given us some better guidance by now? We’ve been tramping through barren territory for so long!” She let out a contemptuous snort. “Does StarClan enjoy seeing us suffer like this? How can we still be loyal to them?”

Gasps of dismay came from some of her Clanmates, but others were nodding and murmuring agreement.

“You mustn’t talk like that,” Hawkwing protested.

“Yes, StarClan must have a reason for what they tell us—or don’t tell us,” Echosong agreed.

“M aybe their ‘reason’ is that they’ve forgotten us!”

Plumwillow snapped. “Wouldn’t we all live better lives if we gave up the idea of finding the lake? We’ve had no home for so long—

are we truly a Clan anymore, or just a tattered, undernourished group of rogues?”

Yowls of protest arose from some of the cats around her, though Hawkwing could see that others still agreed with Plumwillow. And I’m trying desperately hard not to be one of them.

“We are and always will be a Clan.” Leafstar’s voice cut through the noise. “I will never lose faith that eventually we will find the other Clans and the home where we are meant to live.”

“Leafstar is right,” Echosong added. “StarClan has sent me one dream, and I know others will follow.”

“We might wait for that until our tails drop off!” Sagenose huffed.

Hawkwing rose to stand beside Leafstar and Echosong. “Rogue cats only look out for themselves,” he pointed out. “Clan cats help each other, and that’s what we’ve been doing all along. Of course we’re a Clan, and we must go on believing there are better times ahead.”

Plumwillow gave him a furious glare. “You’ve got bees in your brain, Hawkwing!”

I can understand why she’s angry with me, Hawkwing thought.

And in a way she’s right. I wish I didn’t see so much truth in her words.

Even though Hawkwing knew he had to support his Clan leader and his medicine cat, he was inwardly torn. He could easily imagine the kind of life he could have with Plumwillow and her kits if they abandoned the rest of the Clan and found a cozy cave, or perhaps a barn like the one where Barley lived. If they had only themselves to feed, they would all get more prey.

Plumwillow has never been my mate, but it’s been so long now since Sandynose and Pebbleshine disappeared… Maybe she and I could be together, someday.

Hawkwing pushed away the enticing vision. No, my first duty is to my Clan.

While Hawkwing was thinking, the argument had raged on around him. He began to realize that it didn’t matter what he or any cat said: M ost of his Clanmates were too beaten down by the onset of leaf-bare, the endless wandering, the losses of their Clanmates, and the silence from StarClan to have any hope for the future.

“SkyClan is dead,” Plumwillow stated flatly. “It has been, really, ever since we were driven out of the gorge. Are we trying to revive something we should have given up on long ago?” She lashed her tail; her kits were staring up at her with huge, bewildered eyes.

“Nothing lasts forever,” she continued. “The original SkyClan died out, too.”

Hawkwing could see Leafstar’s anguish in her eyes and the drooping of her shoulders. For a few moments she was silent, and the conflicting voices died away as every cat turned to her.

“I can’t hold cats hostage if they want to leave.” Leafstar’s words were forced out. “But let us not decide while tempers are high and the bodies of our Clanmates lie beside us. Tomorrow I will call a Clan meeting and we will discuss this again.”